Already, three people have opiniated that 'christmas don't seem like christmas', and I totally agree. make that four, then.

Christmas is about God, but somehow it just seems like it's about yourself. it should be about fellowship and togetherness, not about busy schedules and work, and buying presents and cards. it should be happy. maybe it's because we've lost the need for good times, having finihsed the As and when everyday is a holiday. or maybe, more pertinently, it's because we're too caught up in our lives and fail to see the needs of others that we're in this funk. mebbe coz we're jaded. as a little kid i used to look forward to christmas, making the tree and all that. now it's just, a mess.

i'm staying at home now with the stupid flu, and it seems like my mobile phone is the only link between me and the outside world. at some parts it's nice, i'm relaxed, happy, and just in limbo, but at sometimes its plain torture, writhing on my bed in sheer pain. still, it's better that my life is simple and unadorned. i can sometimes breathe the fresh air again.

Somehow it doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't know what, but it doesn't. The spirit isn't right somehow? it's become a chore, become mundane. the spirit's lost. Sigh. God why...i just have to relax, right, and give it all away. tis betta to give then to receive, possibly.

Anyway. i echo debbie's feelings in saying that everyone should watch 'love me if you dare', because it is just a brilliant show. it's funny while carrying undertones of despair and overtones of love, 2 lovers doing everything but what they were destined for. is love a game? go catch it before it leaves. la vie en rose. haha. i watched it yesterday morning, bad time too...shld catch it again in a more emotional time.

service was okay...played electric...got to whack the distortion for a bit...a few chords. haha. was pretty good i think....we were quite tight. but the church piano desperately needs retuning. it's so OUT! and that means when u tune to an E, the As and all the rest are off, coz they aren't even in the right intervals. so how? sheesh. dilemna. if i tune to the keyboard and all that it'll be in tune, but then off with piano, and vice versa. jialat means that even if the whole band is in tune, the piano combined with it just makes it bad-sounding, since it only takes one instrument to be off. carolling was fun but very tiring. i realy wanted to go sam's place. but ah well. not nice. anger management was cock. playing 'O Holy night' on the piano wasn't. it was a whole lot of fun. finger gymnastics, they call it. seriously (Don't tell anyone) it's just arpeggios, going up and down, how difficult can it get? hehs.

i just woke up, at 3 more precisely....

I've been blogging so much, maybe because sickness has induced me to write. It's rather asinine, i believe, putting up words on a blog and trying to form an impression on others. it's lame. maybe a blog's just a way for me to collate my thoughts and trace their developments.

so what do i start off with? the most inane thing ever, dreams.

the funny thing about dreams is, they're sometimes so incoherent and so stupid. today's dream was about going back to ACSI as a student, can u imagine it, after JC life. it was so crazy because at that point in time we had literature, and ms mervlyn goh was asking us to analyse some poem. u noe, i think it was 'odysssey'. i don't remember having read such a poem before, let's just say i made it up. and someone else gave a rather good description of the first line, how God is 'I' and how men is '____(there's af unny word there I can't remember what)' and it was like, wow wow i couldn't think of that. and later on people were saying, wah RJ humans, how cum u can't do this stupid PC thing? so i just htought of some odd pt and it sounded so cheem everyone went ohhh ya but then i din even noe what the hell i was talking abt.

yesterday was a brillliant day for shopping. the streets teemed with people, balloons floated in the air, it was almost like party in the park. the stretch outside of lido/wheelock place was especally nice, all the way until taka...that junction, with its graceful trees and tall buildings flanking the road, reminded me of, well, maybe sydney or something...whatever it is, it wasn't ang moh kio.

Crap I hate being sick, i missed basketball for some good food. stupid right. Pete's place on sat was truly superb. wonderful, good food...the lamb was brilliant, so was the tiramisu. wala wala was great...it was nice cuz they played 'creep', and suddenly cut in with the opening chords of 'plush', and you knew it was going to be one good evening. the tequila sunrise wasn't bad at all, actually. 'walk like an egyptian', 'zombie', all first rate...the guitarist is really cool, and so was sherlyn (is that her name). sunday's food was brilliant also, BBQ, with great lamb and wonderful beef prepared by the pple at les amis. justin quek was there, i shaked his hand! haha okay nvm. friend of friend. but i think i ate too much ice cream and nuts, and this is the end result. asthma and coughing. wheezing. can't play basketball. what a ultimate b****/shame.

but i had nice dreams. well, you're bound to have them if u sleep like until 2 o'clock.

this is what i remember...
1. circle games: murderrer! (there wre 2 circles, wif C and C in them...haha)
2. going o kevin's house! (i dunno i distinctively remember a staircase)
3. going to bangkok (yet in the map it suspiciously looked like singapore)
the map actually looked like the singapore map...there were 2 beaches on the left and right side south (like west coast park and east coast park) but at the bottom (south) there was this whole patch of shopping area, and in the north-center there was the industrial estate which was all mouldy and smelly and no one goes there...it was funny, coz i was wondering where the sea would be. haha. i remembered travesting across the place in my buggy from one beach to the other, hopping over hills. haha.
4. being in an imaginary city, owning a small strip of it--> like an independent Monaco. yet we were losing money...there weren't any institutions, no police, no nothing, no schools....lots of shops, but no one was buying...there was just a long strip of shops (one part was air conditioned) and the other was not, and like people were moving their houses (its a dream remember) from an island to our land, becoz they wanted to be with us. it started out well, then fizzled out...we created banks. think that might help. it was funny when we created banks, yeah. we were purged by the mainland. sounds like taiwan. haha.

crap SATII wasn't fantastic, so how? never mind, hope the essays can salvage it. got 750 for writing and 660 for world history (not very smart to do world history, science students have it so much easier).

I am searching through blogger now to look for things to write about. Am thinking of 'self-identity' and an exploration of that concept with regards to my life as an issue. perhaps i might do that after all.

So tired. yesterday was a real busy day, had bball in the morning, a jam session in ws's house in the afternoon plus computer and lunches and hot dogs and fun, and a farewell for good ol' Mr Reeves at night at Bakers' Inn...great desserts and food, a bit of coffee and all that. so yah, great stuff. but i'm so tired now just woke up.

speaking of waking up, i dreamt of X. but then X just didn't look me in the eye. sounds familiar? haha. dreamt about a church stayover with mates, and alot of other things. but it just felt odd.

sheesh, it's not meant to be. haha.

CrAP, I keep spending so much money it's incredible. how do i live like that. gee. i'm spending on average 15 a day, and it's not even halfway through the week yet. plus i'm watching LOTR today and sigh i wonder how. gotta find some not-so-expensive activities.
haha gabriel if u're reading this u owe me FOOD. haha.=D (of course i can't get it from you if u're in melbourne rite....hee)
yes. like. not so expensive things like jamming or playing bball or mahjong or playing PS2...all these things are fun but are cheap. MC=0 (for the econs nuts). so yah. i probably can/should do more of those. playing pool and the works only leaves me with a gaping hole in my wallet, so i should probably cut down.

The more I look at friendster, the more I think it's stupid. it was nice at the start when everyone was saying nice things in their testimonials to everyone, but now it's cookie-cutter, you might as well cut and paste. it was refreshing at the start becoz friendster enabled pple to be positive, when there's so much rubbish going on in the world--testimonials were nice. but lately it has come to a stage when being nice is plain boring. I admire and applaud those who have decided to eschew their 'oh, she's so nice, she's so pretty, she's so..'UGH!!!! testimonials for something with a bit more meaning, like, 'she'd make a good rock star, i can imagine her pouting in front of the cameras'. Testimonials with a bit more definition to them, because right now i can faintly stand to read another one. of course everyone knows she's nice, cool, and all that, but it's retarded to keep saying it, like a broken record disk over and over again.

the thing is, one has to be one's own person, being unafraid to express one's own views and exude one's own personality. any other way is rubbish.

Nice good day had fun watched ELF
am singing those ELF songs

hear those sleigh bells tinkering
_____ too...
come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together
WITH YOO

outside the snow is falling and friends are calling you TOO
Come on its lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with YOO

too bad in singapore we don't have any snow, hah.

SANTA CALUSE IS COMING TO TOWN! U BETTA WATCH OUT!!!! DON'T BE NOTTI!!!

oh crap. i want some snow. sheesh. i'd love to throw snowballs like i was firing bullets, BAM BAM BAM.

SHEESH. IT'S NICE NOT TO TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY. IT'S NICE TO HAVE FUN AND BE WILD AND JUST, EH, CRAP. BE CRAP.

Anyone want a tickle-fight?


err?

anyone?

u can icq me


...

haha.

i guess not.


On a more serious note I'm opening up another blog as a column for me to write things that wouldn't bore you guys. if there's anyone out there reading, actually.

and playing the piano sucks. the keys are all OUTTA TUNE! grr. (okay because of all that equal temparement rubbish, but i won't bore u guys) it spoils my ears.


I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A SOCIAL ANIMAL, RAWWWRRR=)

seriously, empathy is the best thing you can give to anyone. just to understand them makes life a whole lot easier....

People, what do you think about clubbing? i think the people who are often opposed to clubbing are the ones that hardly ever club, DUH. but it's not just that. when they don't go clubbing they assume that all girls and guys do is to touch here touch there. okay that might be true in some cases, but that's not the status quo, and need not be. girls and guys can decide what their limits are, and whether or not they want to lose control of their morals through drinking. people who can control their alcohol often find clubbing just a friendly activity of dancing and having fun, rather than just puking all over the place. it's not as if it's the house of sin where you just wanna get laid. in fact going with your friends, its a rather harmless activiitty. you dance in a circle, for instance, or just dance one to one with your friends and it gets really funny sometimes. all that moralising about how it's the house of sin and all that vice and all that is rather nonsensical. yes there are risks, but everywhere there are risks. the clutch is to control yourself no matter where you are, mebbe you can pray about it, haha, and go with friends, and go to parties where you know people, for eg. indus3 (after prom), so that at least there wouldn't be problems and fights and all that rubbish. and if you do all that it should be fine, of course. and please for goodness sakes' don't drink so much,....

I'm so happy, I just tuned my guitar perfectly in tune (Which is rather rare) and i realised that my ears are getting better again, without the stupid tuner, and i wrote 2 songs! 'simplify your life' which is just a ripoff from the stanford essay and needs new lyrics and a title, and another faster one about how life is so boring...quite a good pub song, mebbe coz i just got back from wala-wala, yah. 2 guitarists/singers, not bad.

yaks. still got a stanford essay to complete...

yesterday was supremely fun. i slept till 2 o'clock, and jeremy asked me to darren's at four, and basically throughout I wasn't thinking at all. i think it's fun not to think. it's much nicer, and there's less pressure on you to be something, you can just be yourself and soak up the cool and stuff. music flows more nicely into your head when you aren't thinking so much and aren't frustrated about life. it's like, you just stare into the space and wonder how nice the stars are, and the moon, and the simple pleasures of life. and all the fun. playing pool was cool, i was just potting the balls with consumate ease, 2 great banks that went across the tables that was truly rather fortunate (with God's eyes, perhaps, haha) and one cut from one end of the table along the cushion to the corner pocket which was cool.....i don't know, i thinnk my stance has improved, it used to be rather awkward but now at least my feet are closer together, like a snooker player would stand.

quiet time was good too, thank God. aiya.

PROM was a blast. had a really good time thank God i din get drunk and okay everything went really fine...everyone just looked their best, their hair sparkling, their suits neat and tidy, the girls looked so different but all of them had good taste in their dressing, none of those over-florid styles and cluttered layouts, just simple elegance and tasteful evening wear. i arrived at 6, went to hsin yao and alex's suites, which really looked elegant esp alex's (there's even a pillow menu) and later on playing 'all that jazz' as they entered, (although we had to have a makeshift bass player), taking photos with countless people and just having this nice buzz of atmosphere inthe air, and later on with all the performances and our playmakers performance + prom queen and stuff was really pretty entertaining.

but the fun was yet to start. induz3. now that's where its at. it started slow, just got some bourbons and v sprites, then it really heated up a bit wif thehotties nad later on when more pple came it was gabriel's turn to heat up and it was really good with 'she hates me' and all that haha kren was cheering him on (tsk tsk), so scandalous rite. haha. okay never mind. u dun get it. mr third eye blind ah. the fun was only starting. the music got better and better with all the r n b of 'pass me e money' that stupid song and the DMX 'party up' and 'move bitch' and all that which was really good, all of us were in a circle and we were just jiving to the groove and the beat and the lights......you have to be high, if not you'd be an idiot trying to jive/groove. it's really stupid to be grooving rite, when u are like, oh man. at the end, was really....'yeah!!!! WOW!!! ' and shouting my head off to vida and candice and all of them and aiya just fun lah. long island tea is great....but why do they only serve housepours! irritating.

went back to hotel and talked a bit and slept. oh wells. woke up to mcdonalds'. had singalong session. had nice lunch which was free with the most awesome peking duck(acutally its just canapes and stuff) before jocking off to camp. now thats a life, i tell u.

all those stupid songs are still stuck in my head. ugh! im going to download them!!

I haven't blogged for a long time, but it's still been fun. thursday saw me go shopping to buy some g2000 shirt...friday was really busy, with band rehearsals at darren's, bball at tanglin cc, and jazz band practice at andrew's house. we need to get an amp for my guitar, becoz i can't use a keyboard amp, it sounds rather bad. bball was bad, as usual. our 'all that jazz' needs work, esp the front part, becoz it's still a bit messy actually, but it's really ambitious that we're actually going to do the fast parts.

today was great, though SAT 2 was lousy, especially world history. i felt like i was guessing alot of the answers, since alot of them were very hazy. sigh. mebbe i should've done literature. hopefully still got january to do?? (u can submit it until the 2/15 i heard). but after that lanning was fun, since it was nice being with your mates agian, talking like you did in secondary school. "let all new faith be tolerant of that fetishism, lest it bruise its own roots". playing warcraft and all the rubbish.

i was quite put of by my parents, becoz we had put in a one buck coin into the trolley machine and when we wanted to return it there wasn't any trolleys left, and so a man had to give his one buck coin from his own wallet to my mum, on her insistence, and i was embarassed, because i didn't know if he would get his money back, and i'd rather leave with a clear conscience then cheat the man of one buck. after all, he might earn only 3-4 bucks an hour. that's 15 minutes wasted.
i could have used marginal utility theory, that one buck to us brings less utility then one buck to him, but well....it's subjective rite.

tonight we were at wala-wala, and it was really cool. the band was really cool, and i remembered them from the day when they were playing back at hard rock cafe's thursday show, and when the lady singer, who's really fantastic and has a great voice, and more importantly, vocal control, sang their original song, it was, confirmed, them, coz i had heard the song last time...they went through lots of songs, 'to be with you', and a stunning rendition of 'sweet child of mine', plus 'dreams', 'more than words', 'standing still', and a chorus-rousing 'bitch', 'losing my religion', etc. it was cool when they hauled up one of the audience members to the front to do some singing, it was 'fire', and he was just cranking up the tempo. not bad, pretty sporting. darren said he could sing better, i wouldn't disagree, haha. the male singer was really good too, with a bonjovi impersonation of 'summer of 69'. had a strawberry daiquiri which was really nice in addition to a bit of mr quek's hoogeraden beer, which is actually much better than tiger.
their band was really tight: the lead guitarist's improvisations were out of this world, just all over the place, and the ES-335 that he used had an organic ring to it that was lovely, it meant he could do all the guitar harmonies and stuff that an ordinary electric couldn't do, and the rhythm section was tight, while their lead singer, the female, strutted her stuff. it makes me inspired to go practise some more, and write more....

i think i'm beginning to get back my social-me, the part of me that connects with people and talks to their inner souls and all that. it was dead and buried because the As just stifled all that away from you, but now perhaps it has just started emerging, as I take off the covers one by one of you and you, and peel off the layers slice by slice, and then we can start having a conversation. it's great, just laughing with your mates, talking, having fun.

it's a wonder i saw you today, and you and you. funny how all the old memories creep back, just as silas marner went back to lantern yard to recollect old memories.

Today was a fun day, basically. it started off with some jazz jamming on 'all that jazz' on the piano and working the chords before doing our 'playmakers' song, 'holiday', and it was cool coz all the councillors were there and they are like one big family, and we were just rocking to hong ming's 'qing tian' (by jay chou).haha . right...

adjourned for soccer....im so thankful to God that the asthma didn't really come back, had to take a few puffs though. played not bad, i think....dribbling was spot on, i could just get past pple with effortless ease (oh well at the end it wasnt good coz i was so tired anyway)... the great move was on the right, seeing a gap and squeezing it through 2, then cutting inside gabriel (sorry man) and releasing it to daryl who passed it to guan zheng but he missed, oh well...did another crossfield run from the right to the left but ended up firing way over the bar, oh wells.....my shooting sucks, i could have scored more, i guess. daryl scored a really nice one. went back home to mug for sats, how sad is that.

the thing about dribbling is, its not so much the skill that allows you to get past players, but the timing. harry has fabulous skill, he can turn around in a jiffy and is just so quick on the turn, as in, controlling the ball and turning at the same time, while i need to take some time. but thats' the thing, in some cases, when its really tight, taking your time actually helps. it's about knowing when to dribble, when to do the bursting. it's about seeing a gap, and quickly moving into the gap before someone else comes across, to have a visual perspective of the field and see where the gaps are. its not just about, oh, i've got the ball, let's sprint 200 m and well, what, score a try. if one does that, one is surely going to be tackled. when you get the ball, for example, if you quickly burst, the defender, anticipating it, will surely get you. so its about how to trick the defender. getting the ball, you have to do your trick when the defender least expects it, when he's abit slow in recovering, when he assumes that you arent' going to dribble, you're going to pass, because you didn't make the initial move to run with it, but you look around, and just when you lure him into a false sense of complacency, boom and off you go. there's a rhythm to it, you just watch good players (like well, eh, pires, rivaldo) and see.

like, one of the skills is, how do you squeeze past two? well, the answer is, the only way u can is to go between them. you try to isolate them, make sure there is a large enough gap between the first and the second just for you and the ball to go through, and then you just shuffle through the first, isolating him, before going through the second. the first person would think the second person would stop it, and the second person would think likewise. pires did it against another team, he waited, waited until there was just enough gap, that angle to do the run, and he did it, ghosting past one and the other. it's all about space.

the bad thing was, i didn't eat a single thing (not a thing) till 7 at night. wow.

you know, last time back in primary school days i was probably more happy, confident of myself, bubbly and all that, and it's sad to see people lose all of that childlike joy for this pensive, moody, the world-is-a-mess persona. last time, i just talked all the time, making jokes and laughing and all that, being friends, being with people, and now it seems as though all of that is gone. it's probably due to the trauma of having bad experiences, people laughing at you, people sniping bad comments about you, and you feel betrayed, you feel afraid of showing yourself, 'maybe i'm just afraid to show myself how weak i really am', and all that, because you fear people laughing at you again. it happens everywhere. such things can really wreck your development. esp in gep, and being laughed at by others, and all that, such a stigmatising experience. it castigates you. so you build shells, and you aren't so eager to do it anymore.

perhaps it's just singapore. in US there's probably alot more sniping, but pple develop confidence abt themselves because it's their nature to encourage confidence, to encourage openness, glasnost if u like. here, if you talk so much, they tell you, oh just shuddup. if you do some funky hip hop moves, instead of going, yah thats so cool, and join in the fun, they're like, what the hell, what's this idiot doing, does he think he's p diddy or something? its absoutely ridiculous, they aren't willing to accept diversity and all that and accept that there are people different from them and they don't have to impose their views on them, or, more frankly speaking, ME. it's probably due to the whole system we live in that values so much conformity, and it just stifles me because i don't belong to that matrix. (haha) the result are people that look like each other, speak like each other, talk like each other. ridiculous.

and the last factor of the change is probably the fact that being bubbly and happy is very tiring after a while. and after a while , being the fickle old me, i get tired and sick of being happy, so i want to be sad for a while, so that when i'm next happy it'll be more enjoyable, being happy. it's my theory of cycles, how pple have mood swings in order to maximise their sadness, or their happiness, since being bland and boring is the worst thing of all. and its just plain tiring, i must be getting old.

Went to MUN'S house today, had fun, played 'PLAYSTATION', whatever you call that, childish as u like...winning 11 and teaming up with mun to beat the rest!! damn cool. scary movie was not bad also. damn funny..dinner was good, mahjong was , well, i just learnt it...so overall a great day.
there was a scandalous section but who cares.

but this blog is not my toilet paper (as the chinese proverb goes, whatever it is)

you know, when people tell you, oh, you're mr personality, oh you're nice, you know what, its just a euphemism. what they mean is that, you look like a dog, you're just lucky your character's okay, so you can get on in life without a bruised eye. it's ridiculous how people comment so much on looks, or emphasise it so much. we're just animals, basically. if that's the point. i don't care, i like the way i look, and if i had plastic surgery, well, it won't be me, wouldn't it? i don't care if i look like crap and be a negative externality to the world, well, the pple who think like that are the ugly ones, inside. God made me like that, i'm compelled to like it. and dont' say that looks are permanent, one can always have plastic surgery, can't he? he can always have facials, or groom his hair, to look like some hunk. but how do you change character? ppl say, looks are permanent, character changes. but you can never change who you really are.

so how? haha. nvm.

I FINISHED MY A LEVELS! I FINISHED MY A LEVELS!!!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!
finally its over.

can't stop man.

i mean its been like 2 freakin years, and now its all up to God, and i really dun care (at lest for now) what i get, i just wanna enjoy myself.

i was out jamming, which was really fun...the noise was so loud, my guitar was in form (at least), churning out riffs and improvising, though the tuning and my hearing was off, but who cares, gangwei's guitar was so sharp! but who cares, the song was damn good, damn tight, fun to play some more.....
went to watch 'master and commander', not bad, russell crowe was at his usual best again i guess. jonah. haha. at my usual wittiness-levels, or should i say, corniness levels, freed from the shackles of the 'As'.
walked around, and we were like, i dunno, jinxed or something, all the shops just closed at the time we got there, until we reached starbucks, which thankfully was open! talked alot of crap there lah.

in fact, it was quite a nice day, the only thing i didn't do was play pool, or lan. but never mind, the ac guys will have lots of that anytime.

I JUST WANT TO EAT YOU ALIVE! EAT YOU ALIVE! (to the tune of limp biskit)....

please take s paper.

sigh

Had a really weird dream again! was dreaming abt X and Y (no names) and i was with Y and they said we were going to X's house and so i went in a car but i was so scared of seeing X (i dont know why oh wells) and so i just sat in the living room while Y and X were upstairs talking to each other and finally we went away before seeing X in the balcony again, hoping that X didn't see me.

stupid rite. haha. i don't think you can decipher it (what it means).

wrote a punkish song today, have to start writing again. ha hah.

Yay, my pool's working, finally. stroked damn nice today.

Guess what, just Econs S left! wow! (to study at least, there's still pract crit)! fINALLY! i went out on friday eating lovely beef kway teow and watching 'warriors' before playing pool and potting ball after ball....with my class, that was cool, coz everyone was just yapping and talking and having fun. and on saturday we went to hsin yao's house to watch rugby. you know what, there's something so alluring about everyone sitting on the sofa watching TV, making jokes and talking and boy was it a fabulous match. a last minute penalty to equalise and send the game into extra time. plus 2 tries. 2 more penalties in extra time, to level the scores. and finally, a jonny wilkinson kick with his RIGHT foot that sailed nicely in. sigh. though i hate england i have to admit they deserved it. playing winning eleven was so fun too, and his mum makes really nice chicken. i can't wait for bball tomroow.

so the rugby world cup is over, and it has been a great tournament. here i have to give out some awards, ahha the ceadsearc awards. haha. fro RWC 2003....

BEST PLAYER:
Jonny Wilkinson. you have to give it to this man, for his sheer determination and coolness under pressure, especially that drop goal. now i hope he doesnt' turn into a rob andrew, a one-dimensional fly half (but his taclking is good, actually)...just a bit of carlos's skills and he'll be the best player on the planet, undisputably. and please dont' be a beckham, please.
OTHER CREDIBLE MENTIONS:
Stephen Larkham: I just love this guy. He's got everything, a solid boot (the kick to Tuquri's try, and the kick to the far touchline that secured the penalty), fabulous running skills, esp against new zealand, and an ability to split the defence.
Carlos Spencer. Enough said....behind the legs. sigh.
Fred Michalak. Although he had a nitemare against england, he still shows enough promise at 21 to suggest he can have many many more good world cups. outstanding in the boot, in e tackle and in e sidestep.
Imanol Hariqundony (whatever the spelling is). Fabulous at the lineouts, and is such a brilliant backrow forward...always creating, and charging, especially with besten and magne, and since he's only 23 it spells promise.
Neil Back...sigh. england.

BEST TRIES:
Rupeni Caucau's many numerous tries has to be mentioned here, since they were just fabulous individual efforts, not to mention Jason Robinson's rampage through Wales's defence. Also, the Welsh effort starting with Shane Williams against England and ending with Steve Jones over the line must take the spotlight for sheer teamwork and skill.



BTW michael buble's 'kissing a fool' is really nice. it's just, so sappy. hee hee.

Ahh. sigh the joys of life. history was finally quite manageable, thank God, mebbe coz I studied for it. okay i better study for lit.

wrote a lovey-dovey sappy song called 'love is in e air', and some other rubbish. sigh. musical mind coming back, yeah. tired. now. haha. going to play tennis.

I really have to thank God for all of that....just to worship Him whole-heartedly, and to let Him be involved in my everyday life. from the time i eat breakfast, to the time i have lunch, and after that, for everything and anything. it's wonderful coz He loves you. ah. sigh. it['s so important that God's just a part and parcel of you, you know, not just some distant God. sigh. i want to know You more, deep within my soul I want to know You, Oh i want to know You, to feel Your heart and know Your mind....

HEY go see this crush calculator! and see how compatible you are with your prospects! it's really quite accurate, if i must say.

The exams have flashed past me, so many things have happened, here am I, waiting for it to be over, for new things, for good things to happen, to find myself among all the rubble.

So one week has passed, and I'm just in limbo, trying to get myself out of the mess that is studying for an exam. it's like, after the momentum's gone, it's so hard to get back there. Hopefully with God's help it won't be so bad. i hope not.

monday, and math was surprisingly easy, though i couldn't do complex numbers. econs was manageable though i really won't know how badly/well i'd do. tuesday, and gp was just rubbish. history was quite bad. source-based was quite difficult, with the hypothesis itself being confusing, and my essays weren't really first rate, i believe. i'm not sure if i provided enough detail for the lenin essay, and for imperialism i probably didn't link economic rivalry with great power rivalry enough.
wednesday, and math was again easy, which is quite surprising. thursday, and econs mcq and data response/case study was manageable again, but i wonder how they're going to mark it. literature was quite a success, i think i managed to acutally express myself well this time, hopefully i can repeat it this friday, again.

so it leaves history paper 3 and literature paper 5, and i'm so not looking forward to it. i just wish, things would go fine....ah well.

melancholy is a beautiful emotion sometimes. just to sit there and ponder and cry and hope and smile....

'nobody loves me....not like you do' portishead.

because the sunset was so beautiful today, the crimson red framed by a mound of clouds sculpted around, as though the sunset was peering out through a gap to greet us. the swirls of red and blue, and in a minute, it had disappeared, how transient the joys of life are.

i have been lost in endless trains of thoughts and books and math and econs and lit and most of all history how can i appreciate life?
'how could you give me life, and take away from me all the unappreciable things that raise it from a state of conscious death?"