It was so nice, the last day of school, going afterward to kenneth's house to play warcraft and getting my butt kicked, before traisping down to orchard road where the atmosphere was brilliant, where punk-faced choker-laced skater-boys and party girls gathered around the ground floor of cineleisure orchard, listening to punk bands play guitar-charged songs on the little stage nearby, lazing around, talking, all determined to pass the night in some way enjoyable: where further on opposite HMV a large stage was erected and other bands performed in front of crowds sitting down on the grasses. It's the street life, gone for so long since SARs raided but it was nice. Seems like everyone was out that night, except for those sitting for SATs, and for them I wish them well, of course.
Matrix reloaded was nice, if a little too philosophically-corny, but what could you expect? The effects were better, of course.
Anyway I just woke up. Oh well.

Just want to ask a question, you guys can post a reply, if anyone's listening. Do you think music should be pure, as in, the sounds, the mathematics of it, in order to transcend? Or is straight-ahead dirty rock just as fine? Are we, by moving away from traditional elements of it, limiting its power and transcendence by being cheap and complacent and forsaking our commitment to art, since Mozart and the rest were musically/mathematically pure? Or is it a natural progression? Should mathematics govern music, the pitches and all? When you listen to rock on the radio and they sing out of tune, out of note accuracy, is that fine as well, or it's just lousy intonation?
I struggle with this all the time, rock, or no rock, jazz, or are we all going to revert to the Mozarts and Beethovens.

It’s hard to make a stand, but sometimes, a stand is all you need. I’m tired and sick and bitter of being some doormat. To make up the numbers you see. We don’t’ care if you’re not here. You don’t really exist, Mr cellophane. They don’t realize I’m perfectly capable of dominating a conversation, of saying loads and loads, but I’m just bloody tired and pissed at life, and really I don’t want to dominate anything. I want to give you people, you lousy peons, some breathing space. It’s a crazy world but that’s life. And after I do that everyone thinks I have no opinions. No mind of one’s own, he just wants to reflect anything and everything. What rubbish. Aren’t I the individualistic one, and not you? And if so I could go on being unique where you have to waddle in the mud of your clique, your society, your whatever. I’m just giving you a chance. But people don’t see that. They see that after you’ve given them a chance and just agree with everything they just tramp on you. You become afraid to talk to them. What kind of life is that leading? I’m just caught in the middle.
I’m not having any of that. I’m going back to my definition that one should only care about the people that one wants to care about, and who care for them. It’s not about image or being in a clique or anything. It’s bonds that keep people together. And if the bonds don’t want to be there, what can we do about them? I’m not going to create them, am I?

And everyone takes you for granted. You walk along, and when someone wants to talk to them, they do so, and when noone wants to talk to them, they decide that there’s still someone called shawn poon whom they can talk to, and they do so. It’s like I’m just some being that happens to be a comforter in loneliness, isn’t it. Yes, when no one wants to stand up for you and you’re all alone I’m there, and when you’ve got your fun and your social circle all again bye bye goodbye sayonara see you in a few years time when I feel like I need some comfort again from my sad little exploits. Kind of like the prodigal son.

Gee. I hate being the subordinate one. I want to be the star again. That’s MY RIGHTFUL PLACE. And that’s where I’m going to get it. Hate all this rubbish. It’s great to be considerate and all that, but don’t people take you for granted? It’s only the truly humble and nice people that bother to say hie to you. Other people don’t bother.
Society creates all these illusions that once you’ve reached a level in society you can ignore the rest of the individuals around you since they’re ‘lower’ than you. Oh they can just p*** off. I have no time for them. No time whatsoever. What is happiness anyway? All of them just want an identity.

The problem is all of that. And don’t we write songs to vent our frustrations and our messages? No wonder all my songs have been so frustrated at what I consider to be the failings of life. Because they are, and if I can make people see how they are stuck in that matrix and that sooner or later it would be good if they could see the light, then I would gladly do so. It might take me ten songs. Ages. But why not?

I was escapist for a very very long time. Trying to put aside the negatives in one’s mind and only concentrating on what is beautiful and good. The gorgeous strains of music, and so on. On happiness and Spiritual things and all that. Maybe that is wonderful after all. I don’t belong to this world. This world is not my home, I’m just a passing through. And maybe that’s what we must do. But I do hope I have some influence to change the world in some way that is beautiful, to make an impact, like Michael Moore did in Bowling for Columbine, to have some form of message to show to the world, that really all you need is love.
You know what, all we need is love. But who realizes that till its too late? What are we fighting for? Is it worth fighting for?

Over the weekend there was a sense of spirituality, of being close to God, and that's been missing for so long. It should be my primary aim, of course, to be near Him and all. I want to walk close to Him and for Him to talk to me instead of just having a one-way conversation and obey. Sigh. It was nice on Sunday night though--The song 'Days of Elijah' is wonderful. About Christian revival and how we should stand up for Him in these evil times. So true, so true. Moses, and the Bible heroes. And the Bible's verse that night was on how we shoudln't 'envy', which was really apt since I had always been trying to transcend myself, which is really tiring: why can't we accept who we are? We should. Been trying so hard to write musical stuff, and I guess it'll come, in time.

You know what. The Sound of Music and all that Rodgers/Hammerstein stuff is just so lovely. The wonderful sounds of music. It produces pleasurable emotions, pleasure. Pure strains. The notes are all clear and distinct, and harmonious: harmonious. Gorgeous. i just have to sit back and admire, because It'll take so long for me to write anything remotely like that.

oh well.