Hello everyone.

God allows trials sometimes in my life to get me back on the right path. This I thank the Lord for. It is difficult to be totally thankful. you'd ask why. but sometimes, actually most of the time, i haven't been as obedient as i would have liked to be.

putting the Lord Jesus in the centre is something i always try. but sometimes things just distract. alot of things distract. sometimes i'm lacking faith. lacking the patience to see things through, lacking the patience to see that hey the Lord has a wonderful plan for my life and He's just waiting for me to let Him come and take control. and i'm still clinging on to my old stubborn beliefs in the hope that they'd turn up fine, but all the time I know that they won't. i'm sorry you know. i'm really apologetic. i try hard. i'd always put excuses that it's NS, that we're impatient to ORD, but hey discipleship is a life-long thing. doing masterlife and saying 'putting Christ at the centre of our lives' may seem like an easy commitment, but it is certainly difficult. when you have a girlfriend (hypothetically speaking), how do you balance your Christ-centered life with your love for your girl? it says love God first. that's true. but really it takes lots of prayer.

and really sometimes there are so many trials. but i'll be patient. that He'd find a way out. claim the promise that no temptation's too great to bear.


sometimes i even doubt God's faithfulness. i like to base everything on my own feelings, but that's obviously wrong. try as i want to, sometimes you don't feel very close to God at all. sometimes you feel very far. but God's always faithful isn't He. He's governed by His own words and not your own feelings right. sigh. but sometimes we're just looking for God. and yet you read Job and you see that he was 'forsaken' by God for a very long long time. and how bout Abraham that had to wait so long for Isaac. and there's a passage in the Bible that states the whole idea of 'by faith' so many things happened, and many people did not receive what they deserved in the first place but they deserved so much more, something like that. and so i'm going to have the faith that the Lord my Heavenly Father has something better planned for me than this mundane existence. and even if it's not revealed in the way i want it just let me have faith please.

i remembered at the start of the year faith was such a strong theme, i was stressing it to my churchmate and stuff. i was just reading john bevere and the last chapter on obedience was on faith, and i was just thinking, hey, he's so right you know. because without faith you start thinking that God isn't able to do anything, you start thinking that God is just not doing anything. but then He is doing something. It's just that I can't see it with my own eyes, of course! and there was one day when i was praying and the whole idea of faith came in, i was praying for my dad at the time, and i just felt my whole body just being refreshed again. i give thanks for those times. but it's important for me now to have faith. because "without faith it is impossible to please God".


so i will have faith now. whatever trials, temptations, may befall me. but God will deliver me. without trials and temptations (it was funny coz i was flipping the Bible and the verse about trials and temptations developing character just struck) there's no character development. without them we don't grow in our walk with the Lord. we'll just end up stagnant right. we don't rely and depend on Him then, we think we can do it ourselves. but you know what? i don't care what others may do. but I can't do anything without the Lord. i just can't. He's delivered me from so many trials in my life that i don't know what to say to thank Him. but then without those trials i probably wouldn't have abided so much.


you see. sigh.

i humble myself again. i'm sorry all my friends for being weird. you know, it's just a thing. times are a-changing, people leave. but the Lord is forever faithful. All the promises in the Bible were fulfilled, over 500 (if i remember correctly) prophesies about the Lord Jesus Christ's coming were fulfilled. i'm sure my own feelings are totally inadequate to explain the relationship between me and God.