Sigh. I've been so ridden with confusion the past two days, caught up in a selfish cycle of sin. insecurity. being not under the authority of God through obedience opens up the pathway for the evil one to attack and pose doubts and everything. but only through a new-found obedience which i've learnt again today is the evil one kept at bay. and real peace is again found through God. by faith.
it is faith that really protects me. it's a 'shield of faith'--part of the armour of God. it is God protecting me from the evil one which lurks, and i have faith then that God is good, He's always for me, I'm His Child, again by faith, and that He'll never let me fall. By faith I claim that and claim His protection over my life. in the Bible it was read about those people who had great faith and because of their faith Jesus healed them. So i believe God will do it because I have faith He will do it, according to His will. i used to pray in a mess, keep praying, hoping that God will work, but now i dont have to, because i pray and i know that by faith, He's working, even if i dont see it....and if i don't see it it doesn't mean He's not working~! so yeah. live by faith, all Christians. for it is by faith that we are saved. and so i have faith that the Lord my God is keeping the evil one at bay, protecting me from him, protecting me from Satan whose goal is to destroy me. but in the Lord Jesus i am kept alive. thank you God.

prayer meeting was amazing! now there is again peace in me, and life. the evil one cannot foil Your purposes anymore, Lord. thank you. i can draw near to you in peace. we sang 'knowing You, Jesus, knowing You, there is no greater thing.' and i sincerely believe there is no greater thing than knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.

to live in obedience! because in obedience there is protection from the evil one. and in obedience God is pleased and will bless my life. Lord you told me to go and spread the gospel. let me do that in my department. to bring O back to you. to bring people to your kingdom by my love for them to display your love when i love them i love you Jesus. so let me do that. to live in obedience, not being ashamed of You Lord Jesus, but always proclaiming Your love and Your sacrifice for all men as the only way to God. let me live life in that way. because i can not live for any other. please bless my life Dear Father, Most High God. Saviour. Lord. i live for you.

there's a very simple logic to this. if outwardly i spread the Word and live in obedience to the great commission which is from God, then God is pleased, and i can enjoy an inward good relationship with Him. if outwardly however i dont love, dont do anything, dont do anything at all, live selfishly, God definitely isn't pleased with me, He wont' bless me inwardly. there is a logic about this whole issue. so let me live for the people around me in love.