Stayed at home today coz the flu bug came to me, and was pretty unproductive except for finishing the new song I've just written, which is the musicalesque one. Honestly I'm pretty happy with it, matching or perhaps surpassing my high standards...I'll post it on the web once I've written lyrics to it. This song has a rather enchanted air to it, being a lil' romantic like all musicalish songs, and has some semblence of emotion, that differentiates it from all the other trash I've been writing.
It's great to spend hours on the piano. One gets into this very musical mood, where the notes ring out loud and clear, and the harmonies are distinct; Where we get into the music itself, we speed up/slow down just as required, there's an elegance about the touch, etc. I was playing my old Mozart song that I had to perform for the exam long ago, and I realised how much more I understood the sympathy, the pathos, the sweetness of the melodic parts, in addition to the brilliant parts. At least now I'm playing it with some maturity that I didn't have last time. Which brings me to realise that its really a growing process, this piano-playing thing. It's great, I'm finally getting my touch back.

I told you we'd go back to normal after monday, and it was rather mundane, I'd say. I think I grew a lil' closer to God again, and I've become introspective, a little more, at least. Music's flowing through my veins again, I suppose. The Band concert was not bad but the auditorium it was in deserved better, since every wrong note was articulated so clearly, according to ms chen. haha. Oh well.
I'm quite pleased with the two songs that I just wrote today, one an extension of an earlier song. pretty good stuff. I'm feeling musical now, after sitting on the piano for 2 hours and pressing away at the keys and slowly appropriating all the musical notes into my brain.
I'm real tired. Having a lil' bit of flu, it better not be SARS. Pls God don't let it be SARS. Ah well. good night.

There's something wonderful found in pure, unbridled, spontaneous Energy of ebullient enjoyment, childish laughter, such joyful happy fun: life is that good and that brilliant. It's the life. There is no need for philosophies of life to dictate what in essence is living: no system could encapsulate the joy and energy of the human spirit. There's no need to read into the connotations about what someone is saying. people are all just friends and love and are happy for each other. There is no need for too much thought. It's just liveliness, spontaneity and fun.
Damn I missed that. It's been gone for too long, lost in all that psuedo-literary crap and all that. Argggh.

Today was really an encapsulation of what had been missing for too long: it was my birthday and I didn't expect much, but things worked out just right, just like I prayed it would. Wonderful. lots of 'happy birthdays' and shaking hands n some hugs and a nice lil' card from mel/nic and just a nice friendly cheerful atmosphere going on around. Later on became even more 'siao' especially in the canteen where i was just loud and boisterous, illuminiated by torrents of pure energy. Torrents.
Dinner was pretty good: at fish n co where there was quite a lovely farm-house setting and boosted by lively conversation, preceded by pool of course which was not bad. sigh why can't I pronounce 'souffle', argh. haha. Bakers' Inn's 'souffle' was a nice introduction to the wonderful world of that fluffy egg pudding, having real good texture and taste complemented by the vanilla. i suppose everyone enjoyed themselves a bit, though it was a lil' premature they had to leave by 10 for some physics test but I guess I was too tired anyway, sedated by sips of tequila and curacao.

Thanks, Lord, things went out fine, and help me to have just that simple faith of a child in knowing You will do everything for me and I just have to receive it whole-heartedly and trust in You. It's times like this that you realise that God can change things in a really subtle and different way. It's not just a mental shift but a whole dimensional change, if only one'd trust, and I'd just hope I won't forget too quickly, like I always do. Silly me.

It's just warmth, really. Warmth.

Ah well. I'm tired now. The whole day's been great and it's been fun. Thanks for making it memorable. the chummy ol' quek. lil' ben. strange wen en. intoxicating jeremy. ws and guoliang. thank you.
Okay the blog's rambling now. See you. tomorrow will be back to normal.

I'm in this weird state where dreams usurp real life: my dreams depict reality very strongly, and the rest of the time awake is left trying to clutch these dreams that appear but for a moment and then disappears. In other words I'm approaching a dream-like state of consciousness, where images are hazy and impressionistic, the keys are flat, and everything is in this approximation rather than requiring the burden of a concrete exact notion of everything.

There was even a dream where I wrote a song, in my sleep! There was even a tune, which I remembered had some As and some Gs, but unfortunately, I've forgotten the whole tune! Darn it. It'll have been pretty cool to be writing a song in your sleep. I really wanna record: heard the hotties' rendition of 'in my place' and the quality was quite outstanding really. Apparently they've got a new program in place, some digital recorder, and seriously everything's much clearer now. Oh well. Got a latest theory about why songs sound so different, perhaps its the instrument one uses to compose: piano songs tend to be more logical, and more interested in these logical chord progressions, with inversions, sequences, and the lot. Also probably the rhythms tend to be more regular, and the chord changes tend to be more frequent, with 2 chords in a bar, and perhaps with more repeated notes, that represent the piano pressing the notes. On the other hand, guitar songs tend to be more interested in riffs, in instrumentations, or in repeated chord progressions with more imaginative melodies fitting into the framework of the chord progressions that repeat. In other words, the distinct feature of a song written on guitar is probably the melody and all that, since the chord progressions are pretty much the usual guitar progressions you get around. I write most of my stuff on the guitar tho, and the tempos and everything are so, so different...
I have no idea what I'm writing, really...

I've turning 18 tomorrow, and chances are, it's gonna be a sucky day. i never enjoy my birthdays anyway, unless things happen to change so drmatically this time around. The fact is, you're so obsessed with trying to enjoy yourself that you try too hard, birthdays are such an arbitrary construct giving me so much pressure to want to enjoy it, which is ironic 'coz I never enjoy it. In fact I dont' think I've enjoyed any of my birthdays except for the singing and clapping hands and all that, 'cuz you want the day to be special and more often than not u're left disappointed. In fact I'd rather let life surprise me, to find joy in the most unusual of days, in this context. Like Wen en put it, "anticipation is often defeated by reality." quite true quite true. Life is ironic anyway. Its God's way of reminding us about our real place in the world in a humourous sense, I guess.


Oh and my pool's getting better, too. The secret, really, is to get behind the ball to shoot. Haha.

Listening to sun yanzi now. Chinese music and english music are again two totally different constructs, but that's another issue...