it's just simple love and a hearty warmth
that i can give to the world
nothing else but simple love
people will tell you you're simplistic but you can't fight the system
you can only flow with it
you cannot erase the stereotypes from the world: people will always be embarassed over small things. people will always be superficial. people will always be selfish. you cannot create any form of utopia, because you are never perfect. you can only go with the flow and laugh with it, and live within the parameters. that is, to conform.
because you are too small to do anything.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
i'm feeling really lethargic. lethargic in the sense that everything is fading and blurry and there's no passion to do anything. no passion to get scholarships and all that junk, no passion to go out there and do anything. no passion, even to turn on the lights.
i'm just floating around, waiting for something good to happen. which will probably not be from me, and then the cycle goes around again.
break e cycle.
like a harthouse, with no aim in sight.
i'm just floating around, waiting for something good to happen. which will probably not be from me, and then the cycle goes around again.
break e cycle.
like a harthouse, with no aim in sight.
Do you have the time
to listen to me whine
About NOTHING and EVERYTHING
all at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
SHE says it's lack of sex
that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
HE said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
it's bringing HER down
Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Uh,yuh,yuh,ya
Grasping to CONTROL
So I BETTER hold on
Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED
Sunday, October 31, 2004
the blog's purpose is not just for the here-and-now, for people to read about my life, or the things that are happening in it; it is also a history, a concrete storage of memories and facts and ideas and knowledge that will prove useful when my mind is so warped (because we are, like Silas Marner, transported to a different world) that it is unable to comprehend how it used to be. just as a dead tree is unable to imagine itself once being alive and full of green leaves.
taken from an old entry:
"you know what blogging (sic) (is) a good idea after all. sometimes i feel it's really bad because one can never relive it and then the blog just makes one want to remember it and sometimes we're walking around with our eyes on our back."
so we are walking with eyes on our back.
infact, the blog has lots of interesting entries. there was this whole entry about that song, under 2003(march 30th and 31st). there was the description of the ac choir as a "spiritual cleansing, a purging of unhappiness and uncleaniness, an a refinement to beautiful thoughts. Thank and praise God for music. It's a beautiful thing, it really is. There are some times when I've begun to believe that again. Thank God for that, after all the crap that's happened before."
my posts are always on music:
"do you think music should be pure, as in, the sounds, the mathematics of it, in order to transcend? Or is straight-ahead dirty rock just as fine? Are we, by moving away from traditional elements of it, limiting its power and transcendence by being cheap and complacent and forsaking our commitment to art, since Mozart and the rest were musically/mathematically pure? Or is it a natural progression? Should mathematics govern music, the pitches and all? When you listen to rock on the radio and they sing out of tune, out of note accuracy, is that fine as well, or it's just lousy intonation?
I struggle with this all the time, rock, or no rock, jazz, or are we all going to revert to the Mozarts and Beethovens."
some more on classical music: check out June 9, 2003. "Classical music demands a sensitivity that people need to cultivate, somehow, to the art of music, itself: a chord change is crucial because it is. it's not just to fill up the bars. "
" You know, it's surprising how some people just can't listen to music properly you know. i think it's an art, just to listen to music...i mean if people'd only learn how to listen properly, they'd be able to appreciate the harmonious blend and swell of classical music....when the chord is played with perfect intonation, there's a 'swell', since the harmonic overtones of the 5ths and 3rds can be heard distinctively and the chord blends in together....there's the sounds of angels, there's the sounds of a purity, a cleansing, that is just so delightful. it's not just technical stuff, it really happens, one just has to open his ears and listen intently, to let the music come to you."
"and 440hz has a kind-of classical beauty about it, seriously. it's when Mozart sounds so melodic and simple and balanced and reminiscent of order in the universe...the shifts of a chord, from a 4th to a 5th is simply a whole change in mood....the 4th is more 'gospel-like' and more summer-like, whereas the 5th is trying to resolve itself to a 1st....and the interrupted cadence 5-6 is a surprise, really an 'interruption', unexpected...the dissonances are trying to resolve itself to consonance, and there's the tension...
and if only people open their ears they'll listen to good music, and not that crap you get on radio....in the world where a toilet bowl can be art, we need some absolute nuances of what good art is." (June 20, 2003)
" I have just been listening to the wonders of the just intonation scales and the richness and the fullness that you get from those chords, that blend and the harmonic overtones that are so pure and delightful. My songs sound nice again, haha. Yeah, I mean i've been trying midi programs that can sequence these scales, but unfortunately it's shareware. Never mind, the bliss of a moment. the swell brings back moments of angelic choirs singing in pure harmony, a world apart from the convulated untuned music that we get here, where chords just lose all their flavour, when the 4ths and the 5ths and the 1sts all lose their overtones."
alot of them are about religion/God.
and of course some of them are about ranting and raving, check out June 04, 2003.
social commentary: June 27, 2003
some of them are just, well, okay.
"There are girls that are just so delicious... they've got this incredible charm about them that makes me swoon. sigh. but I'm a creep, after all...what the 'ell am i doing here? man, it's really that smile that's so heart-warming, it just releases all the good energies in me...i just wanna go and embrace people. just to accost them or something, sigh. delicious. yummy!" (July 05, 2003)
okay enough now. save the next post for the others.
taken from an old entry:
"you know what blogging (sic) (is) a good idea after all. sometimes i feel it's really bad because one can never relive it and then the blog just makes one want to remember it and sometimes we're walking around with our eyes on our back."
so we are walking with eyes on our back.
infact, the blog has lots of interesting entries. there was this whole entry about that song, under 2003(march 30th and 31st). there was the description of the ac choir as a "spiritual cleansing, a purging of unhappiness and uncleaniness, an a refinement to beautiful thoughts. Thank and praise God for music. It's a beautiful thing, it really is. There are some times when I've begun to believe that again. Thank God for that, after all the crap that's happened before."
my posts are always on music:
"do you think music should be pure, as in, the sounds, the mathematics of it, in order to transcend? Or is straight-ahead dirty rock just as fine? Are we, by moving away from traditional elements of it, limiting its power and transcendence by being cheap and complacent and forsaking our commitment to art, since Mozart and the rest were musically/mathematically pure? Or is it a natural progression? Should mathematics govern music, the pitches and all? When you listen to rock on the radio and they sing out of tune, out of note accuracy, is that fine as well, or it's just lousy intonation?
I struggle with this all the time, rock, or no rock, jazz, or are we all going to revert to the Mozarts and Beethovens."
some more on classical music: check out June 9, 2003. "Classical music demands a sensitivity that people need to cultivate, somehow, to the art of music, itself: a chord change is crucial because it is. it's not just to fill up the bars. "
" You know, it's surprising how some people just can't listen to music properly you know. i think it's an art, just to listen to music...i mean if people'd only learn how to listen properly, they'd be able to appreciate the harmonious blend and swell of classical music....when the chord is played with perfect intonation, there's a 'swell', since the harmonic overtones of the 5ths and 3rds can be heard distinctively and the chord blends in together....there's the sounds of angels, there's the sounds of a purity, a cleansing, that is just so delightful. it's not just technical stuff, it really happens, one just has to open his ears and listen intently, to let the music come to you."
"and 440hz has a kind-of classical beauty about it, seriously. it's when Mozart sounds so melodic and simple and balanced and reminiscent of order in the universe...the shifts of a chord, from a 4th to a 5th is simply a whole change in mood....the 4th is more 'gospel-like' and more summer-like, whereas the 5th is trying to resolve itself to a 1st....and the interrupted cadence 5-6 is a surprise, really an 'interruption', unexpected...the dissonances are trying to resolve itself to consonance, and there's the tension...
and if only people open their ears they'll listen to good music, and not that crap you get on radio....in the world where a toilet bowl can be art, we need some absolute nuances of what good art is." (June 20, 2003)
" I have just been listening to the wonders of the just intonation scales and the richness and the fullness that you get from those chords, that blend and the harmonic overtones that are so pure and delightful. My songs sound nice again, haha. Yeah, I mean i've been trying midi programs that can sequence these scales, but unfortunately it's shareware. Never mind, the bliss of a moment. the swell brings back moments of angelic choirs singing in pure harmony, a world apart from the convulated untuned music that we get here, where chords just lose all their flavour, when the 4ths and the 5ths and the 1sts all lose their overtones."
alot of them are about religion/God.
and of course some of them are about ranting and raving, check out June 04, 2003.
social commentary: June 27, 2003
some of them are just, well, okay.
"There are girls that are just so delicious... they've got this incredible charm about them that makes me swoon. sigh. but I'm a creep, after all...what the 'ell am i doing here? man, it's really that smile that's so heart-warming, it just releases all the good energies in me...i just wanna go and embrace people. just to accost them or something, sigh. delicious. yummy!" (July 05, 2003)
okay enough now. save the next post for the others.
Man, I feel so awfully fat. like, there's a lump of fat in my gullet or something, waiting to be dissolved. sheesh. must be all the haagen daaz and what-not, cake, especially, i've been eating. anyone who goes out with me, please tell me to exercise, please, man. sheesh.
that's what being a clerk is all about, slacking, sleeping, getting fat. OCS boys don't kill me now. exercise is good for you.
on a lighter note, wen en's house is great for musical inspiration. if anything, it's quiet, and it just makes you feel, well, posh, great for writing sit-down-by-the-poolside lounge music. because you can just imagine it being played there. and the piano is fabulous. i must definitely go there more often. the walk in can be my exercise. yay.
often i feel incoherently bad, and socially inept. i used to be skeptical when people said there's a left-brain, that controls logic and speech, and a right-brain, that controls music and e arts/visual. and like, now it's all right-brain. i'm hearing songs in my head with my right-brain, pitching well, everything, but everything turns to dust when i open my mouth to speak. i don't speak, i splutter, like, 'beagaghagkdalgha' and like everyone is 'waht'? 'what's the point?' sheesh. okayyy mebbe the connections isn't working well. must be the fat, huh.
okay so blame it on the fat. i MUST MUST get down to some jogging.
that's what being a clerk is all about, slacking, sleeping, getting fat. OCS boys don't kill me now. exercise is good for you.
on a lighter note, wen en's house is great for musical inspiration. if anything, it's quiet, and it just makes you feel, well, posh, great for writing sit-down-by-the-poolside lounge music. because you can just imagine it being played there. and the piano is fabulous. i must definitely go there more often. the walk in can be my exercise. yay.
often i feel incoherently bad, and socially inept. i used to be skeptical when people said there's a left-brain, that controls logic and speech, and a right-brain, that controls music and e arts/visual. and like, now it's all right-brain. i'm hearing songs in my head with my right-brain, pitching well, everything, but everything turns to dust when i open my mouth to speak. i don't speak, i splutter, like, 'beagaghagkdalgha' and like everyone is 'waht'? 'what's the point?' sheesh. okayyy mebbe the connections isn't working well. must be the fat, huh.
okay so blame it on the fat. i MUST MUST get down to some jogging.