you know something. the thing I've learnt about praying, is to mean everything you say, every bit you say. it comes from the heart, not just from the cavities of the mouth. that's so important, because once you really mean what you say, everything becomes much better. and besides, God knows everything you wanted to say anyway, He knows everything that goes on inside you, inside your life, inside your heart, the most secret desires, you can't hide from Him... as the Psalmist says, where can I go to? In the mountains You are there...etc. and like all we have to do is to say what He already knows.... and it's all for the best. So why not? He already knows!

'Lord I give you my heart, I give You my soul, I live for You alone... Every step that I take, every moment I'm awake, Lord have Your way in me'

watched league of extraordinary gentlemen, and my was it a wonderful show. simply outstanding. all the villains, the different heroes, and the simple majesty of the setting, the era of the past, the turn of the century, wow. i mean it has to be one of the best action shows this year, coz really there was no time that i decided to start looking at my watch to see how long more this would take and actually enjoyed the show!

ballet was a little bit boring, though the second ballet one that was aboriginally-influenced was really quite funny and quite artistic as well: strauss was usual viennese. wow. i mean. sitting around was quite fun but ultimately i was very tired, argh.

it's really nice to have a nicely-tuned piano again, just finished playing it, writing some tunes, playing other songs, etc. wrote a nice funky jazz chicago-styled piece on thursday night which i'm trying to perform for grad nite, well if we got through, coz it's really fun and jazzy and catchy: oh i don't want to say this, but its catchy indeed. yeah. the thing about listening to music is, none of that pop nonsense. when hearing real music, you hear all the harmonic overtones, the swell that a note brings. a note isn't just a note, la, bland and all that. there's this swell about it, this natural vibrato, the harmonics that swell above it, it's a 'swell', well that's the way i would put it, and unless one hears that swell, music isn't glorious: the note is just a note. but with that swell its a piece of art.
crap i think my ear has seriously gone awry from all the rubbish i hear, coz i seem to have lost that knack for listening to the swell, to really listen and immerse myself in it, and let the notes ring forth, rather then just hear it. coz it seems the sounds-in-my-head are just a little too sharp for the piano, or too-flat, and it's really irritating, because, no wonder all the songs sound off, you get what i mean. has anyone remembered how 'autumn' sounded like? i begin to realise that you have to be musical to understand 'autumn', or to get even a feel of the images and colours of that song, especially the chorus melody, because only when the harmonics are there, and the notes are all perfectly in tune, with just intonation (la and ti are both slightly flatter than the equal temperament, which probably explains why it sounds not-so-good on an equal-tempered piano), then you get a beautiful melody. oh i'm not boasting about it, coz most of the time my ears are too crass to be able to appreciate beauty, and sigh, i want to get back my ears. argh.

and when you listen well, you're not sleepy. nothing really matters to you. you're just enjoying the sounds. not notes, but sounds.

i find lit and music very similar: i'm trying to think of new ways to studying/analysing lit, and it is suspiciously similar to music, not-surprising, of course.
to anaylse lit based on: a)characters/interaction of characters b)themes c)atmosphere/mood/tones/imagery/rhythms d)significance/allusions/historical context e)plot and that is rather similar to music, isn't it, coz in programmatic symphonies you have characters, you definitely have themes, those are the melodies/motifs that run through the music, atmosphere/tones/imagery based on the kinds of tone colours used, which is analogous to the choice of words used, and the rhythms used is akin to the rhythms used in lit, be it shorter words, or a more syncopated rhythm, or longer, more fluid rhythms, to give different effects. ahh that is cool. using music to appreciate lit. haha.

today was a great day, maybe because of the fact that i prayed that today would be great. so it was, huh, thank you God. ahhh. class went really well. music flowed nicely in my head, for once. there was no pressure to do well myself, it was as though God was helping me to go through the day, and simply thrive through His strength and not my own.lit, i could actually think. the GP video was really really interesting with good music to boot. and for once i could do all the math! i realised you have to be neat doing math coz it really helps your simplification and all that, and trigo was like, a challenge! i could do it! ahhh. and my jokes flowed well, for once. okay that was really quite a perfect day huh.
have to mention sarah's composition, its pretty brilliant stuff. there's a memorable yet simple theme which is nicely accentuated by swinging drum rhythms, pretty cool. ahhhh makes me want to write again jazz stuff, just opens entirely new ideas and possibilities.

well im erally tired see you oh i jus linked yvette.

there's something interesting about a person's name, i think. your identity, who you are. reputation reputation reputation! --it is a false most undeserving, or something like that. maybe that's all that might be left of me, huh. i don;t know i'm tired of all this its quite messy i just wanna get some beer and get high. studying can wreck ur brains, muahaha.

foo fighters rock
today was mad it had to rain just as i was about to go play tennis, ugh. the moment i went down, showers...bleagh.damn pissed. haha.
wrote some songs.

got an M+ for econs s. sigh. disappointing.

i'm tired man. tired tired tired.

Lord, all i want is to let You take control of my life, in every way, to worship You in my life. to experience Thee in some special way, to work through me, to make me stronger. to sense Your Spirit working through me, and not my will, but Yours be done. this i pray, amen.
sigh, just a simple request, to rest peaceful in the arms of the Almighty God suffices; no need for me to exert my will, or to concern myself about myself, i'd be happy to be in the background n let God take centerstage, and talk to Him, somehow. He is my Father, and i his child, and that is the best way it should be. and sin is just detestable and not an issue at all. ah. just wanna be like that. and just give thanks, coz all the good things in life are from Him and His plan will be sovereign in my life. so let it be. sigh. coming back to the people i knew. the ac family i long to be in again. and there with the whole presence of God and all that. be with me O Lord....I give You my heart...I give You my soul, I live for You alone...You are Holy. so change me, somehow.

being close to God is great, eh. wrote a Christian song yesterday, and it was nice and peaceful, a nice strummy one. today was headachy, which was really bad, until a nice nap alleivated much of the pain. but surprisingly my hearing was quite good, i could tell what an Ab was an what an F was.....for my r n b song, and happy, respectively...i was listening to bob the builder and decided to write some kiddy music, how's that? like, bob-bob-bob the builder...haha so spastic. nvm.
playing tennis with wen en and dalglish was quite a good work out, and so was haagen daas with jeremy. man i missed that place, haven't been there since like sec 4, when i grew all the fats. haha. no wonder.