Today was great! i am amazed by His favour and mercy and by the little lessons God's teaching me as his child.

it didn't start off very well. i sinned quite a bit. and it was really bad on the way home; the torture was killing me, the soul torture.
i thank You that in Your infinite mercy You still found me. even though i was stained with so many countless sins.
i was still and quiet, and recalling my day, and then i suddenly realised the important lesson you wanted to teach me.
it was that You wanted me to be humble. too often i've taken pride in my own achievements, in being an NCO in army, in being a capable person in a land where most people dont have great academic credentials, on being a good musician and stuff-- yet God told me to be humble. before this my soul was totally a mess, restless, weak, and all that, but once it suddenly dawned on me to be humble, suddenly i felt this peace, that was allowing me to rest in Him. the Holy Spirit was telling me the Father's will which was to tell me to be humble. it's only in humility that we can come before the Lord. and because i was humble God did help me to find that treasure again. i thank You Lord for that, though You are the biggest treasure.

at quiet time i was just reflecting on Jesus as my friend. Jesus as my shepherd. Jesus as my best friend. i could just talk to Him in a personal way and thanking Him for dying on the cross. just confessing that He is the Son of God and that He is Lord. and then i was praying to the Father; please reveal yourself to me and may I be known by You. and something stirred in my heart and reminded me to be humble. God wants me to be humble, in my workplace, in my life. and that's what i'm going to do. especially starting tomorow in the work place. in my mind were images of a slice of heaven. not sure if i saw colours it was all a bit fuzzy but maybe saw Jesus praying for me, Jesus at the right hand of God. thank you Lord. almost out-of-body peace was great. the Holy Spirit was definitely there in my heart, i could feel it. i don't know but sometimes i'm always wondering if i am truly truly saved. but you know, with all these lessons my Father's teaching me to become more like Jesus, who was so humble, there is little doubt.

i used to be plagued by mental insecurities and fear of Satan and fear of blasphemising my loving God, but just now at quiet time there was just that peace. i am thankful for that.

and i just pray that it'll last. it has been one of the best days of the month! July 14th! thank You Lord for loving me.

the one fundemental truth i've also learnt is that Jesus loves me! Lord Jesus you love me that's one of the most profound truths and yet it's so simple. Jesus Son of God loves me. thank You. You have defeated the evil one and there is no return now!

yay.