I'm beginning to enjoy Combo Band. I enjoy it more when I'm playing the piano, I guess, because I'm playing more things than silly full chords with the synthesizer to mimic strings, which is, frankly speaking, boring. i hope cpt jaffar etc. aren't reaading this. it will be too politically incorrect. i mean, the worse thing is, the roland is really off in terms of key and stuff. i always have a feeling it's somewhat off in its intonation, but it might be just me. i mean, it just doesnt' sound right, maybe because i don't know how to use it. in any way the strings really sound off. why can't they just get a korg or something. the strings are so much more, stringy.

i mean good strings have to be, full (you gotta hear the chord), unobtrusive (no jagged sounds, etc, no piercing high ends), rounded and mellow, and atmospheric. i mean. it's gotta have that sheen, that warmth and depth as well, while not being overpowering. hard to find the right combination, i guess.

but when i close my eyes and delve into the music, songs like the malay ones 'pintu ke terkaker' etc. and 'lean on me' etc. are really nice sometimes. nice to play with a band, and appreciate all the little chords.

and the thing is, i need a girlfriend. why?? because when all the guys are in the army, girls are the only ones available. and not only that, that's just a peripheral point. i mean, girls are there not just for the fun, but a gf will truly understand you and be a nice pillar of support and a kinda conversation partner, a soulmate so to speak. because sometimes in NS, away from social groups, it can get somewhat lonely, and I just need somewhat to speak with, about what i'm thinking, the day's happenings, the future, the past, and share feelings with.

i'm trying not to be mushy.


=)

layout's changed.

Happy easter to all.

God, in His infinite mercy, is slowly eroding away my hard shell that has developed around me, and showing me love and peace. Thank you. slowly i shall come to understand, fully, and not go back to sinful, angry feelings. The life of a Christian is one of peace, love, and kindness, a slow life of 'others first, I'm last', not this 'go and seek out pleasure and be the best in everything'. It is, 'but for the grace of God am I', and 'I have completed the race' in humble dependence on God, and not, 'I can do everything by myself'. And if I am to understand that, then it is not the world's standards I should be ascribing to, but Yours. Then why am I so hard-up, O Lord?? For fun and all, when everything I need is in You?

For Jesus died for my sins. And Jesus You had to endure the cruelest thing of all, not just the pain and the torture, but seperation from Your loving Father, as You cried out 'Why has Thou forsaken Me?' You were forsaken, when I should have been forsaken. Thank You, God, for sending Jesus down for us.

So please heal me please heal me please heal me and help me...

T. D. Jakes' song 'Mercy saw me' is really inspirational. 'The justice of God saw what I had done, but Mercy saw me through the Son, not what I was but what I could be, that's how mercy saw me'.

Save me.