I have been struggling with my salvation; whether or not it is real, whether or not it is really true, whether Christ Jesus in heaven has truly saved me. I have accepted Christ Jesus a million times. it's in the score of the hundreds now. I have thought thoughts that I thought would have made me leave his kingdom or be thrown out, and I have tried my best, so hard, to suppress these thoughts, so that I won't get thrown out.

This few weeks I have been going to JESUS alot in trying to talk to Him about my problem. Everytime He assures me, I write it down in my 'notes' on the Iphone. It's amazing how it reminds you. But then satan throws his stupid darts again and i sink in misery. and Despair. I want to write down, here, what Jesus told me so that I won't forget. And give myself assurance.

January 24:
"Jesus said to me that He will keep me safe, that I'm already saved - and He will keep me safe - have faith to believe this.
I looked up at the clouds and I believed that I was saved - having just said the sinners prayer (i told you, it's umpteen times). And then I heard the LORD JESUS say that "I chose you" (He chose me) and also said to put the helmet of salvation on. AMEN"

That's what I wrote. But then I forget, as always.

January 26:
"Jesus said to me that I'm already saved, and to put the helmet on."

This was yesterday, January 31:
"Jesus just spoke to me - as the Father has chosen him as His son and anointed one sasying "Today I have become your Father, you are my son", so the JESUS has chosen me and appointed me - I'm his; and he commands me to put my helmet on :) GOD loves me - and Christ will keep me by the power of His name - my helmet is on."

And this is like from last week till today (I've just jot it down here):
"The Lord Jesus told me in His love to just let the thoughts go - so I'll let it go and not respond to it.
Today He told me to keep my helmet on. I was disobedient but He said it again in strong love, so I'll do it, my helmet is on."

This was a thought that I had while on the way from work:
"Jesus is sovereign - I do my part - to put my helmet on; He does His part, to keep me safe forever."
And today I read a very useful article which I'll share with you, and I wrote this on the note:
"The helmet is the certainty of salvation, the blessed assurance, not a longing uncertain hope. For it is written "I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him upon that day".
For he told me today that "No one shall snatch them (that includes me, SHAWN POON) out of My hand".

And then I wrote again, on Sunday at ARPC service:
"Christ told me to put my helmet on - two times - and since He is the final prophet I must listen to Him, I will listen. Jesus told me that He died for me and for everyone in the church, and I'm HIS. And I just asked the Spirit to help me to obey Christ the final prophet."

And today having used google, I came up with these two wonderful websites that gave me more assurance, giving me verses from the Bible, and removing my befuddled thinking with the truth.
http://www.aboundingjoy.com/sw-security.htm
http://www.aboundingjoy.com/sw-security.htm
http://www.aboundingjoy.com/sw-helmet-fs.htm
Yeah I hope for anyone of you in the struggle, this may help. Thanks. For our enemy is devious and has destroyed me quite badly, and I don't want the same to happen to you. For there is seriously no joy there, so as I went down, don't go down with me. I'll be up again because GOD will bring me up.