I think people have very mistaken "impressions" of me, viewing me as an extrovert, flamboyant, old chum, or something like that. well, to tell you the truth, i am none of that sort.

many people think that all i want is a pretty girlfriend/wife. but really that's not what's on my radar. i really want someone who will last, who will love me enough to stay e distance with me, to go the distance with me. that's when i can put some of myself into that other person, to give off myself to that other person. to reach out, out of my shell, to her. but without that assurance of something lasting, it is merely impossible. i'm too afraid of being hurt.

The only person is Christ, who will do that for me. no one else has come close, so far.

i wonder who it will be. if there is that someone.

It's interesting to watch the world from a Parisian window
u don't really have to play
but it's nice just, watching.

to seek the approval of the Lord as the basis for my actions is my goal.

to know, fully, and really, his approval and love and goodness for me, as the basis for what i do, is the real key.

it's not earning it - it will come naturally, once i understand and appreciate it more fully.