Stacey's Mom has got it going on....... sheesh, this song's been in my head like every morning during camp, it's crazy man.
and i'm starting to talk like a mat, no surprise eh.

too lazy and can't be bothered to talk too much about SCDF, tho it's a real waste of time. Still, it has taught me important lessons--discipline, making my bed, trying to live for others and not for myself. Our OC was speaking about the need to live for others--in rescue operations, if one lives for oneself, one wouldn't be able to do one's job properly, for it involves sacrificing oneself for the task at hand. of course, it also has wider implications, but that's probably one of the more important things you learn, how to work as a team. making friends, having social skills, working for the same goals. after all, i'll be in there for 7 weeks, i might as well make full use of it to make friends and enjoy social companionship.

but i really hate the stupid things like putting on your helmets, marching around like dogs, and esp. sleeping at 10 and waking up at 4. that simply sucks. the good thing about army pple is that, fundementally, they're nice, they've got a basic decency and are removed from all the angsty rubbish that befalls people who happen to be more intelligent, because perhaps they enjoy the simple things betta. when i was in camp, wow, ice lemon tea tastes wonderful, maybe because i've been living on a diet of rice and funny dishes that tastes all the same.

iN NS, you always have to be on your guard, which is the really sickening part of it. you can't ever slack, you can't ever relax, except at night. it's good, mebbe, coz you feel confident, you feel like a man, but too much of it is just sickening, i guess. the balance has to be there...

yet i think in NS I sorta started to draw closer to God, coz mebbe you know, there are more obstacles and all that and i'm so lonely and depressed sometimes that all I can do is to turn to Him. i sit down alone in the night, by the window, looking at the night sky and remembering there's Someone out there waiting for me. when i miss my family, I have You O Lord. after all, You said that 'trials produce patience' and maybe NS is to that effect. NS's gotta teach me lots of things, man, according to Your will. how to trust in You when there are problems befallling me, eg. when i coudln't find a piece of paper, etc. that's really nice. thank YOu God.

maybe i write better songs too, because there's like no distraction and one can focus. at home i used to be like, wow, crap, let's watch TV, oh, let's use the PC, etc, there's no urgency to focus. but now there is a greater need to spend the time well, which makes for better usage. It's like, when i came back to home, the piano playing was much better, fundementally, even got a song just playing on e piano. after all, i only have limited opportunities to play, so i've gotta make full use of them.

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!!!