I just had a great 4-day break, seriously. it's one of the best, for several reasons. i just wish everyday were just as good. thank you Lord.

maundy thursday service was simply brilliant, as mentioned in my previous post. words can't do it justice. i felt truly worshipping and felt my heart being softened. i think in army sometimes your heart gets very cold and rough by all the politiking that's around you and you forget the soft-side that you used to have. i just want that soft-side back. it's Christ Jesus's real physical suffering that expresses truly God's love, and how God watched His son die on the cross and felt the pain and all that that shows we really must mean something to Him, i thought. hmm.

on friday i played soccer early in the morning, for about 4 hours. it was really good exercise, for me tired legs and my tired body needed some exercise. scored a few goals, some were quite nice. rested and chatted with mich for a while on MSN. slept. had family dinner. went to wala's with quek and joel etc for E.I.C which was not bad. a bit smoky, but good fun and company. songs were not bad, though i'm getting quite sick of rock, actually. lol.

saturday was great in the sense that i played tennis early in e morning and chilled out later. the brilliant thing was that the piano was finally tuned! i can't express how grateful i am that it's tuned. eh. because a tuned piano sounds much much better. i can hear the nice blend of chords again. i can hear the tinkling of the keys and not feel so odd 'cuz of an off-note. was tinkling with my bossa nova song that's coming up. on the way, on the way. went to church for music practice. hmms. in the end i was getting tired and things started to go downhill. ah well. sunday and i went to church. rested. went to fort canning park to watch electrico et al perform. only good bands were electrico and eic seriously the rest i dunno what they're doing. lol. wish i could perform too!


hmms. oh wells.

been trying to write Christian music. it's really difficult though. you have to really worship God at the point in time you're writing the song. it's easy to just cough up some verses about God and stuff, but to write a cogent and concise song that tries to bring people before God takes divine inspiration, seriously. i'm still waiting for it, if He wants me to write for Him. oh well.

now to the serious stuff. i'm just saddened by how so many people just live for today. i mean, somehow so many in army just live for the army and their days off are just, well, for them to goof around and have fun. nothing's wrong with that, i was a recruit once, before the days of the comfy 8-to-5 routines. i know how it feels, to be stuck in camp with no place to call home, no freedom, to listen to orders, and all that. it's like your soul being sucked out of you and you have no control over where it's going. and how you have no control over your moods and all, because there is authority, and there is everything. of course it isn't the best time of your life. so everyone wants to have fun when they're out. what really leaves me pondering is, well, what's life all about? surely it isn't just for today right. i mean. if i weren't a Christian i might have been stuck there. i'm not trying to be preachy here. but perhaps everyone should be working towards something. i don't know what it is, but it's pretty saddening to be living for nothing.

it must be the media. about how they tell you you're young and that you should be having fun and all that. well well. it's as though time is going to sneak up on you and one day tell you 'you're too old, be resigned to the living room or the old-mama-senior-citizen's-club' or something. so you hear things like 'you only live once' (which is true) and like you're 18 so you should be like this like this like this. come on, have your own identity. for your own sake. in singapore everyone's the same anyway.

my thoughts are wandering.

i feel sometimes that i'm hidden from others through a veil and that others can't see who i am. it's sad it's sad. i just wish that sometimes i may step out from it and say what i honestly feel and think and maybe i'll be able to connect somehow with the millions of people out there , the beautiful souls that they are.