come on conscious decision come on conscious efforts come on considering each thought and submitting it to Christ; come on, take that leap of faith when things go bad and things all seem to go wrong and submit it to Christ and trust your friend your lover your Saviour who has brought you out of the storm before and WILL and CAN and WILL DO "immeasurably more than you can hope for OR imagine". trust trust trust. when things go wrong, trust trust trust. believe. believe believe. it will be alright. god is faithful.
and sometimes i feel like throwing up. coz sometimes i know there are things that i can do. thigns that i know i can do. but im just unable to execute. or osmetimes i feel bad about doing well. i feel that somehow im going into that slippery slope of pride again and soon i may lose control and feel i dont need God and leave my God or something like that thinking i can make it on my own but i cant i know i cant im lonely and my soul cries out for the living God once in a while. bleagh. i wish it were more often. they always say souls cry out to God but mine hasnt been crying out too often. i wonder why. is there too much going on in my life???? that sometimes God is out of the picture? or that im ujst procrastiaingt and wasting my life as it goes by?
coz i know that i can do great things. or be good. or be a success. or be good. or be the life of the party or the smart kid on the block. but im afraid, afraid to go in, scared that success (in any form) will bring me to pride and let my head grow big that i leave my god or feel i dont need him or anyone else's advice. it's a sad life, this conundrum. so i stagger along in my mediocrity, thinking that perhaps the onyl reason i need god is so that he can lead me out of my mediocrity into success and happiness; whats wrong with me? why cant i love god for God's sake instead of what he can do for me? (ie that way i dont have to stay in my mediocrity so that i will need god and not push him aside and actually take more success and fulfil lthe god given potential) . why why cant i do that? Jesus help me Lord please - to love You for Your own sake.
this is a nice song:
Watching the people get lairy
Is not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
And not very sensible either
A friend of a friend he got beaten
He looked the wrong way at a policeman
Would never have happened to Smeaton
And old Leodiensian
La-ah-ah, la la lalala la
Ah-ah-ah, la la lalala la
I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I tried to get in my taxi
A man in a tracksuit attacked me
He said that he saw it before me
Wants to get things a bit gory
Girls run around with no clothes on
To borrow a pound for a condom
If it wasn't for chip fat, well they'd be frozen
They're not very sensible
La-ah-ah, la la lalala la
Ah-ah-ah, la la lalala la
I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot
And if there's anybody left in here
That doesn't want to be out there
Watching the people get lairy
Is not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
And not very sensible
La-ah-ah, la la lalala la
Ah-ah-ah, la la lalala la
I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot