All those people who keep talking to my parents about me, why don't you talk to me?
It's easier
or are you scared? bleagh bleagh bleagh.
you might be scared
so in that case, better not do the cowardly thing and talk to people about me, especially when you don't know the truth.

maybe i have too much conflict in my life, but i'm GOING TO FIGHT IT OUT.
(too used to conflict)
good for lawyers
really, i feel uncomfortable when there is no conflict.

Too bad I don't have the willpower and strength to get what I want. But this time, I'll be, bullet proof. this time I am going to come out, and decide for myself - and not let silly enemies block my way. ONWARD SHAWN.

I'm kinda screwedup sonofagun, maybe that's why I run away to things that I'm good at - it's an escape.

Yeah, everyone is getting married already.
Moving on with their lives
So my mother tells me
They've planned for their future
and you're just "linging-longing" your life away
As the wind blows
When are you going to settle down?
Stop chasing the prettiest girls in the world
Who will hurt you again and again
Simple is good
Simple yes simple
maybe i'll just go and marry a vietnam girl
might be better
(this is a cathartic release, oh but you're not supposed to say it out loud)

Yeah i feel much better already, thanks for listening
Will always be an emo kid maybe
But emo kids are only emo because they're not living the ideal life
For if you were living the ideal life, you won't be emo
You'd be forever thankful and happy and joyful and glad
If u saw everything in the perspective of the Lord
But I'm not there yet, I don't pretend to be there
I only can say I'm trying to get there and by faith it's possible
but it's long
and i can't help these human emotions

bleagh
london was great because i felt
i could do anything i wanted
and it was all me
all right
all fine
it felt like home, but home with no restrictions
except how much something costs.
no social norms, no boundaries
no "how are u feeling" that sorta thing
maybe i could live by myself
and be a hermit
i'm too egoisticial for my own good
even though i appear modest
fail
major fail
a megalomaniac, that's what
and yes i used spellcheck

okay before you bore about my life
i doubt anyone's reading this
okay email me if you do

some people say, blogging's so self-indulgent
but it's the only way, sometimes, to release that pent up frustrations
or i could write a song, but then it'll be an angsty song, and no one likes my angsty songs
ah
im feeling alot better now

I'm back
I'm not sure I can say I enjoy being back.
I doubt there is anyone out there who really understands me
Maybe I'm really an evil person
Ah crap
I guess I am