Yay! econs S is over! woo hoo, can celebrate now!

But really it's been a rather crappy day today...though I'm already all tired. Hanging around with 3 different groups: daryl/nat, calvin/lijing/ken, dinky/eleena...sigh, it's so weird. Just feel like a retard, i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am i doing here, i don't belong here. no wonder that song became an anthem. It's like, people talk and i just can't relate, just can't chip in, got nothing to say, just don't care what they're saying, just don't need to care what they're saying. It's like people do/say things for social leverage/clout and all they wanna do is to push themselves up the ladder to make themselves more attractive to women, or to make themselves more 'well-liked' and all that. heck man, i've had enough of that. goodness, i'm WHO i am, because of who I am, and heck i've made a living out of being stupid and doing stupid things and acting stupid in my life, i like it that way. it's so attractive to become me, i think. not that anyone really agrees. no one really bothers. concerned abt their image, all of us are. image-consciousness kills: it means that really all we do is to filter someone through that proxy called their physique: if that physique is good, everything will flow: otherwise it's all rubbish. and i'm tired of laughing at someone else's jokes and all that: no one laughs at mine anyway. and so i'm tired of humouring people, why don't all of ya humour me?

crap i soudn very angsty. blogging really builds that up in you. i was going to say something nice, that what i really want is just pure, natural human relations, and really that's what i somewhat have, and that's all i need, no need for the social clout, the political leverage, yadayada, it's all retarded rubbish, that is. the problem is that sometimes the things others do affect us, when it shouldn't, really. if not all we really do is to please others, and that's the most retarded thing i've heard.