Wrote an interesting piano-based song which I felt was pretty good, but then again I always feel the songs are good until the next day, when they then sound like crap. But this one will probably last a while. I wrote lyrics for a chicago-styled song that was written(tune) some time back also.
But jamming at darren's again was fun. haha. it's like a re-emergence into consciousness. I'm content and I don't need to be so high or so low but the middle's a nice place to be. Music is nice and a day of music and rhythms and beats is even nicer. Vertical horizon and all. lovely stuff. YOu know, music's fun. just being fun and letting it out. and I've started singing again, and appreciating the lyrics and how they all fit into a song and the emotions and all. performing and emoting.
sorry i'm not being articulate.
you know what is blogging a good idea after all. sometimes i feel it's really bad because one can never relive it and then the blog just makes one want to remember it and sometimes we're walking around with our eyes on our back.
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Sunday, May 04, 2003
How can we come to see God if we still persist in remaining big, in remaining ourselves, in keeping us full of that pride and arrogance? Let's be small little me. We're too small and insignificant anyway to change the ways of the universe. We can't move a tree by ourselves, not to mention arrange the stars. We're price takers. So please remove it. Insignificance is wonderful since the pressures of being so 'big' and thinking oneself as being so big is too burdensome for me to endure.
And I have to realise that, since everything becomes so much better. I can focus on God without focusing on myself. I can converse and be interested in others without being interested in myself. more of You and less of me.Because we don't see the real meaning of this life, being ignorant. All our riches are filthy rags.
And I've realised that our most minor flaw that we tend to overlook easily might be our biggest stumbling block.
--
Really I was extremely burnt out today, having had a full full day of all-sorts-of-activities, from lots of music practice to SATs1 plus cell group and worship yesterday, which meant lying in bed was a joy to behold, and boy can't I wait to go back there. I started dreaming, though, of people again, of my old AC life, of being kiddish and boyish, of a computer gaming shop that frequently emerges that is housed in a building that looks like Cineleisure, [which is often paired up with a paragon-styled building], of being with AC pple, running around orchard and all that, of going out, of doing all sorts of crazy things, of even doing standing-broad-jump for NAPFA tests and trying to raise the knees (which didn't really work), hanging out with my friend's class, and running around with girls.
Oh well. what a crazy life. What a crazy dream. That's what I wanted it to be anyway, but now it's gone, gone, so long.
The world's so big anyway and so complicated, and it's impossible for one to understand everything, so I'd rather just observe it from afar and see the little differences and similarities of it all, and be just a little speck in the great scheme of life.
And I have to realise that, since everything becomes so much better. I can focus on God without focusing on myself. I can converse and be interested in others without being interested in myself. more of You and less of me.Because we don't see the real meaning of this life, being ignorant. All our riches are filthy rags.
And I've realised that our most minor flaw that we tend to overlook easily might be our biggest stumbling block.
--
Really I was extremely burnt out today, having had a full full day of all-sorts-of-activities, from lots of music practice to SATs1 plus cell group and worship yesterday, which meant lying in bed was a joy to behold, and boy can't I wait to go back there. I started dreaming, though, of people again, of my old AC life, of being kiddish and boyish, of a computer gaming shop that frequently emerges that is housed in a building that looks like Cineleisure, [which is often paired up with a paragon-styled building], of being with AC pple, running around orchard and all that, of going out, of doing all sorts of crazy things, of even doing standing-broad-jump for NAPFA tests and trying to raise the knees (which didn't really work), hanging out with my friend's class, and running around with girls.
Oh well. what a crazy life. What a crazy dream. That's what I wanted it to be anyway, but now it's gone, gone, so long.
The world's so big anyway and so complicated, and it's impossible for one to understand everything, so I'd rather just observe it from afar and see the little differences and similarities of it all, and be just a little speck in the great scheme of life.