Just one question: Does one write music better when one is sleepy, in a little haze, like Jimi hendrix puts it 'Purple haze'? A drug spell, like Coleridge's 'Kublai Klan'? Or should we at least concentrate? Just to ponder...

Tired, real tired. Ben and jerry's ice cream is lovely, music is great, and the next song is going to be a better song than the previous one. That's the philosophy.

Boy, tired. hopefully arsenal wins. haha.

I don't know why but this life of online communication is disturbing indeed, and if that's the way the new technological generation is going to be, I'd rather not be in it. Simply put, the nuances are all gone. We could use all sorts of gestures, such as *wink*, or 'haha' as opposed to 'hahahahaa' to reflect a bit the way we are thinking/feeling, but it gives only a small picture of the way we really are. Of course this accusation of the internet as being 'fake' has been there since day 1, but it strikes me as how true that really is. I mean, when you're talking to an RGS person as opposed to an SCGS, or an MGS person, or an RI person from an AC person, you're talking worlds apart here, and over the internet, it all seems the same. It's mass production at work, and it's distasteful. And it's too bloddy convenient. People can seem happy when really they're crying inside, or rage when they're really quite happy. All that inauthencity is gone. Maybe they'll come up with video conferencing as a regular feature next time, but then I'll have another grouse. We shall see.

Oh and I just realised I was quite an 'early blogger', having had a blog since July 2001 or something when it came into fashion, at this page in Diaryland, but now I've moved to blogspot. Oh well. And now everyone's into this blog thing. It makes the net a lil' more interesting than it is already I suppose.

had some fun at darren's playing badminton and some more jamming. i'm really bored but this proved worthy of a little entertainment. I've been listening to lots of mariah carey and it's really such a pity she has descended to such a state, i mean, she was such a star, all her singles except 4 reached number one, and her voice on 'Vision of love' and all her early stuff was so good, and now it's just a thin wisp and filled with a nasal overtone. And sigh her new image is more sex-slave ala britney than anything, eroding her core MOR fan base, and not gaining any new ones either, 'coz she's probably too inauthentic for anyone's liking. And it's really really sad because her songs were good, especially 'one sweet day' which was really the song that made me start listening to english music, can u believe it, a crossover from cheena pop. Oh well. Been downloading disney songs as well, such as 'beauty and the beast' and 'under the sea', coz it's well, great melodies and great songs. Oh, well, i probably can't write something like that, but well, perhaps in 20 years time when I'm old and mature maybe i could. i hope.

Today was fun fun. Played some tennis, tho i really sucked. must've been something to do with my grip it keeps slipping out. went for lunch with daryl and michele before bunking off to quek's for some jamming and meeting up with ol' friends, and it was fun fun fun. Everyone's just so bored anyway it just takes a little spark to get it going. I wrote a lil' bridge for his song which is not bad and we recorded it with the acoustic guitars (Oh did I tell you I got my simon and patrick?...It's pretty cool stuff, nicely done and all that with great feel, and a bright clear tone esp on the high registers that's pretty sweet....)which was nice coz my S&P did a nice contrast with his Yamaha, his guitar supplying the lower edges while mine took care of the higher tinkles of the acoustic. jeremy also came along, we played a lil' warcraft, talked a lil' bit, good stuff good stuff. okay. need to do it more. need to study too. argh.

haha

Strains of melancholy are enveloping me again, a mixture of warmth, sadness and a bit of heartfelt longing. i need to wrap people up in cottton wool. I'm a complex lover with no one to love or to care for. I wanna take you back to those trees and that little garden, a paradise to call our own, where the grasses might even know our names. Unfortunately that you I long to whisk away is just a fragment of complicated me.
It's a pity, really.
There were no magical heights after all, were they? They were just an imagination of what might have become. If only.
It's rich, and intense, and laced with a bit of blackcurrent and all sorts of complex flavours that are mellow and earthly. It's that melancholy I need, those rich, dark, deep flavourings to accompany 'Autumn'. I need songs that are filled with the myriad of different colours that appear like flavours in wine in a song. Autumn has been described as having shades of 'orange and purple, breaking into green...' or something like that. Interesting... It's that intensity that keeps me going.

Am really exhausted, and a little ill, hopefully it isn't SARS. Yesterday and today have been really maniac, which is nice in a sense in comparison to the humdrum of thurs/fri. Yesterday was the music practise for today's service, when i was supposed to play the piano, for the first time, and after that it was cell, which was quite alright. it's always nice in some way. at least it was interactive. I got real pissed about something but after reading the Bible and praying things started to change. God has been absent in my life for quite a bit with all the computer games and it was nice I wanted Him back where He belongs. Ahhh. So after lots of prayer i guess i started wearing some qualities of God again. And He always seems to speak to me alot in my Quiet Time, when it suddenly hits me that what the book is saying is speaking to me directly, and is really actually telling me something about my own life, which is quite fascinating considering the book is published for a worldwide audience, and still remains so so relevant. It's amazing. Thank You. 'Obedience, not good intentions, matter'. Ahhh maybe that's right.

Got into a melancholic streak last night too, as I thought about the times I had, the missed opportunities, the longing, that yearning, for a strange scent of love, and all that rubbish that belonged, really, to my J1 year. All that melancholy and self-pity and all that. Heartbreaking stuff. That's why perhaps 'Autumn' resonated so strongly in my heart last year, with poor old lovelorn me. But that's a past now. The song is still a favourite, but then things have moved on. I have to grow spiritually now, and mature a little. things are in my hands. i wanna be happy. i wanna feel joy. And to love. And to love others. And to be loved. I want to know my Maker more and to love Him more, more often, not just sporadically in church and stuff. I guess it's possible, really?

But today was quite a whizz and a bang. It started off with my playing the piano in service, and thank God, everything went really well actually. My fingers were alright, i was playing near my best, you know the little nitty-gritties were ironed out relatively well (except one transistion but who cares), and i was relatively relaxed and not-so-nervous. Also the 'shawn' style seemed to flow out quite naturally. but well it was a tiring schedule, 3 medleys, with connectings for each of them. sigh....ah well. service.

Went to sentosa after that and it was quite a whirl too, wif the church friends. the sun was really hot and the sky all blue and clear, which made for a really hot day. we did volleyball, and ultimate frisbee, as well as paddling to the little raft in the middle of a lagoon for a little sun-tanning. was too hot, really, and i'm a little headachy now coz of the intense sun shining down on you the whole afternoon, but it was fun, nevertheless. An interesting point was the little posing we did under a particular coconut tree with Sam's digi-cam, trying to capture the sun on the person's face as well as the sky, almost like a professional photographer. it made us all look like hunks, even me. Now isn't that saying something.

Oh well i'm really tired now.
But hope everyone has a good holiday, and i betta not catch sars.=)