The last few months have been really bad. i mean my mind was plagued by all sorts of spiritual attacks and blasphemies from the enemy and all that. i mean it was really hell. you know what hell is? it's seperation from God (Father/Jesus/Holy Spirit). it's not simply a place where you burn and all that. it's simply a seperation from God. man somehow during that time i felt like that. my faith was so diminished and i was receiving and receiving Jesus again that was really wrong i realised.

and the problem was that i was really disturbed by one passage from Scripture which was about Jesus saying to the people 'away, you wicked people...i don't know you...' and you know what i was just fearing and fearing the Lord and i think that really made things really bad. i think i really just took that verse out of context, since those people that were described weren't true believers, in that sense, whereas I am (and i know that I have experienced Christ in some degree or form to an extent that possibly it's more than just psychological, and I hope that is) and i'm still trying to search and seek after the Lord-- and what i did was to start living by the law, by my works, and not simply believe that i'm already saved by my faith in Jesus the Risen Lord. and so i was just afraid that hey my salvation can be cut off at any point if i don't perform up to expectations. this creates alot of problems. firstly, it creates alot of fear. instead of the spirit of sonship which makes us cry 'Abba Father' in thanks for the free gift of salvation and the true love within towards our Lord Jesus Christ who is in heaven for just doing everything for us (and all we did was receive, we didn't have to do anything), i was bugged with the spirit of fear that left me clinging on to just theological truths and trying my best to conform and be perfect which of course put a strain on my mind and my body because i am never going to be perfect until the Lord takes me home in heaven. so of course my mind started rebelling and screwing up. it is true that sometimes i even 'love' Jesus out of compulsion, because i was reading the shorter catcheism that says that true believers will love Jesus more and more. well, this is because they love Jesus because of what He did on the cross, of His first love for us. well i love Him also when i think about what he did for me, but only thing is that i was scared that i wasn't a true believer because sometimes i don't love him as much as i should. well, this boils down to having no patience. gone was the joy, gone was the peace. the only thing that kept me going was that, oh, i want to go to heaven. i'm sure that the Spirit did indeed guide me along in certain points to tell me that Jesus still loves me as I am (which means i'm a Christian already) and experience God in a certain way.

you know, the doctrine of a 'continual salvation' is certainly certainly wrong. it is simply against Biblical principles and is certainly just a blasphemy designed to remove the joy of Christians in serving Jesus. the word says 'for we are saved by faith alone, and not by works, so that no one can boast'. it says 'for as many as received Him, He gave them the right to become children of God, even to those that believed unto His name.' there are so many passages that say you're saved when you've received. well, i'm sure that's not in question. the only question that is it once and for all?

for no true believer can truly fall because Jesus/God, who is the 'author and perfecter of our faith', will never let them. what is the point of going after other sheep if the sheep in the original pen haven't yet been fully saved? Jesus is love, (for I am convinced that nothing can seperate us (Christians who have received) from the love of God which is in Jesus Christ our Lord) He delights all the time in the right (and not wrong) (for that is what love is), He loves to bring Christians back to the truth, back to Him, He will keep them in His hand, just as He has said in the Word. there is no such thing as, oh, He'd just leave us to die and all that. That isn't love! That's not what a shepherd would do. A shepherd would bring His people back. A shepherd guides them to the right path (which is unto salvation, for what else is right?.)

I think that simply for any Christian who has the Holy Spirit in him the joy of knowing Jesus and being with Him and being with the Father is sufficient for any person to want to draw closer to the Lord and know Him and fellowship with Him because there is simply no greater joy than knowing the risen Lord. backsliden Christians who have sinned against the Lord find it difficult to even live. they are filled with guilt, etc, because they are so far away. they feel cut off from God/Jesus because of their sin, and it's the horrible feelings perhaps that makes them want to come back to the Lord. non-Christians will never feel that, they'd enjoy their sin. for Christians like us, after we sin, man, we just feel a prick in our soul, in our being, as the Holy Spirit tells us we've sinned against God, and then we go back and ask for forgiveness and feel the restoration in our souls. (okay this is very man-centric but you get the idea i'm going through) okay this isn't very Bibilical but just from experience.

the only thing about this is that the Holy Spirit will naturally bring us to obedience to the Lord and soften our spirit and keep us submissive to Jesus, to the Father, as we sanctify ourselves and yield to the Holy Spirit. but we have to yield to the Spirit if we really want to be sanctifed, of course, which is what Jesus wants and that's what we want of course.


i don't know man, please enlighten me, more developed Christians in the Lord!?