There are girls that are just so delicious... they've got this incredible charm about them that makes me swoon. sigh. but I'm a creep, after all...what the 'ell am i doing here? man, it's really that smile that's so heart-warming, it just releases all the good energies in me...i just wanna go and embrace people. just to accost them or something, sigh. delicious. yummy!
okay that was a bit off, hmmz? today was a boring day, stayed at home mainly after guitar and slept, how interesting can it get? tomorrowmust be better, but today was already pretty good, esp the morning, just totally high. haha. wondering what to do if we're jamming tomroow...wanna try recording 'nobody cares', its a pretty good song, a catchy chorus, prolly an above-average guitar riff, lyrics by wen en *but i might tweak it*, a cranberries/poppish style verse: it's pure pop, but who cares?
nothing left to say, eh? music was so cool today though, there was a nice blend, as usual, that's so essential. melodies, more melodies, ahh i love them.
Saturday, July 05, 2003
Friday, July 04, 2003
Yay! econs S is over! woo hoo, can celebrate now!
But really it's been a rather crappy day today...though I'm already all tired. Hanging around with 3 different groups: daryl/nat, calvin/lijing/ken, dinky/eleena...sigh, it's so weird. Just feel like a retard, i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am i doing here, i don't belong here. no wonder that song became an anthem. It's like, people talk and i just can't relate, just can't chip in, got nothing to say, just don't care what they're saying, just don't need to care what they're saying. It's like people do/say things for social leverage/clout and all they wanna do is to push themselves up the ladder to make themselves more attractive to women, or to make themselves more 'well-liked' and all that. heck man, i've had enough of that. goodness, i'm WHO i am, because of who I am, and heck i've made a living out of being stupid and doing stupid things and acting stupid in my life, i like it that way. it's so attractive to become me, i think. not that anyone really agrees. no one really bothers. concerned abt their image, all of us are. image-consciousness kills: it means that really all we do is to filter someone through that proxy called their physique: if that physique is good, everything will flow: otherwise it's all rubbish. and i'm tired of laughing at someone else's jokes and all that: no one laughs at mine anyway. and so i'm tired of humouring people, why don't all of ya humour me?
crap i soudn very angsty. blogging really builds that up in you. i was going to say something nice, that what i really want is just pure, natural human relations, and really that's what i somewhat have, and that's all i need, no need for the social clout, the political leverage, yadayada, it's all retarded rubbish, that is. the problem is that sometimes the things others do affect us, when it shouldn't, really. if not all we really do is to please others, and that's the most retarded thing i've heard.
But really it's been a rather crappy day today...though I'm already all tired. Hanging around with 3 different groups: daryl/nat, calvin/lijing/ken, dinky/eleena...sigh, it's so weird. Just feel like a retard, i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am i doing here, i don't belong here. no wonder that song became an anthem. It's like, people talk and i just can't relate, just can't chip in, got nothing to say, just don't care what they're saying, just don't need to care what they're saying. It's like people do/say things for social leverage/clout and all they wanna do is to push themselves up the ladder to make themselves more attractive to women, or to make themselves more 'well-liked' and all that. heck man, i've had enough of that. goodness, i'm WHO i am, because of who I am, and heck i've made a living out of being stupid and doing stupid things and acting stupid in my life, i like it that way. it's so attractive to become me, i think. not that anyone really agrees. no one really bothers. concerned abt their image, all of us are. image-consciousness kills: it means that really all we do is to filter someone through that proxy called their physique: if that physique is good, everything will flow: otherwise it's all rubbish. and i'm tired of laughing at someone else's jokes and all that: no one laughs at mine anyway. and so i'm tired of humouring people, why don't all of ya humour me?
crap i soudn very angsty. blogging really builds that up in you. i was going to say something nice, that what i really want is just pure, natural human relations, and really that's what i somewhat have, and that's all i need, no need for the social clout, the political leverage, yadayada, it's all retarded rubbish, that is. the problem is that sometimes the things others do affect us, when it shouldn't, really. if not all we really do is to please others, and that's the most retarded thing i've heard.
Thursday, July 03, 2003
Okay, so like 4 common tests are over, and I'm slightly back to normal, save for econs S that's really bugging me tomorow, but never mind, i'll find complete relief after that. history was okay, save for the no-time on the sourced based. literature was fine....i think PC was quite alright tho i spent too much time on it, henchard was normal, long days was normal but not much time left but ms lim is a nice person, haha. econs was probably 'A'-able, if the essay and case study gets through so that the 2 mistakes on the mcq won't be too bad. math is a killer...just stared at the paper, didn't know what to do, just didn't get the hints, just didn't know how to do it. sigh. how stupid can you get?
It's so different, RJC. i just feel this whole overwhelming sense of you-must-do-well you-must-do-well if not-your-life-will-be-screwed....sigh it was never that way at all, was it? never, never.
It's so different, RJC. i just feel this whole overwhelming sense of you-must-do-well you-must-do-well if not-your-life-will-be-screwed....sigh it was never that way at all, was it? never, never.
Monday, June 30, 2003
I have just been listening to the wonders of the just intonation scales and the richness and the fullness that you get from those chords, that blend and the harmonic overtones that are so pure and delightful. My songs sound nice again, haha. Yeah, I mean i've been trying midi programs that can sequence these scales, but unfortunately it's shareware. Never mind, the bliss of a moment. the swell brings back moments of angelic choirs singing in pure harmony, a world apart from the convulated untuned music that we get here, where chords just lose all their flavour, when the 4ths and the 5ths and the 1sts all lose their overtones.
Holy Spirit be with me: i've been so encouraged by Bible church's youth fellowship and all. I wanna go back.I asked God for my melodic gifts back (if you would call them gifts) and there and then i just wrote a song about coming back to God! 'Jesus...I'm coming back to you'....with rock/pop influences, and I'm so happy coz you know these things don't come so often...the immediate answering of prayer. And the funny thing is that, at the meeting I was thinking, crap i wanna return home, i've been away for too long, I've settled for the leftovers when I can enjoy the firstfruits, the harvest.... and then about a few minutes later the speaker suddenly spoke about how we all try to leave the church to see the world, when the fruits are there, right there, where the church is...and she said, why settle for the dust when you can settle for the gold? Sure, there's a lot of dust to see, but when you get the gold.... and immediately it struck...wow, deja vu, hadn't i been thinking that thought just a while ago? Praise God, what a revelation. I must go back i must go back.
I have to start.
Holy Spirit be with me: i've been so encouraged by Bible church's youth fellowship and all. I wanna go back.I asked God for my melodic gifts back (if you would call them gifts) and there and then i just wrote a song about coming back to God! 'Jesus...I'm coming back to you'....with rock/pop influences, and I'm so happy coz you know these things don't come so often...the immediate answering of prayer. And the funny thing is that, at the meeting I was thinking, crap i wanna return home, i've been away for too long, I've settled for the leftovers when I can enjoy the firstfruits, the harvest.... and then about a few minutes later the speaker suddenly spoke about how we all try to leave the church to see the world, when the fruits are there, right there, where the church is...and she said, why settle for the dust when you can settle for the gold? Sure, there's a lot of dust to see, but when you get the gold.... and immediately it struck...wow, deja vu, hadn't i been thinking that thought just a while ago? Praise God, what a revelation. I must go back i must go back.
I have to start.