Friday, March 28, 2003

In a nice chatty mood now, I guess. It's a nice respite and I'm finding my wit back again, which corresponds to a return of the brain to start functioning again, triggered off by a shengwu post. thank you very much mr sheng. I'm talking sense now, at least. i wish wen en were here, he won't be complaining about my lack of definition in sentences for a long time.
it all feels a little surreal, doesn't it. i'm conditioned by my lack of interaction with people which is getting me a little upset, but then again i'm looking into myself now, out of necessity I guess. It's 'a quiet life', if you know what I mean. Perhaps it's more secure, but definitely, certainly, less exciting, less fun. Oh well. The pains we have to go through in life.

It's all a little surreal. walking along the streets not knowing if the person next to you has got SARS. maybe if it were a little serious we'd be looking for a 'cure for SARS' instead of a 'cure for AIDS'. when one sneezes, there creeps in that fear. we might even have to build a 1 m no-entry radius around ourselves if this goes on. What a life eh. I'm just wanting to get back to civilisation.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

I'm stuck at home, trying to play 'god' in civilisation III, or the leader in warcraft III, and wringing my eyes dry, literally. it's boredom. it's a mess. i'm looking for people i can talk with but unfortunately all of them are stuck at home too.
hmmz maybe writing might help.
argh.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

no school till 6th april, am i happy or what. actually somewhat, but actually perhaps i liked school. seeing and interacting with people instead of staying in this boring little house with no one really to talk to except through the internet, sad little me, or perhaps on the fone, no wonder i'd have chose to go to school, even if it means all the work. and the worse thing is, it's no free holiday, they're going to take away our june holidays! how sad is that? how sad is that? my parents are sorta very worried and they want me to stay at home, but i think i'll die. crap i need some way to get out.
wrote some rubbish in the toilet, pretty humourous
"i'm just a kid/ for goodness sakes'/ wouldn't u be worried/ if i were acting like i was fifty-six?"

There's just so much going on in the world right now. There's the iraq war that's killing everyone, coalition forces and Iraqi civilians, mothers are crying because their sons have been captured by Iraqi soldiers, not knowing that Iraqi mothers are crying because coalition forces have killed their sons. There's this SARS virus that floating around, a silent killer with no cure in sight and everyone's on the look out. And everyone gets discouraged. what's going on, what's going on.
We need salvation. We need salvation. The world around me's crumbling and we can stare at it fall to the down and crush like dust, and the only secure Rock is religion. God. Just to know we can walk through life fearing neither hailstorm nor mortar. It's these times when we turn to hymns. Rock of Ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee. Amazing grace. And so on and son. It's the power of the hymn, to lift the souls from the troubles around, to see the Heavenly perspective indeed. To put away troubles, and sorrow. To wipe tears from eyes. We need salvation. we throw it away, we really do. why do I forget so easily? whyyy? It's grace, it really is, and I'm so happy and then I think, i'm happy, i don't need Him, and it goes back to misery, and I come back coz i'm sick of that misery, and then I'm so secure and things turn happy and joyful. Why must it go through this cycle? What's wrong with me just being forever secure and happy? Why must I be an individual? Why must I prove myself?? Am I that insecure?

Oh well God please help it's a crazy world we're living in it's gonna get crazier we thought the 1940s were crazy enough now we're never sure what's going to happen it's all up to You All up to You.
no school till 6th april, am i happy or what. actually somewhat, but actually perhaps i liked school. seeing and interacting with people instead of staying in this boring little house with no one really to talk to except through the internet, sad little me, or perhaps on the fone, no wonder i'd have chose to go to school, even if it means all the work. and the worse thing is, it's no free holiday, they're going to take away our june holidays! how sad is that? how sad is that? my parents are sorta very worried and they want me to stay at home, but i think i'll die. crap i need some way to get out.
wrote some rubbish in the toilet, pretty humourous
"i'm just a kid/ for goodness sakes'/ wouldn't u be worried/ if i were acting like i was fifty-six?"

There's just so much going on in the world right now. There's the iraq war that's killing everyone, coalition forces and Iraqi civilians, mothers are crying because their sons have been captured by Iraqi soldiers, not knowing that Iraqi mothers are crying because coalition forces have killed their sons. There's this SARS virus that floating around, a silent killer with no cure in sight and everyone's on the look out. And everyone gets discouraged. what's going on, what's going on.
We need salvation. We need salvation. The world around me's crumbling and we can stare at it fall to the down and crush like dust, and the only secure Rock is religion. God. Just to know we can walk through life fearing neither hailstorm nor mortar. It's these times when we turn to hymns. Rock of Ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee. Amazing grace. And so on and son. It's the power of the hymn, to lift the souls from the troubles around, to see the Heavenly perspective indeed. To put away troubles, and sorrow. To wipe tears from eyes. We need salvation. we throw it away, we really do. why do I forget so easily? whyyy? It's grace, it really is, and I'm so happy and then I think, i'm happy, i don't need Him, and it goes back to misery, and I come back coz i'm sick of that misery, and then I'm so secure and things turn happy and joyful. Why must it go through this cycle? What's wrong with me just being forever secure and happy? Why must I be an individual? Why must I prove myself?? Am I that insecure?

Oh well God please help it's a crazy world we're living in it's gonna get crazier we thought the 1940s were crazy enough now we're never sure what's

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

had real fun on saturday just being me and playing ball in the pool and swimming. it's nice not to think. ah well.it was real good fun, the pure and simple. happy birthday esther. although it's a lil' late, i know. ah well.
Common tests have gone for about 2 days, having taken both lit and econs, i guess i'm a lil' worried for lit, especially the set texts and perhaps PC, well you'd never know, it's lit after all and I've never gotten above a B for lit, except for that B+ from Ms Lim which might have probably been a sympathy mark. ah well. econs was alright and i think i did quite alright for the case study though the essay was a lil' short on time, but that's the way life is. wrote two songs today which i found both pretty good stuff on the bus on the way back, one musicalish and one rock-pop but both in Ab, don't ask me why. yesterday also yielded a chicago-like song that came after watching the Oscars in e morning. Yeah. today that's what i did too, and it was real nice. chicago and all. ahhhh....love that musical song and dance.

but now i'm a wreck, the day's so pissin hot and I'm so damn sweaty it can kill. crap i need the air-conditioning. it's a sweltering heat made worse by the humidity of a swamp and i'm feeling stupid now. physical body's killing me. it's surprising how different an afternoon can make from the state where you're great, happy and fresh and so eager to see everyone, from being a wreck. life's a nice roller-coaster and just listen to what Ronan says: u'd just gotta ride it.

hmmz. seems like we all post on blogs when we're unhappy eh. or else we're out there enjoying the moments and savouring what bits of memories we can garner for ourselves.