Already, three people have opiniated that 'christmas don't seem like christmas', and I totally agree. make that four, then.

Christmas is about God, but somehow it just seems like it's about yourself. it should be about fellowship and togetherness, not about busy schedules and work, and buying presents and cards. it should be happy. maybe it's because we've lost the need for good times, having finihsed the As and when everyday is a holiday. or maybe, more pertinently, it's because we're too caught up in our lives and fail to see the needs of others that we're in this funk. mebbe coz we're jaded. as a little kid i used to look forward to christmas, making the tree and all that. now it's just, a mess.

i'm staying at home now with the stupid flu, and it seems like my mobile phone is the only link between me and the outside world. at some parts it's nice, i'm relaxed, happy, and just in limbo, but at sometimes its plain torture, writhing on my bed in sheer pain. still, it's better that my life is simple and unadorned. i can sometimes breathe the fresh air again.

Somehow it doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't know what, but it doesn't. The spirit isn't right somehow? it's become a chore, become mundane. the spirit's lost. Sigh. God why...i just have to relax, right, and give it all away. tis betta to give then to receive, possibly.

Anyway. i echo debbie's feelings in saying that everyone should watch 'love me if you dare', because it is just a brilliant show. it's funny while carrying undertones of despair and overtones of love, 2 lovers doing everything but what they were destined for. is love a game? go catch it before it leaves. la vie en rose. haha. i watched it yesterday morning, bad time too...shld catch it again in a more emotional time.

service was okay...played electric...got to whack the distortion for a bit...a few chords. haha. was pretty good i think....we were quite tight. but the church piano desperately needs retuning. it's so OUT! and that means when u tune to an E, the As and all the rest are off, coz they aren't even in the right intervals. so how? sheesh. dilemna. if i tune to the keyboard and all that it'll be in tune, but then off with piano, and vice versa. jialat means that even if the whole band is in tune, the piano combined with it just makes it bad-sounding, since it only takes one instrument to be off. carolling was fun but very tiring. i realy wanted to go sam's place. but ah well. not nice. anger management was cock. playing 'O Holy night' on the piano wasn't. it was a whole lot of fun. finger gymnastics, they call it. seriously (Don't tell anyone) it's just arpeggios, going up and down, how difficult can it get? hehs.

i just woke up, at 3 more precisely....

I've been blogging so much, maybe because sickness has induced me to write. It's rather asinine, i believe, putting up words on a blog and trying to form an impression on others. it's lame. maybe a blog's just a way for me to collate my thoughts and trace their developments.

so what do i start off with? the most inane thing ever, dreams.

the funny thing about dreams is, they're sometimes so incoherent and so stupid. today's dream was about going back to ACSI as a student, can u imagine it, after JC life. it was so crazy because at that point in time we had literature, and ms mervlyn goh was asking us to analyse some poem. u noe, i think it was 'odysssey'. i don't remember having read such a poem before, let's just say i made it up. and someone else gave a rather good description of the first line, how God is 'I' and how men is '____(there's af unny word there I can't remember what)' and it was like, wow wow i couldn't think of that. and later on people were saying, wah RJ humans, how cum u can't do this stupid PC thing? so i just htought of some odd pt and it sounded so cheem everyone went ohhh ya but then i din even noe what the hell i was talking abt.

yesterday was a brillliant day for shopping. the streets teemed with people, balloons floated in the air, it was almost like party in the park. the stretch outside of lido/wheelock place was especally nice, all the way until taka...that junction, with its graceful trees and tall buildings flanking the road, reminded me of, well, maybe sydney or something...whatever it is, it wasn't ang moh kio.

Crap I hate being sick, i missed basketball for some good food. stupid right. Pete's place on sat was truly superb. wonderful, good food...the lamb was brilliant, so was the tiramisu. wala wala was great...it was nice cuz they played 'creep', and suddenly cut in with the opening chords of 'plush', and you knew it was going to be one good evening. the tequila sunrise wasn't bad at all, actually. 'walk like an egyptian', 'zombie', all first rate...the guitarist is really cool, and so was sherlyn (is that her name). sunday's food was brilliant also, BBQ, with great lamb and wonderful beef prepared by the pple at les amis. justin quek was there, i shaked his hand! haha okay nvm. friend of friend. but i think i ate too much ice cream and nuts, and this is the end result. asthma and coughing. wheezing. can't play basketball. what a ultimate b****/shame.

but i had nice dreams. well, you're bound to have them if u sleep like until 2 o'clock.

this is what i remember...
1. circle games: murderrer! (there wre 2 circles, wif C and C in them...haha)
2. going o kevin's house! (i dunno i distinctively remember a staircase)
3. going to bangkok (yet in the map it suspiciously looked like singapore)
the map actually looked like the singapore map...there were 2 beaches on the left and right side south (like west coast park and east coast park) but at the bottom (south) there was this whole patch of shopping area, and in the north-center there was the industrial estate which was all mouldy and smelly and no one goes there...it was funny, coz i was wondering where the sea would be. haha. i remembered travesting across the place in my buggy from one beach to the other, hopping over hills. haha.
4. being in an imaginary city, owning a small strip of it--> like an independent Monaco. yet we were losing money...there weren't any institutions, no police, no nothing, no schools....lots of shops, but no one was buying...there was just a long strip of shops (one part was air conditioned) and the other was not, and like people were moving their houses (its a dream remember) from an island to our land, becoz they wanted to be with us. it started out well, then fizzled out...we created banks. think that might help. it was funny when we created banks, yeah. we were purged by the mainland. sounds like taiwan. haha.