Bad news. never mind what it is, just bad.

it is just providence, really. somehow, at this stage of our lives, we are so influenced by MTV and the pop media about living your life to the fullest we forget that it's God's purpose that really counts, and not your own. you can't choose God's purpose for you, you weren't even born when he decided why HE placed you on this earth, and it is for HIS pleasure not yours. not mine. somehow i think deep down inside we knew what purpose he's called us for, but maybe we don't really listen and further that purpose to see whether it is really that way, we just treat it as the passing wind.
and it's not the way i should be living my life, is it.

nothing on earth comes from ourselves. it's all providence. our talents, our life, friends, our family, everything, all we ever needed or made us happy was from God, and somehow i just want to be thankful and proclaim thanks and how he's blessed me. i gotta realise that because God loves me, I need to proclaim that love to others, not as an obligation but because i am so inspired and so touched by God's love that i should share it.

now as i wake up i should pray that all things will be well. i daily put my trust in You, O Lord. and i shall not confuse the gifts with the giver, because it is You who has given me life,and the gifts, and I just want to praise You.


and as i watched spiderman, i realised you can be young and still make an impact on the world. i'm already old enough. i should stop kidding myself that i am young and time can still wait for me. then when will i stop thinking like that? at what age should i grow up and do something good to the world, or something that God wants me to do? how old was David when he killed goliath? i'm never too young to do anything.

so i should be consisent about my life, consistent all the time to God's plan. and what God wants.

Had a good time today. played tennis with ben at his new condo, which he said was white when it was really maroon=), and was fun....went shopping and got a top. topman. okay, nice design i guess

am starting on a new book, rick warren's 'a purpose driven life'. i don't know. i guess i'm sort of in limbo as to what God wants me to do. the priorities were wrong, and all that. whatever. it doesnt' matter. i'll put away the OLD and the selfishness of living for myself and start again living for YOU. It's okay. better late than never. so i'm on to the first chapter. wonder what the rest will bring.

so what i've learnt is;
1. it's not about me, but about you - my life is not about myself, but fulfilling what you desired for me, what your purpose is.
2. you know me better than i know myself -- so i will trust in you and wait on you because you know better.
3. life has no meaning living for myself, but it has living for you --
self explainatory.

onward to a new future.

It's really a blessing in disguise to have to do phone KP duty (in the afternoons, during lunch), because it means that, when others are gone from the office and all, i can have really long, quiet, quality time with God and do my quiet time then, which will allow me to walk better with Him, when i need to be strong in Him to be a good testimony and to help me walk right and find peace/joy/true love. because this is my destiny. i cannot help but want to seek my Maker, for it is the source and goal. it is a 'zero', the base, just as any building has a base, so my base is God.
it is as simple as that. we can build our nice buildings on top of each other, and all, but if the base isn't right, everything falls. everything.

daily i surrender to you, everyday. take my life and let it be songs of praise to you O lord.

let it be.