I am happy.
I realised what God had wanted to tell me all along. He has blessed me. Now is the time to enjoy the blessings.
And you know what the secret is? The secret is this: To be content.
Contentment is our greatest strength. It is a place of peace, of rest, of goodness, of kindness, of thanksgiving. Knowing that Jesus my Lord despite my stupidity and inspite of my messiness in His grace and faithfulness still decides to bless his friend who in his stupidity was so discontent.

i counted my blessings.
'still madly in love' (which comes from the Lord Jesus--> but this is another story of divine intervention man, wow wow)
'autumn' (still nice really)
the wonderful 21st birthday party
all my times of fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ
all my friends who love me and care for me.
my loving family.

what else do i need but to be content?

be content, praise God.