i do not create music, i merely discover the treasures that already existed.
holst is brilliant, the planets, the orchestration and everything, simply sublime, the differing tone colours and the sheer eclectism of it, the mysticism that flows through each 'planet', the jupiter hymn, the 5/4 time of mars, ah. syo. it was good eh.
i'm writing a symphonic tone poem now, just gathering little themes here and there: it's supposed to be a blueprint of a life cycle, from the unformed mass of youth to the rhythmic jazz of modern life, to getting old and dying: but it's only into the 2nd minute of completion. the thing about classical music is that you have to place much more thought into orchestration, into note placing, it's not just lyrics and chords, but the sounds are important, the consonance, the dissonance, etc. it's supposed to have basically 4 sections, with differing themes. hopefully its' good.

i still can't get over what happened but i believe You have a plan and may something good come out of all of this, according to Your glorious will, amen.

and i'm really tired now, it's nicer this way. just to rest. pure rest.