Thursday, March 20, 2003

oh well i might believe in love once again. there's something nice about seeing people as individuals with needs and longings and souls and feelings and all that and to reach out and bring them into your arms. to hug them. to seek out the good in all of us. i might once again believe in building the good in others, that's so conspicuously gone in the swirl of rock and my obsessions and desires. i might relook my life.
the problem is, so many things don't go the way i wanted it to go, but perhaps there's no reason why I can't bring back my philosophy on life which I used to know and the happiness and treasure of being nice and being with people and taking care of emotions and all and being involved again. there was a distant period, i'd admit, when everything was a warm fuzz and i'm just there dreaming and being passive, and looking at musicals and all that, in a world of your own. what i did for love, and all that jazz. its over now. this is back to reality. this is back to the people that I know. the people that matter. this is back to feelings that are familiar. i can't write a musicalish song because I didn't live in that era. it speaks to me only vaguely. i'm not familiar with all of it. i must go back. i must go back.

this is reality. this is life.
there's a time when boredom just kills you: that time is now. the US is bombing iraq and I couldn't care less.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

well hello everybody. my brain's a-frying, it can't absorb anything, which is pretty bad. really. i mean perhaps its the influence of rock music and listening to cooper temple clause on the MTV which was pretty cool and trying to write a great broadway musical song in the mould of a gershwin or something, you know, that obsession, and still not getting it right, yet. at least not as good as i'd hoped. it took the whole day and i'm tired. i've been downloading stuff from 'Chicago', which I found really brilliant, hilarious and fun at the same time, its fun, 'All that jazz', and stuff. been writing a bit of that kinda music with the jazz influences which i've sorta missed out on, and I'm trying my hand at writing something like 'what i did for love' from 'a chorus line' and 'some enchanted evening', but to no avail. Ah well. The need for some of these experiences, I'd suppose. oh well. my hols have been spent at home, at guitar, with a few friends doing some activities that dont;' seem fun at all due to that immense pressure of common tests next week. ah well.
what a life.