God once asked Peter (in the Bible) "Do you love me more than these?". It's a really pertinent question to apply to my life as well. alot of times i inadvertantly lose sight of the PERMANENT and UNCHANGABLE fact that God is and always will be the centre of my life, and that creates alot of problems. because when things that aren't made to be God become God, then the whole system is skewed and messed up, because God didn't intend those things (they can be anything, i'm just saying) to be the centre. and when those things become the centre you can never enjoy them anymore, because they then become almost God-like and you are destroyed by the guilt that the Spirit puts inside of you that you are putting something above God. and so it's lose-lose. you don't put God first, which you should really do, and then you don't enjoy anything, because your life is just a sporadic clinging-on to something that is not meant to be clung on to, in that aspect, but is meant to just be enjoyed whenever it comes. and it will come.

so it's not so good. so help me God. please.


i will love you God more than any of these things. purify my heart so I may see you and your glorious will which is always perfect, better than anything else.

and i have to stop judging people. i realised that God made us all differently. even though we will in the end be like Christ, that's the moral aspect; we are still created differently, just as we have different names and different traits. and so i have to really empathise and understand everyone else and where they are coming from, instead of trying to force my agenda upon them, or trying to convert them, or change them to what i would like of them. i have rather to respect our differences and respect the fact that I am made differently. and to develop in all areas. to do my best. not to be tired and always so tired and stoned, like a dead person without any life in him. but i have to grow and to be human again. to revitalise myself. to ask God for nourishment and growth. and then will i run the race strong again. for i cannot save myself but He can.

so shall i remind myself.