I'm on a pilgrimage to find and meet God. i believe there's no better thing and nothing more inspiring and worthwhile than to meet Him and obey Him. i mean this week i've learnt important lessons which i really really want to remember and internalise in my life.
i've learnt to put Jesus as the center of my life-- and everything will be well with me!. i've learnt the need to persevere against trials and temptations, for that builds character (James 1). i've learnt to submit and obey. i've learnt that God is for me. i've learnt to trust Him and put Him first.
how precious is the sweet name of Jesus! that saved us from our world of sin and brought us to fellowship with God and freedom from death and sin!

it's wonderful and truly awe-inspiring. God is. just pray that it'll continue and You'd find me faithful.

i mean alot of times i blog about these spiritual things because they're what concerns me. i mean i could blog about lots of earthly things but then again they're not that important in the light of eternity. you know, alot of times, our souls just yearn for God, our souls just crave for the living God and yearns to talk with Him. and we alot of times block out that need by filling our lives with busyness, with lots of music and rhythm and beats, by conversation and mental thoughts, when our hearts are really just craving for God. i'm glad that in the small moments of my life i'm able to sense a little bit of His direction and feel a little bit of God. just have to be more trusting and allow myself to be used by the Holy Spirit. but yeah i thank God that he's still merciful in spite of my sin.
i mean yesterday was band and the music was good thank God and i really wanted to write a song about the sweet name of Jesus because that was what i really felt, that Jesus' name is so precious and alot of pple just misuse it but really it's so precious it's the most precious name ever man. as the hymn goes, Precious Lord, take my hand.

today i was really quite off, because mebbe i was just trying to put the spiritual part away from me in order to get some rest. but it wasn't possible! in fact the whole day was really not that good. the only good part was the lunch and walking around with jing but other than that tennis was rubbish, and at colin's place save for the fantastic food and wine (Seifried Estate Winemaker's Collection 2001 pinot noir, fantanstic stuff, cost me a bomb too, sigh) the conversation was not good for me-- it was only when i was alone and praying to God about the day and actually slowing the pace down in the bus was everything much nicer, and much clearer-- i could find my soul and my peace again, and i din really need to talk so much because i was at peace, i was still before God and stuff. at leasat there was a bit of stillness. i could feel life in a totally different way i didn't feel before. which was great! so actually being with God (or not) makes so so much of a difference to me. it might not be, to others, but to me it is. i mean i am nothing without Him, truly nothing. my basic facilities are too rudimentary and crude to be of any use in this sophisticated world, and i'm just dumb without God--only with Him am i able to really be somebody and be myself. it was ironic it had to happen this way-- i was just thinking a few days back, is it any different with God or without God? Yes yes there is so much of a difference i don't want to go through this again. haha. ironic lesson.

anywae having said that the wine was really good.

praise God for my life.

Today has been great. so many things i've learnt! so many things i still need to work on.

firstly though, I need to trust more. and to know that God is always for me and always wanting me to come back to Him. i pray that i'll just come back to Him and trust in His unfailing promises. i only need God--that God is with me. nothing else will i cling on to lest Satan get footholds. Elder Ho just prayed that i'll resolve anything that's in my heart with You O Lord and Holy Spirit please remove my fear and anxiety. i keep fearing for myself i just need to know that in spite of my sin and unlovingness You still sent my Lord, Jesus Christ, to come down for me to save me. in spite of this you are merciful--i can just give thanks and praise You for your mercy. I can give thanks and praise you for your goodness and love. i shall not look back at my sin but praise you for the new life i have one of joy.

i struggle with sin. alot of times, we forget who we really are (For me, i'm a child of God) and wander off some lonely path hoping for some instant gratification, but then, we get lost there; we wanna come back, but it's a struggle, to put aside our pride and confess our disobedient sin. and so why should we wander? why don't we learn to keep on the straight and narrow path that God has created for us to walk in, under his cover and protection and authority, being obedient, living by faith and being obedient to his Word, and instead of being so distracted by the things of the world and the temporary temptations of pleasure. i want constancy. i want consistency. that's how i find my identity. i hate this compartmentalising of life that i sometimes do, as though praising God and worshipping is for church times, and in army i can do as i like coz it sucks anywae, and being with secular friends i adopt secular mindsets; that's just wrong. constancy, shawn. that's your identity and it shouldn't change. that's the only way to really walk with God. i am going to be judged for the deeds i do on earth on the whole time.

my soul longs for You O Lord. I am tired of this mundane existence sometimes. it's easy to just be happy about little things. but i realised that nothing else suffices except knowing You.


anyway batch reunion was good; talked to a few good friends i haven't met up with, met up with some ac pple, some classmates, some assorted friends from og and stuff, reminisced about the old times of BBTT. it was a great excursion. the music wasn't brilliant but the spirit was there. that's what matters.

help me God to live for You! To know you is the best thing. to have constancy. not to forget it when i wake up tomorow.