Happy easter to all.

God, in His infinite mercy, is slowly eroding away my hard shell that has developed around me, and showing me love and peace. Thank you. slowly i shall come to understand, fully, and not go back to sinful, angry feelings. The life of a Christian is one of peace, love, and kindness, a slow life of 'others first, I'm last', not this 'go and seek out pleasure and be the best in everything'. It is, 'but for the grace of God am I', and 'I have completed the race' in humble dependence on God, and not, 'I can do everything by myself'. And if I am to understand that, then it is not the world's standards I should be ascribing to, but Yours. Then why am I so hard-up, O Lord?? For fun and all, when everything I need is in You?

For Jesus died for my sins. And Jesus You had to endure the cruelest thing of all, not just the pain and the torture, but seperation from Your loving Father, as You cried out 'Why has Thou forsaken Me?' You were forsaken, when I should have been forsaken. Thank You, God, for sending Jesus down for us.

So please heal me please heal me please heal me and help me...

T. D. Jakes' song 'Mercy saw me' is really inspirational. 'The justice of God saw what I had done, but Mercy saw me through the Son, not what I was but what I could be, that's how mercy saw me'.

Save me.