if i were the evil one, the way i would stop christians growing is to stop them from reading the bible, the Word of God. i would trick them into using their feelings to discern God, or something; well, while we are not totally intellectual beings devoid of feeling, the feelings must be based on the word of God, for it is extremely easy to think of things that aren't there, or easy to feel. the Word of God says that "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9)" - and it is so easy to be lead astray by all sorts of thoughts.
i prayed to the Lord last night, and i was reminded that even the Lord didn't use his own logic to fight the devil, when he was tempted; nor did he use his own reasoning to go against what others say, he just quoted the word of God, and of course was so familiar with it.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Putting the helmet of salvation is very difficult.
my mind is plagued by the devil.
this is his way of making me useless for GOD by making me worried about my salvation all the time.
but Jesus tells me to put the helmet on, and i must. i must trust.
i will keep praying to the LORD for his strength to help me trust Him and his promises, simply to take Him at his word.
thanks aunty yh for sharing; really appreciated that.
now it's remembering.
it's easy to forget, especially when life is against you.
or when you are in the doldrums of your life.
my mind is plagued by the devil.
this is his way of making me useless for GOD by making me worried about my salvation all the time.
but Jesus tells me to put the helmet on, and i must. i must trust.
i will keep praying to the LORD for his strength to help me trust Him and his promises, simply to take Him at his word.
thanks aunty yh for sharing; really appreciated that.
now it's remembering.
it's easy to forget, especially when life is against you.
or when you are in the doldrums of your life.
Putting the helmet of salvation is very difficult.
my mind is plagued by the devil.
this is his way of making me useless for GOD by making me worried about my salvation all the time.
but Jesus tells me to put the helmet on, and i must. i must trust.
i will keep praying to the LORD for his strength to help me trust Him and his promises, simply to take Him at his word.
thanks aunty yh for sharing; really appreciated that.
now it's remembering.
it's easy to forget, especially when life is against you.
or when you are in the doldrums of your life.
my mind is plagued by the devil.
this is his way of making me useless for GOD by making me worried about my salvation all the time.
but Jesus tells me to put the helmet on, and i must. i must trust.
i will keep praying to the LORD for his strength to help me trust Him and his promises, simply to take Him at his word.
thanks aunty yh for sharing; really appreciated that.
now it's remembering.
it's easy to forget, especially when life is against you.
or when you are in the doldrums of your life.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
How to play pop piano (properly)
[the author of this article, which is me, of course, used to play pop piano in the civil defence band, and in church bands and outside bands. he writes songs which can be found at www.myspace.com/shawnpoon and recently wrote a musical.]
It seems a bit pretentious to be writing an article about, this funny queer topic of, how to play pop piano. Simply because plenty has been written on it, and I don't pretend to be an expert in it although I do believe myself capable of playing quite reasonably well. So here's some things i feel happy to pass on to you, my readers, in the hope that you may discover the joy of playing pop piano well.
its the chords, silly!
Unlike classical music, most of the time you are given chords to accompany a song, which probably states something like C, F, Bm, Em, blah blah, and sometimes you get the occassional Absus4 or a Em7b5.....and so, you're supposed to play the chord along with the melody, when your'e playing pop piano, that's what we all know. but how do we do it?
1. Decide whether you want to play the melody with it, or not.
Usually, when you accompany a singer, you often don't want to play the melody, because you'd be doubling up with what she is doing, and then you're occupying the same frequency, and then people cannot really hear the purity of her voice/melodic line without your noisy piano accompaniment playing the same thing. so, if you're playing with a singer, don't double the melody line (ie dont play the melody line). play a chord variation in the right hand instead. when you're playing solo, however, without a singer, then of course you play the melody. but you don't have to play ONLY the melody in the right hand - what i mean is, let's say a song like "don't look back in anger" and the chorus goes "so sally can wait" - which is G - F- G - F - E .....with a C chord moving to g; you don't want to just paly that G F G F E on the right hand with a C chord moving to G on the left hand because it'll sound really empty for a chorus, so you want to texturise it by playing a chord (LH) C - G (RH) C-E-G (with the melody being the highest most note of the chord), and then moving down to (in the right hand: B/D/F- B/D/G - B/D/F - C/E (change chord to Am)) - in the way you get some texturre in the right hand also.
And usually when playing the melody, it's often palyed louder than the rest of the accompaniment; so when you are playing the melody make it louder;
2. Decide on the accompaniment style
There are many ways of playing chords, such as:
a) broken chords (ie arpeggios)
b) chordal , block chords
e) a mixture of both
d) right hand chordal, left hand broken chords...
and so how do you decide?
well, it's all about the song.
think about it - do you want the song to have long, flowy accompaniments, or do you want it stately? for example, a song like "your song" (elton john) will have quite an arpeggio-like accompaniment because it is a rather flowy piece - whereas a hymn would have stately block chords. it often depends on whether you want to accentutate the beat - whether you want the strong to have a strong beat or not - whether you want it stately, or you want it flowing. if you want it flowing, then play more broken chords, arpeggioes, to make it seem like the sense of time is elastic and, that, it diminishes the 'count' of the beat since every beat is divided into so much more; if you want it stately, however, play the chords at regular intervals, on the beat. jay chou for example is a good example, since his songs such as 'feng' or 'an jing' all have right hand chords that are played on the beat for the stately effect.
3. Decide on the rhythmic accents/emphasis
this is relevant in R n B songs for example: sometimes weird accents accentuated with a chord adds to the excitement of playing an R n b song on the piano. for example, jason derulo's "whatcha say" has much syncopation - if you hear the song, the drums are very syncopated and irregular - and a good piano player will be able to recapture the irregular syncopations of the song by mimiking the drums on the piano, by playing, for example: boom, cha, - boom - cha - cha - cha.....(how to explain rhythms, oh well) - it's really about mimiking the drums, and the beatboxes, for example, with a piano.
if it's jazz, for example, then there are the different accents as well: one example is chick corea's spain - where there are leading beats (accents before the main beats) - syncopations, etc. basically, feel the beat, and move your hands with the beat and you'll be fine.
4. Decide on the chord voicings.
chord voicings are very numerous: often when its a major chord, you have the choice of playing (1-5) with the left hand or (1-3) or (1-3-5), and the right hand will fill up the gaps, usually maybe with (1-3), or (1-5), or (3-5).... and the choice often depends on what the song needs. for example, jay chou's feng starts off with a (5-1) on the right hand, x 4, for the first chord, before it changes to a (1-5) on the dominant chord for the next 4 beats.
to put it simply:
Feng (C)
C | G | F | C| F|.....
thats the verse right...
so hows the chords played:
its something like:
on the C chord it's
(Left hand) C - E -G ; right hand is playing G-C (c being the highest note)
before moving on on the G chord to:
(left hand) B - D - G; right hand is playing (G - D) (d being the highest note)...
and moving on to the F:
(left hand) A - C - F; right hand is playing (F - C) (c being the highest note)...
but either way the entire notes make up the chord; but you could have so easily voiced it so many different ways. you could have simply voiced it:
C - E - G: right hand playing C - E, with e BEING the highest...
or so on.
so really it's a matter of preference; but usually the trick is the song. it is supposed to fit the song, so if the melody line is: C C C C G C D D D D E D G (that is feng, btw): then jay chou's instincts is to play the c as the highest, since the c note forms the melody line; and in the next chord, it's to play the d as the highest note. so most of the time the song will determine the voicings, but of course, creative freedom allows us to play anything so long as it sounds good. so try what fits! one of the tricks, though, is not to have too much movement between chords, since, it's nice if the notes flow to each other nicely, as though the piano was a choir, and it's nice if the voices move smoothly from one to another rather than jumping all over the place.
5. It's about the touch
the touch is very important: most amateurs play all the notes the same way, but then there are many things you can do to a piano. while unlike a guitar/violin - ie you dont control the strings, you can do a few things: control the timing of the note, the loudness of the note, and the quickness/fullness that you hit the note. so, follow the melody line, make the melody line sing. most of the time, a singer will not sing all the notes in the same volume, so vary your piano playing the way the singer will vary the loudness/softness of the melodic line. and another trick is to use little 'slurs', which are little piano "pull-offs", ie one note is quickly transferred to another note to give the impresion that that note is leaning to the other note.
another trick is to play the notes together, one at a time, but leaving the last note on as the next note hits the keys - so you get a little blurring effect. (of course, just a bit is good).
sometimes you want the gentle touch for a gentle song, so try to smoothly feel your way into the keys for that effect.
That's all for now. i'll write more when i think of more things.
thanks!
[the author of this article, which is me, of course, used to play pop piano in the civil defence band, and in church bands and outside bands. he writes songs which can be found at www.myspace.com/shawnpoon and recently wrote a musical.]
It seems a bit pretentious to be writing an article about, this funny queer topic of, how to play pop piano. Simply because plenty has been written on it, and I don't pretend to be an expert in it although I do believe myself capable of playing quite reasonably well. So here's some things i feel happy to pass on to you, my readers, in the hope that you may discover the joy of playing pop piano well.
its the chords, silly!
Unlike classical music, most of the time you are given chords to accompany a song, which probably states something like C, F, Bm, Em, blah blah, and sometimes you get the occassional Absus4 or a Em7b5.....and so, you're supposed to play the chord along with the melody, when your'e playing pop piano, that's what we all know. but how do we do it?
1. Decide whether you want to play the melody with it, or not.
Usually, when you accompany a singer, you often don't want to play the melody, because you'd be doubling up with what she is doing, and then you're occupying the same frequency, and then people cannot really hear the purity of her voice/melodic line without your noisy piano accompaniment playing the same thing. so, if you're playing with a singer, don't double the melody line (ie dont play the melody line). play a chord variation in the right hand instead. when you're playing solo, however, without a singer, then of course you play the melody. but you don't have to play ONLY the melody in the right hand - what i mean is, let's say a song like "don't look back in anger" and the chorus goes "so sally can wait" - which is G - F- G - F - E .....with a C chord moving to g; you don't want to just paly that G F G F E on the right hand with a C chord moving to G on the left hand because it'll sound really empty for a chorus, so you want to texturise it by playing a chord (LH) C - G (RH) C-E-G (with the melody being the highest most note of the chord), and then moving down to (in the right hand: B/D/F- B/D/G - B/D/F - C/E (change chord to Am)) - in the way you get some texturre in the right hand also.
And usually when playing the melody, it's often palyed louder than the rest of the accompaniment; so when you are playing the melody make it louder;
2. Decide on the accompaniment style
There are many ways of playing chords, such as:
a) broken chords (ie arpeggios)
b) chordal , block chords
e) a mixture of both
d) right hand chordal, left hand broken chords...
and so how do you decide?
well, it's all about the song.
think about it - do you want the song to have long, flowy accompaniments, or do you want it stately? for example, a song like "your song" (elton john) will have quite an arpeggio-like accompaniment because it is a rather flowy piece - whereas a hymn would have stately block chords. it often depends on whether you want to accentutate the beat - whether you want the strong to have a strong beat or not - whether you want it stately, or you want it flowing. if you want it flowing, then play more broken chords, arpeggioes, to make it seem like the sense of time is elastic and, that, it diminishes the 'count' of the beat since every beat is divided into so much more; if you want it stately, however, play the chords at regular intervals, on the beat. jay chou for example is a good example, since his songs such as 'feng' or 'an jing' all have right hand chords that are played on the beat for the stately effect.
3. Decide on the rhythmic accents/emphasis
this is relevant in R n B songs for example: sometimes weird accents accentuated with a chord adds to the excitement of playing an R n b song on the piano. for example, jason derulo's "whatcha say" has much syncopation - if you hear the song, the drums are very syncopated and irregular - and a good piano player will be able to recapture the irregular syncopations of the song by mimiking the drums on the piano, by playing, for example: boom, cha, - boom - cha - cha - cha.....(how to explain rhythms, oh well) - it's really about mimiking the drums, and the beatboxes, for example, with a piano.
if it's jazz, for example, then there are the different accents as well: one example is chick corea's spain - where there are leading beats (accents before the main beats) - syncopations, etc. basically, feel the beat, and move your hands with the beat and you'll be fine.
4. Decide on the chord voicings.
chord voicings are very numerous: often when its a major chord, you have the choice of playing (1-5) with the left hand or (1-3) or (1-3-5), and the right hand will fill up the gaps, usually maybe with (1-3), or (1-5), or (3-5).... and the choice often depends on what the song needs. for example, jay chou's feng starts off with a (5-1) on the right hand, x 4, for the first chord, before it changes to a (1-5) on the dominant chord for the next 4 beats.
to put it simply:
Feng (C)
C | G | F | C| F|.....
thats the verse right...
so hows the chords played:
its something like:
on the C chord it's
(Left hand) C - E -G ; right hand is playing G-C (c being the highest note)
before moving on on the G chord to:
(left hand) B - D - G; right hand is playing (G - D) (d being the highest note)...
and moving on to the F:
(left hand) A - C - F; right hand is playing (F - C) (c being the highest note)...
but either way the entire notes make up the chord; but you could have so easily voiced it so many different ways. you could have simply voiced it:
C - E - G: right hand playing C - E, with e BEING the highest...
or so on.
so really it's a matter of preference; but usually the trick is the song. it is supposed to fit the song, so if the melody line is: C C C C G C D D D D E D G (that is feng, btw): then jay chou's instincts is to play the c as the highest, since the c note forms the melody line; and in the next chord, it's to play the d as the highest note. so most of the time the song will determine the voicings, but of course, creative freedom allows us to play anything so long as it sounds good. so try what fits! one of the tricks, though, is not to have too much movement between chords, since, it's nice if the notes flow to each other nicely, as though the piano was a choir, and it's nice if the voices move smoothly from one to another rather than jumping all over the place.
5. It's about the touch
the touch is very important: most amateurs play all the notes the same way, but then there are many things you can do to a piano. while unlike a guitar/violin - ie you dont control the strings, you can do a few things: control the timing of the note, the loudness of the note, and the quickness/fullness that you hit the note. so, follow the melody line, make the melody line sing. most of the time, a singer will not sing all the notes in the same volume, so vary your piano playing the way the singer will vary the loudness/softness of the melodic line. and another trick is to use little 'slurs', which are little piano "pull-offs", ie one note is quickly transferred to another note to give the impresion that that note is leaning to the other note.
another trick is to play the notes together, one at a time, but leaving the last note on as the next note hits the keys - so you get a little blurring effect. (of course, just a bit is good).
sometimes you want the gentle touch for a gentle song, so try to smoothly feel your way into the keys for that effect.
That's all for now. i'll write more when i think of more things.
thanks!
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
today i was really struggling, really struggling. ocd ocd ocd. just one step away from the bad thought that will kill all come to me - just one bad thought away. or even half.
so i prayed: "Lord Jesus, deliver me", or something to that extent. it was somethiing like "Lord Jesus help me". and i knew he was listening. and after that something wonderful happened - the Lord told me that He will work, i just have to put my helmet of salvation on and He will take care of the rest. and i felt like He was arranging the heavens and my mind to be alright, something was changing.
so praise GOD.
i am here today because of Him and Him alone because everything good is from Him.
and it doesn't change.
amen to that.
may i be a testimony.
like paul says, "not that i have already achieved this, but i press on"...
but it is not my own work, it is his work.
"it is GOD who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. ..."
so i prayed: "Lord Jesus, deliver me", or something to that extent. it was somethiing like "Lord Jesus help me". and i knew he was listening. and after that something wonderful happened - the Lord told me that He will work, i just have to put my helmet of salvation on and He will take care of the rest. and i felt like He was arranging the heavens and my mind to be alright, something was changing.
so praise GOD.
i am here today because of Him and Him alone because everything good is from Him.
and it doesn't change.
amen to that.
may i be a testimony.
like paul says, "not that i have already achieved this, but i press on"...
but it is not my own work, it is his work.
"it is GOD who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. ..."
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Congratulations on Gerald and Adele for getting married! It was a lovely lovely wedding, full of God's love, perfect everlasting love between the two of them that will endure. They chose "love always preserves, always hopes, always perseveres...." (1 Corinthians) - i don't know the exact reference - but that was very apt.
it was just so sweet, i was dying inside. really. happy for them. It's great.
On another note, i drove to tampines, gave my friend a lift; everytime i drive down Simei Avenue into tampines i still feel an immense sense of nostalgia. That was my home, my little village - my kampung. it's still my home, of sorts - I think a part of me still hasn't moved out yet.
I remember, vaguely enough, the school bus rides. Which were the funnest things. Playing with kids. Playing soccer at the void deck below block 122, or wherever they used to play soccer.
Before I grew up all cold, intellectual, and materialistic, I was a kampung boy, deep down inside. I still am, perhaps. The happiest memories as a child.
it was just so sweet, i was dying inside. really. happy for them. It's great.
On another note, i drove to tampines, gave my friend a lift; everytime i drive down Simei Avenue into tampines i still feel an immense sense of nostalgia. That was my home, my little village - my kampung. it's still my home, of sorts - I think a part of me still hasn't moved out yet.
I remember, vaguely enough, the school bus rides. Which were the funnest things. Playing with kids. Playing soccer at the void deck below block 122, or wherever they used to play soccer.
Before I grew up all cold, intellectual, and materialistic, I was a kampung boy, deep down inside. I still am, perhaps. The happiest memories as a child.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
I'm back to the fold with the Lord Jesus being always with me - and I believe that Jesus is with me right now, and will remain with me for the rest of my life. And Jesus whispered to me that He will be with me all the days of my life - and I'm happy and joyful - and I will try my best to BELIEVE. Coz He said it, so it is true.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I'm slowly finding my way back to God again. It's been a tired road, long difficult road, but i know the Lord will bring me back slowly but surely. There is always a disconnect between my sunday life and the weekly interactions with the world but God willing I will be more faithful to Him through the week
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, July 12, 2010
THis is really beyond me.
Everytime I talk to a girl, let's say, "how are you", it doesn't mean I'm trying to buaya you okay - i don't buaya every girl on the street. Thank you very much. It's presumptuous to think that I'm trying to buaya you. Presumptuous, because, firstly, as Paul Gilbert wrote, there are 6 billion people on this planet. I'm not a loaded gun, or a hired gun. Thank you very much.
Seriosuly everyone is trying to second guess me and I'M REALLY VERY IRRITATED - just treat me like a normal person thank you!
how about a song that goes
gimme sympathy
how about standing in someone else's shoes and walking around in it?
michael card who gave a sermon at my church said it's because we conveniently give people labels - instead of trying to get to know the person better.
"Oh, he's a sick man". "Oh, he's this" "Oh he's that".
so here are the categories:
if he's athletic and looks not so bright, he's classified as:
=> stupid, can't think for himself, simple minded.
if he's fat - oh he must be lazy. coz he can't exercise, or doesn't want to.
if he's wearing specs and is a bit of a nerd - oh, he's bad with members of the opposite sex. since he CANNOT possibly have any experience or skills.
we all are guilty of that, aren't we?
and until we sit down and start knowing that other person better, and see each person individually, not as a member of a class, we're never going to be able to form real relationships. it will always be, unfortunately, plastic.
Everytime I talk to a girl, let's say, "how are you", it doesn't mean I'm trying to buaya you okay - i don't buaya every girl on the street. Thank you very much. It's presumptuous to think that I'm trying to buaya you. Presumptuous, because, firstly, as Paul Gilbert wrote, there are 6 billion people on this planet. I'm not a loaded gun, or a hired gun. Thank you very much.
Seriosuly everyone is trying to second guess me and I'M REALLY VERY IRRITATED - just treat me like a normal person thank you!
how about a song that goes
gimme sympathy
how about standing in someone else's shoes and walking around in it?
michael card who gave a sermon at my church said it's because we conveniently give people labels - instead of trying to get to know the person better.
"Oh, he's a sick man". "Oh, he's this" "Oh he's that".
so here are the categories:
if he's athletic and looks not so bright, he's classified as:
=> stupid, can't think for himself, simple minded.
if he's fat - oh he must be lazy. coz he can't exercise, or doesn't want to.
if he's wearing specs and is a bit of a nerd - oh, he's bad with members of the opposite sex. since he CANNOT possibly have any experience or skills.
we all are guilty of that, aren't we?
and until we sit down and start knowing that other person better, and see each person individually, not as a member of a class, we're never going to be able to form real relationships. it will always be, unfortunately, plastic.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Luke 6:27 - love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. do to others as you would have them do to you.
V32: if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expectingto get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the most high, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Am I willing to love my enemies? To love the unlovable, to love those the world considers unlovable? But god considers them lovable so do I follow God or the world?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
V32: if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expectingto get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the most high, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Am I willing to love my enemies? To love the unlovable, to love those the world considers unlovable? But god considers them lovable so do I follow God or the world?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Preview:
Spain v Holland - World Cup Final 2010
Here's my analysis/predictions for the final. While I'm not Paul the Octopus, who has wagered that spain will triumph, here's just an analysis from a soccer fan and lover of the game.
First up, it is fair to say that Spain's "tiki-taka" approach to football, ie playing short passes, triangles, passing and moving - a style developed from barca, will ensure that they retain most of the ball. And in Xavi Hernandez, they have probably the best passer on the planet right now - his awareness, accuracy, and most importantly decision making is always spot on. In fact, the number of times he's lost the ball, I think, can be counted with 1 hand (2 were against germany, i think). He is always available for that short option backwards when there's little space, to recycle the ball, spread it wide, hit the through pass, or play little triangles with members of his midfield three. And his first touch is so good (he always uses his body quite perfectly well as a shield) that it is impossible to get the ball off him, since he'd just turn and play a pass. And because all the Spanish players are able to retain possession of the ball very well, it means that there are almost numerous options for ball-recycling. Xabi Alonso is probably the perfect foil for Xavi since he plays deeper, and can be trusted to send raking balls to the flanks (esp to ramos) - it means that, shortwise or longwise, there is always a passing option.
However, possession without penetration only leads to, well, sad to say, arsenal. Lots of possession without any penetration, any danger. Sure, xavi can keep passing around the center circle, but no one scores goals from there. the attack has to advance. And so it is up to the likes of villa, iniesta, pedro (if he plays) to make things happen - and the Dutch have been rather stingy in defence, to be able to close up the space in between the defence and the midfield (by employing the 2 holding midfielders in de jong and van bommel) very well, with these 2 midfielders really snapping at every ball, working diligently and tirelessly, to break up the play. and if xavi et al can't find the passes forward, the ball is left to recycle. so it's really a test of mental strength - can the dutch in fact keep concentration in closing down space and restricting passing options for a whole 90 minutes? I'm not so sure about that - I think with de jong back things will be much better than against uruguay, but I'm not so sure either about spains' abiility to attack in a manner that brazil did against holland in the first half of that quarter final, with robinho, maicon, kaka, all running at pace at a slow back 4. iniesta is no slouch but definitely not as fast as robinho. xavi is pretty slow. villa, well, he's fast but he's just one man.
On the other front though, i'm not sure whether the dutch can even retain enough possession to fashion enough chances. spain, in my money's opinion, will cut off all angles to robben to prevent the simple pass to him which will result in his running at a spanish defender, whether ramos or capdevilia. i'm pretty sure that busquets will go and cover the flanks to prevent that one-on-one situation, which leaves space for sniejder etc to do some magic. but robben is a game changer - if he is up to his electrifying best, i can see the game going holland's way, because it will take some stopping, to bring him down - maybe 3 men or more, since he's so technically gifted, skilful, and fast at the same time. kuyt on the other flank gives holland some good options since he's always tirelessly running,making angles for a pass, and so on. and van persie well holds up play pretty well and is a pretty good linkman and has some skills and a good shot to boot. but with the spanish team always pressing, closing down the space, and preventing the other team from playing, it's going to be hard for a holland team to find passing channels and create chances, or even finding a teammate, since the spanish defend collectively to cover all passing lanes, not just the most dangerous ones.
On the other hand, i believe the dutch are technically more gifted than the germans. sneidjer has a better first touch than ozil, has 2 good feet, and van persie has likewise better control than klose, although he fails in the heading department. robben is faster than trochowski, which means that the full backs will not be able to push up that much.
Overall i could see spain sneaking it by 1 goal - my head says spain though my heart says holland. i can see that upset coming, that no one really expected. but it will take a great individual performance by one of holland's attacking stars to do so, whereas spain is less reliant on individual magic.
Spain v Holland - World Cup Final 2010
Here's my analysis/predictions for the final. While I'm not Paul the Octopus, who has wagered that spain will triumph, here's just an analysis from a soccer fan and lover of the game.
First up, it is fair to say that Spain's "tiki-taka" approach to football, ie playing short passes, triangles, passing and moving - a style developed from barca, will ensure that they retain most of the ball. And in Xavi Hernandez, they have probably the best passer on the planet right now - his awareness, accuracy, and most importantly decision making is always spot on. In fact, the number of times he's lost the ball, I think, can be counted with 1 hand (2 were against germany, i think). He is always available for that short option backwards when there's little space, to recycle the ball, spread it wide, hit the through pass, or play little triangles with members of his midfield three. And his first touch is so good (he always uses his body quite perfectly well as a shield) that it is impossible to get the ball off him, since he'd just turn and play a pass. And because all the Spanish players are able to retain possession of the ball very well, it means that there are almost numerous options for ball-recycling. Xabi Alonso is probably the perfect foil for Xavi since he plays deeper, and can be trusted to send raking balls to the flanks (esp to ramos) - it means that, shortwise or longwise, there is always a passing option.
However, possession without penetration only leads to, well, sad to say, arsenal. Lots of possession without any penetration, any danger. Sure, xavi can keep passing around the center circle, but no one scores goals from there. the attack has to advance. And so it is up to the likes of villa, iniesta, pedro (if he plays) to make things happen - and the Dutch have been rather stingy in defence, to be able to close up the space in between the defence and the midfield (by employing the 2 holding midfielders in de jong and van bommel) very well, with these 2 midfielders really snapping at every ball, working diligently and tirelessly, to break up the play. and if xavi et al can't find the passes forward, the ball is left to recycle. so it's really a test of mental strength - can the dutch in fact keep concentration in closing down space and restricting passing options for a whole 90 minutes? I'm not so sure about that - I think with de jong back things will be much better than against uruguay, but I'm not so sure either about spains' abiility to attack in a manner that brazil did against holland in the first half of that quarter final, with robinho, maicon, kaka, all running at pace at a slow back 4. iniesta is no slouch but definitely not as fast as robinho. xavi is pretty slow. villa, well, he's fast but he's just one man.
On the other front though, i'm not sure whether the dutch can even retain enough possession to fashion enough chances. spain, in my money's opinion, will cut off all angles to robben to prevent the simple pass to him which will result in his running at a spanish defender, whether ramos or capdevilia. i'm pretty sure that busquets will go and cover the flanks to prevent that one-on-one situation, which leaves space for sniejder etc to do some magic. but robben is a game changer - if he is up to his electrifying best, i can see the game going holland's way, because it will take some stopping, to bring him down - maybe 3 men or more, since he's so technically gifted, skilful, and fast at the same time. kuyt on the other flank gives holland some good options since he's always tirelessly running,making angles for a pass, and so on. and van persie well holds up play pretty well and is a pretty good linkman and has some skills and a good shot to boot. but with the spanish team always pressing, closing down the space, and preventing the other team from playing, it's going to be hard for a holland team to find passing channels and create chances, or even finding a teammate, since the spanish defend collectively to cover all passing lanes, not just the most dangerous ones.
On the other hand, i believe the dutch are technically more gifted than the germans. sneidjer has a better first touch than ozil, has 2 good feet, and van persie has likewise better control than klose, although he fails in the heading department. robben is faster than trochowski, which means that the full backs will not be able to push up that much.
Overall i could see spain sneaking it by 1 goal - my head says spain though my heart says holland. i can see that upset coming, that no one really expected. but it will take a great individual performance by one of holland's attacking stars to do so, whereas spain is less reliant on individual magic.
Friday, July 09, 2010
I'm really tired and jaded - commencement is funny and a little surreal.
There are too many wrong untrue threads in my brain and it's holding me in a grip
I am afraid of doing well because I'm afraid it will lead to pride, even though I don't want to. It's a disease that is inevitably getting me.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
There are too many wrong untrue threads in my brain and it's holding me in a grip
I am afraid of doing well because I'm afraid it will lead to pride, even though I don't want to. It's a disease that is inevitably getting me.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Hmmm
I've been back almost three weeks already, and here are some thoughts:
Favourite city: London, Vienna
Restaurant: steirereck, l'atelier Joel robuchon.
Favourite experiences: driving down route de grand cru, berlin walks, watching concert at schonbrunn, watching musicals, borough market
Favourite food experiences: besides the two restaurants mentioned, oysters in Brittany, seafood platter, cheeses, borough market, German beer, Monmouth coffee, Viennese cakes
What was underwhelming: Paris - a beautiful place but dodgy people and sinister feel
Wish I could have seen more of: the louvre, And maybe the nat gallery in London
Repeat stops: Monmouth coffee, 6 visits; le petit port in dinard, 2 times; genose kebab in mehringdam 2 times
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I've been back almost three weeks already, and here are some thoughts:
Favourite city: London, Vienna
Restaurant: steirereck, l'atelier Joel robuchon.
Favourite experiences: driving down route de grand cru, berlin walks, watching concert at schonbrunn, watching musicals, borough market
Favourite food experiences: besides the two restaurants mentioned, oysters in Brittany, seafood platter, cheeses, borough market, German beer, Monmouth coffee, Viennese cakes
What was underwhelming: Paris - a beautiful place but dodgy people and sinister feel
Wish I could have seen more of: the louvre, And maybe the nat gallery in London
Repeat stops: Monmouth coffee, 6 visits; le petit port in dinard, 2 times; genose kebab in mehringdam 2 times
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Wow holland won after I said I'd support them against the mighty selacao. Robben was unplayable. Yes he goes down easily but
Who could stop him? Brazil
Just ran out of steam and well I
Just hope melo doesn't get the Escobar treatment. He was a bit
Of a prick anyway, fully
Deserves to walk
For that!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Help me Father to fix my eyes on Jesus, to throw away anything that stumbles and the sin that so easily entangles, and to run the race set for me, fixing my eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of my faith. The lord Jesus loves me and died for me and is beside me, right now, and is forever with me, for he says surely I am with you to the end of the edge. So I will look to him everyday every moment every minute and forever listen to his voice
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Yeah, everyone is getting married already.
Moving on with their lives
So my mother tells me
They've planned for their future
and you're just "linging-longing" your life away
As the wind blows
When are you going to settle down?
Stop chasing the prettiest girls in the world
Who will hurt you again and again
Simple is good
Simple yes simple
maybe i'll just go and marry a vietnam girl
might be better
(this is a cathartic release, oh but you're not supposed to say it out loud)
Yeah i feel much better already, thanks for listening
Will always be an emo kid maybe
But emo kids are only emo because they're not living the ideal life
For if you were living the ideal life, you won't be emo
You'd be forever thankful and happy and joyful and glad
If u saw everything in the perspective of the Lord
But I'm not there yet, I don't pretend to be there
I only can say I'm trying to get there and by faith it's possible
but it's long
and i can't help these human emotions
bleagh
london was great because i felt
i could do anything i wanted
and it was all me
all right
all fine
it felt like home, but home with no restrictions
except how much something costs.
no social norms, no boundaries
no "how are u feeling" that sorta thing
maybe i could live by myself
and be a hermit
i'm too egoisticial for my own good
even though i appear modest
fail
major fail
a megalomaniac, that's what
and yes i used spellcheck
okay before you bore about my life
i doubt anyone's reading this
okay email me if you do
some people say, blogging's so self-indulgent
but it's the only way, sometimes, to release that pent up frustrations
or i could write a song, but then it'll be an angsty song, and no one likes my angsty songs
ah
im feeling alot better now
Moving on with their lives
So my mother tells me
They've planned for their future
and you're just "linging-longing" your life away
As the wind blows
When are you going to settle down?
Stop chasing the prettiest girls in the world
Who will hurt you again and again
Simple is good
Simple yes simple
maybe i'll just go and marry a vietnam girl
might be better
(this is a cathartic release, oh but you're not supposed to say it out loud)
Yeah i feel much better already, thanks for listening
Will always be an emo kid maybe
But emo kids are only emo because they're not living the ideal life
For if you were living the ideal life, you won't be emo
You'd be forever thankful and happy and joyful and glad
If u saw everything in the perspective of the Lord
But I'm not there yet, I don't pretend to be there
I only can say I'm trying to get there and by faith it's possible
but it's long
and i can't help these human emotions
bleagh
london was great because i felt
i could do anything i wanted
and it was all me
all right
all fine
it felt like home, but home with no restrictions
except how much something costs.
no social norms, no boundaries
no "how are u feeling" that sorta thing
maybe i could live by myself
and be a hermit
i'm too egoisticial for my own good
even though i appear modest
fail
major fail
a megalomaniac, that's what
and yes i used spellcheck
okay before you bore about my life
i doubt anyone's reading this
okay email me if you do
some people say, blogging's so self-indulgent
but it's the only way, sometimes, to release that pent up frustrations
or i could write a song, but then it'll be an angsty song, and no one likes my angsty songs
ah
im feeling alot better now
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Phantom (of the Opera) was really really awesome, awesome. Magnifico! The music at Her Majesty's theater was perfect, perfect. The orchestra was great, and the tempo spot on. The instruments were also great and the mix was good. The effects were spectacular. One of the highlights of the entire trip, I have to say. Very good.#
I used to watch phantom as a kid long ago, having been able to remember all the lines. But now watching this as an Adult makes all the difference - the emotions, the passions, the pathos, the sadness, all speaks to you in a way never seen before, in a way never imagined or felt before. It was pretty amazing.
Bravo.
Yes I cried. I feel like the Phantom sometimes
I used to watch phantom as a kid long ago, having been able to remember all the lines. But now watching this as an Adult makes all the difference - the emotions, the passions, the pathos, the sadness, all speaks to you in a way never seen before, in a way never imagined or felt before. It was pretty amazing.
Bravo.
Yes I cried. I feel like the Phantom sometimes
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Vienna is as nice as I remembered it to be. The cobblestoned streets, extremely nice architecture, and quaintness is still there. But perhaps the charm has faded away, slowly. I remembered being enchanted by Vienna as a young 16 year old making my way for the first time into Europe, and being amazed by the wonderful architecture, culture, music, and everything. We travelled around in style as well, in a Coach (for a school trip). This time, it was much more different, travelling around like backpackers, from a hostel, so on, so on. And also it was scorching hot - most of the time the days were like 30deg or more. But I had some really awesome experiences, probably three of the best ones on the trip. The first was the awesome free Summer Night Concert at Schonbrunn where we managed, thank God, to go into the seating areas to sit down very near the stage where the Vienna PHilharmonic was playing. Listening to very charming music (think the Viennese waltz) amidst serene scenery of lush shapely trees and perfectly manicured gardens and vast grass patches was quite a sublime experience. God was in the place enjoying the performance as well, and I guess I was thankful just to have been there at that time.
The other was the awesomest lunch at Steirereck, rated 21 in the world. Of course, just like every other food experience, it will be blogged at my other blog (the foodie in me) - it was 5 sublime courses for 65 euros, admittedly expensive, but I'm only in vienna once. I had OFFICIALLY the best Chocolate I have had in my life, a perfect balance of sweet, bitter, chocolatey, with a perfect chocolate flavour, chocolate as it's meant to be eaten. And the cheeses were sublime as well - especially the blue cheese, that felt like heaven as the flavours exploded in my mouth. More to come in the food blog!
And lastly we managed to visit the usual tourist attractions - the Stephensdom, which was rather imposing and grand, the Hofburg, which was really quite touching especially the story of Franz Joseph and his love for his wife and his spartan lifestyle, extreme piety and deep devotion to God, and his sense of dut - and the Schonbrunn palace which was quite lovely. Thank God for Vienna.
Now Im stuck in transit tryng to get back to London. Ah well, the value of patience.
The other was the awesomest lunch at Steirereck, rated 21 in the world. Of course, just like every other food experience, it will be blogged at my other blog (the foodie in me) - it was 5 sublime courses for 65 euros, admittedly expensive, but I'm only in vienna once. I had OFFICIALLY the best Chocolate I have had in my life, a perfect balance of sweet, bitter, chocolatey, with a perfect chocolate flavour, chocolate as it's meant to be eaten. And the cheeses were sublime as well - especially the blue cheese, that felt like heaven as the flavours exploded in my mouth. More to come in the food blog!
And lastly we managed to visit the usual tourist attractions - the Stephensdom, which was rather imposing and grand, the Hofburg, which was really quite touching especially the story of Franz Joseph and his love for his wife and his spartan lifestyle, extreme piety and deep devotion to God, and his sense of dut - and the Schonbrunn palace which was quite lovely. Thank God for Vienna.
Now Im stuck in transit tryng to get back to London. Ah well, the value of patience.
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Everytime I go to a new city, I'm always extremely interested in their....Public transportation system - it's really eye-opening! Just to see how the lines were developed, how they commute - you can learn so much about the city just by viewing their - public transportation system, ie their subway network.
Being a Singaporean I think visiting other rail networks present us with wonderful lessons of what we can do (and what not to do) - usually I'd take the positives; so let's go ahead with a tale of 3 Subway stations.
First up, London - the London Underground, the Tube, is the world's oldest subway network, dating from the 19th century. it's characterised by the tube-like tunnels which are really quite perfectly circular in diameter. Well, the Tube is everywhere - it stretches to all parts of London, and Londoners really love the Tube alot, so much so that I think it holds an important place in their hearts when they think of the city. it's the little things like "good service", the "mind the gap", the buskers around, that make the tube so quintessentially charming. it's just awesome. and the rail network is very extensive - the lines are named, so there's the piccadilly line, central line, northern line, victoria line, etc, and the great thing is that there is no one central station, but the network is designed so that in central london almost all stations are interchanges, between different lines; so for example Picadilly Circus is picadilly line with the jubilee line, leicester square sees the picadilly line meet the northern line, oxford circus sees the central line meeting the bakerloo line, and so on and so forth. This alleviates many congestion problems because commuters have many different ways to go from A to B - they could drop at one place, and take one line, or alternatively they could drop at another and take another line to get to their destination (which has 2 lines) - thus traffic congestion is divided pretty equally since commuters would not go to the same interchanges to change lines.
I think for Singapore we just simply have too little interchanges, only raffles place and city hall, which is a problem, since commuters will inevitably have to go there, resulting in much congestion; also it isn't efficient since commuters are essentially making a detour to the interchange to get onto the next line. perhaps some things could be learnt, for example, creating more lines so that commuters can do the hopping thing much more effectively.
Paris's METRO started in 1900, and so it's not that old as london's; it's very very extensive, and actually carries more people than the tube, according to wikipedia. the main station is chatelet, and the lines are actually numbered. everything though has a very dirty, dingy feel, since the trains are old and rickety, the tracks are full of dirt and grime, and it feels pretty unsafe - a friend of mine got pickpocketed in the Metro. for coverage, the metro is pretty unbeatable.
im now in Berlin, and so here there's the S-Bahn and the U-Bahn; the latter runs only underground while the former is mainly a surface line with some parts underground. the plus point is that it's very comfortable - the seats are big, and padded, and the trains are quiet; there are actually escalators, something you won't find in the other 2 cities mentioned. Although, and this is very controversial, it's not as well-connected as London's is; most of the lines connect at AlexanderPlatz, or in the West, Frederichstrasse, etc, and many of the times it takes quite a few stops to get from a place to an interchange, and then a few more stops to get to another, before changing back to the right lines. And then there is the little problem that the 2 'systems', the U bahn and the S bahn, have different stations even though the map explicitly states that they're at the same intersection - which leaves you with the little problem of finding out how to get from the S bahn to the U bahn. so you have to look out for the "U" or the "S". The great thing, however, is that the timings are extremely accurate, which is a real plus. STILL. It's irritating going around in circles, but oh well. berlin's a nice fun crazy city, so i can take that.
Being a Singaporean I think visiting other rail networks present us with wonderful lessons of what we can do (and what not to do) - usually I'd take the positives; so let's go ahead with a tale of 3 Subway stations.
First up, London - the London Underground, the Tube, is the world's oldest subway network, dating from the 19th century. it's characterised by the tube-like tunnels which are really quite perfectly circular in diameter. Well, the Tube is everywhere - it stretches to all parts of London, and Londoners really love the Tube alot, so much so that I think it holds an important place in their hearts when they think of the city. it's the little things like "good service", the "mind the gap", the buskers around, that make the tube so quintessentially charming. it's just awesome. and the rail network is very extensive - the lines are named, so there's the piccadilly line, central line, northern line, victoria line, etc, and the great thing is that there is no one central station, but the network is designed so that in central london almost all stations are interchanges, between different lines; so for example Picadilly Circus is picadilly line with the jubilee line, leicester square sees the picadilly line meet the northern line, oxford circus sees the central line meeting the bakerloo line, and so on and so forth. This alleviates many congestion problems because commuters have many different ways to go from A to B - they could drop at one place, and take one line, or alternatively they could drop at another and take another line to get to their destination (which has 2 lines) - thus traffic congestion is divided pretty equally since commuters would not go to the same interchanges to change lines.
I think for Singapore we just simply have too little interchanges, only raffles place and city hall, which is a problem, since commuters will inevitably have to go there, resulting in much congestion; also it isn't efficient since commuters are essentially making a detour to the interchange to get onto the next line. perhaps some things could be learnt, for example, creating more lines so that commuters can do the hopping thing much more effectively.
Paris's METRO started in 1900, and so it's not that old as london's; it's very very extensive, and actually carries more people than the tube, according to wikipedia. the main station is chatelet, and the lines are actually numbered. everything though has a very dirty, dingy feel, since the trains are old and rickety, the tracks are full of dirt and grime, and it feels pretty unsafe - a friend of mine got pickpocketed in the Metro. for coverage, the metro is pretty unbeatable.
im now in Berlin, and so here there's the S-Bahn and the U-Bahn; the latter runs only underground while the former is mainly a surface line with some parts underground. the plus point is that it's very comfortable - the seats are big, and padded, and the trains are quiet; there are actually escalators, something you won't find in the other 2 cities mentioned. Although, and this is very controversial, it's not as well-connected as London's is; most of the lines connect at AlexanderPlatz, or in the West, Frederichstrasse, etc, and many of the times it takes quite a few stops to get from a place to an interchange, and then a few more stops to get to another, before changing back to the right lines. And then there is the little problem that the 2 'systems', the U bahn and the S bahn, have different stations even though the map explicitly states that they're at the same intersection - which leaves you with the little problem of finding out how to get from the S bahn to the U bahn. so you have to look out for the "U" or the "S". The great thing, however, is that the timings are extremely accurate, which is a real plus. STILL. It's irritating going around in circles, but oh well. berlin's a nice fun crazy city, so i can take that.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I just had this really weird dream
it all started with me, being in chinatown, driving around; i dreamt i was going to mirabelle to buy more croissants, and then to papa pahleta, and then i was stopped right in chinatown. and i saw D** travel, which is the place where i was to collect my tickets.
and then, i drove my car into the ramp; it was a dingy place; but somehow i parked my car somewhere, but then,in my dream i was transported into a trance, and then i forgot where the car was; it was as if my mind was just blank - kinda like a forgotten dream, in a dream. and so i asked the store proprietor, where the car was; no answer.
strange.
i decided to walk around; and suddenly i felt like they stole my car; the car was not in any of the carparks. it was gone, gone! strange. i ran around looking high and low for it, but to no avail. it was really gone. in the end, one of them came up to threaten me with a clobber saying someting like "if you call the police, it's too late".....
and i was pleading with them: "please, it's my parents car, it's not even mine".....and they even looked into the used car manual and it was worth only 13,000 SGD.
and later on there was a food review section - where i saw different 'fusion' cuisines; i cant remember all the dishes but i think the highest rated one was a Mango-Banana dessert thing. quite strange. i tried it; also lots of blackberries and berries and dunno what.
my dreams are strange eh.
im just blogging about it for fun.
for me to remembe them.
it all started with me, being in chinatown, driving around; i dreamt i was going to mirabelle to buy more croissants, and then to papa pahleta, and then i was stopped right in chinatown. and i saw D** travel, which is the place where i was to collect my tickets.
and then, i drove my car into the ramp; it was a dingy place; but somehow i parked my car somewhere, but then,in my dream i was transported into a trance, and then i forgot where the car was; it was as if my mind was just blank - kinda like a forgotten dream, in a dream. and so i asked the store proprietor, where the car was; no answer.
strange.
i decided to walk around; and suddenly i felt like they stole my car; the car was not in any of the carparks. it was gone, gone! strange. i ran around looking high and low for it, but to no avail. it was really gone. in the end, one of them came up to threaten me with a clobber saying someting like "if you call the police, it's too late".....
and i was pleading with them: "please, it's my parents car, it's not even mine".....and they even looked into the used car manual and it was worth only 13,000 SGD.
and later on there was a food review section - where i saw different 'fusion' cuisines; i cant remember all the dishes but i think the highest rated one was a Mango-Banana dessert thing. quite strange. i tried it; also lots of blackberries and berries and dunno what.
my dreams are strange eh.
im just blogging about it for fun.
for me to remembe them.
Monday, April 26, 2010
living in this world is hard
i think strawberry fields forever is better
i'd rather live in my dreams
but when i step out of the house it's reality
and it crushes me
yesh it crushes me
im coming up with these lyrics ad hoc
maybe ill set them to music
it's hard when all they shoot you down for are mundane little things
little horrible things
it crushes me
it's not easy
that's why the Lord still loves you even though you are down
coz you can't make it on your own
and the times of despair
just brings you back there
to His arms alone
he's not ashamed to take you
id' rather have strawberry fields forever
but i know that the Lord is loving and kind
and maybe i must make up my mind
and be a bit stronger in this world.
for i'm being thrown into the fire; into a den with wolves
have to be cunning like snakes
i think strawberry fields forever is better
i'd rather live in my dreams
but when i step out of the house it's reality
and it crushes me
yesh it crushes me
im coming up with these lyrics ad hoc
maybe ill set them to music
it's hard when all they shoot you down for are mundane little things
little horrible things
it crushes me
it's not easy
that's why the Lord still loves you even though you are down
coz you can't make it on your own
and the times of despair
just brings you back there
to His arms alone
he's not ashamed to take you
id' rather have strawberry fields forever
but i know that the Lord is loving and kind
and maybe i must make up my mind
and be a bit stronger in this world.
for i'm being thrown into the fire; into a den with wolves
have to be cunning like snakes
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I had a really interesting conversation with D, whom I haven't met in a long time.
Hello D if you are reading this.
We spent alot of time talking about this whole conundrum called "INFP-ness". It's because both of us are INFPs, and well, sometimes it really takes one to know one. I mean, we INFPs are strange. Wait, maybe strange is too mild a word; psychotic, maybe. If you already don't know, INFP stands for "introvert-intuition-feeling-perceiving" and it's a personality type from the Myers-Briggs classification system.
We began talking about many things: it's quite interesting actually, because you know, there are so few INFPS in this world so once you meet one it's very rare:
a) We see that there is meaning in everything; thus everything seems to be a sign that God is speaking to us. even very very mundane things that most people would find just....everyday happenings. it means we think too much.
b) We get lonely sometimes; even when we're in a crowd with alot of people, we feel like we're alone; distant.
c) we need our own space; when someone budges into our space we feel threatened. yeah - tick - i go through that quite alot actually.
d) We feel genuinely happy when there's good in this world; when people do good to others, it makes our day; and when people are bad to others, we feel urm. angry? i don't know.
e) we try to "feel" and "mean" everything we do and say; we feel BAD when we don't mean it from our heart. i have this problem alot when i'm saying grace. i mean, it's just 'thank you God' but i really want to mean it. so i always have this problem when i'm saying grace. or saying "thanks" when peopel give you things.
f) this feeling bad thing - i told D - is crazy; sometimes you need a defence mechanism. but then again; maybe you don't, coz it's more genuinely who you are.
anyway, it's hard to be an INFP in law school, believe me.
Oh i have started a Soundclick. It has my songs on it.
http://www.soundclick.com/shawnpoon
Do feel free to listen and comment. thanks.
Hello D if you are reading this.
We spent alot of time talking about this whole conundrum called "INFP-ness". It's because both of us are INFPs, and well, sometimes it really takes one to know one. I mean, we INFPs are strange. Wait, maybe strange is too mild a word; psychotic, maybe. If you already don't know, INFP stands for "introvert-intuition-feeling-perceiving" and it's a personality type from the Myers-Briggs classification system.
We began talking about many things: it's quite interesting actually, because you know, there are so few INFPS in this world so once you meet one it's very rare:
a) We see that there is meaning in everything; thus everything seems to be a sign that God is speaking to us. even very very mundane things that most people would find just....everyday happenings. it means we think too much.
b) We get lonely sometimes; even when we're in a crowd with alot of people, we feel like we're alone; distant.
c) we need our own space; when someone budges into our space we feel threatened. yeah - tick - i go through that quite alot actually.
d) We feel genuinely happy when there's good in this world; when people do good to others, it makes our day; and when people are bad to others, we feel urm. angry? i don't know.
e) we try to "feel" and "mean" everything we do and say; we feel BAD when we don't mean it from our heart. i have this problem alot when i'm saying grace. i mean, it's just 'thank you God' but i really want to mean it. so i always have this problem when i'm saying grace. or saying "thanks" when peopel give you things.
f) this feeling bad thing - i told D - is crazy; sometimes you need a defence mechanism. but then again; maybe you don't, coz it's more genuinely who you are.
anyway, it's hard to be an INFP in law school, believe me.
Oh i have started a Soundclick. It has my songs on it.
http://www.soundclick.com/shawnpoon
Do feel free to listen and comment. thanks.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Friday, April 09, 2010
Monday, April 05, 2010
Happy easter and good friday; i shall write another post on that another day, but now I'm really very sleepy, it's a monday morning, and the day is daunting so, i wrote a new song on the way to school! it goes something like that.
Come on shawn, it's not so bad after all! (x2)
Wake up and smell the coffee (x2)
Come on shawn, it's not so bad after all!
yooo
it shld be fun.
Come on shawn, it's not so bad after all! (x2)
Wake up and smell the coffee (x2)
Come on shawn, it's not so bad after all!
yooo
it shld be fun.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
thank Jesus for a wonderful day today - which included many blessings - including;
a. a good nice jap lunch!
b. a great time cooking and having dinner and jamming
c. good friends
d. the ability to play a musical instrument relatively well.
e. the ability to sing better (or improving)
thank him
shawn
on to the weekend!
a. a good nice jap lunch!
b. a great time cooking and having dinner and jamming
c. good friends
d. the ability to play a musical instrument relatively well.
e. the ability to sing better (or improving)
thank him
shawn
on to the weekend!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
* you must realise that when bloggers blog, it's not that that's the only thing they've been thinking about for the past week, and then it all comes together, and eureka, you get a blog entry. We don't spend our lives 24/7 for the blog, on the blog, or even caring about the blog, for the matter. we only blog when we feel like it, or when we have something to say. I guess this is the latter time.*
Having done family law for like a few months now, I honestly think that we should go back to the old Catholic/Christian view of divorce. Make it extremely hard for couples to divorce once they have decided to get married. I mean, where's the "to death till us part", where's that concept of marriage that two people decide to commit to their life partner once and for all, and be safe and secure in that? In that love that should not change, that would not change, that need not change. All too often people are flippant and give up on love too easily. Which reminds me of KT Tunstall, who sang, on the "Other side of the World": "The fire fades away, most of everyday, is full of tired excuses, but it's too hard to say, I wish it were simple, but we give up easilyyou're close enough to see that....." Well, it doesn't have to be in the course of a long distance relationship, but either way, love should not give up so easily, isnt' it? It's a choice, to love that person - not just a feeling of romance. That feeling goes away, yes, but ultimately that choice should not go away, because you have willed (in the Kantian sense) it not to.
I sound very much like a guru on love, even though I never had a girlfriend before. It comes from my experience with counselling alot of my male and female friends. I think if I could charge money on this service I'd be rich by now. But never mind. And alot of it comes from the relationship with Christ - if you see the way He loves it's a constant choice to love, a constant love, that doesn't change. And will not change, if I know Him truly.
Having done family law for like a few months now, I honestly think that we should go back to the old Catholic/Christian view of divorce. Make it extremely hard for couples to divorce once they have decided to get married. I mean, where's the "to death till us part", where's that concept of marriage that two people decide to commit to their life partner once and for all, and be safe and secure in that? In that love that should not change, that would not change, that need not change. All too often people are flippant and give up on love too easily. Which reminds me of KT Tunstall, who sang, on the "Other side of the World": "The fire fades away, most of everyday, is full of tired excuses, but it's too hard to say, I wish it were simple, but we give up easilyyou're close enough to see that....." Well, it doesn't have to be in the course of a long distance relationship, but either way, love should not give up so easily, isnt' it? It's a choice, to love that person - not just a feeling of romance. That feeling goes away, yes, but ultimately that choice should not go away, because you have willed (in the Kantian sense) it not to.
I sound very much like a guru on love, even though I never had a girlfriend before. It comes from my experience with counselling alot of my male and female friends. I think if I could charge money on this service I'd be rich by now. But never mind. And alot of it comes from the relationship with Christ - if you see the way He loves it's a constant choice to love, a constant love, that doesn't change. And will not change, if I know Him truly.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
why do i like sleeping at unearthly hours?
I can write better music then.
it's the silence, man. the day's just too noisy!
i'm trying to complete a string quartet now, hopefully for mings and co to play. hehs. hopefully. it doesn't sound too terrible i hope.
im trying to finetune the chords so that it's intersting for everyone.
I can write better music then.
it's the silence, man. the day's just too noisy!
i'm trying to complete a string quartet now, hopefully for mings and co to play. hehs. hopefully. it doesn't sound too terrible i hope.
im trying to finetune the chords so that it's intersting for everyone.
Friday, March 05, 2010
I was a really emo kid last time.
I remembered writing a song for a friend who kind of "lost" me and drifted away, and i was really sad. in my heart i was sad. i used to give my heart away too easily - right now i keep my heart to myself too much - but it used to be that i gave it away too easily.
the song went like that
"There was a fork on the road we were travelling
You said go on, you could walk on alone, without me
You were so afraid to open your heart out
We sailed on by just to drift by (sic) another day
And when I said look at the sun, it's shining out for you the lights will pull you through
you needed to go"
super sad. and i was like, maybe 17.
oh how cynical i have become!
I remembered writing a song for a friend who kind of "lost" me and drifted away, and i was really sad. in my heart i was sad. i used to give my heart away too easily - right now i keep my heart to myself too much - but it used to be that i gave it away too easily.
the song went like that
"There was a fork on the road we were travelling
You said go on, you could walk on alone, without me
You were so afraid to open your heart out
We sailed on by just to drift by (sic) another day
And when I said look at the sun, it's shining out for you the lights will pull you through
you needed to go"
super sad. and i was like, maybe 17.
oh how cynical i have become!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A good thought to end the day
1 Corinthians Chapter 13
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
how true.
it is not self seeking.
1 Corinthians Chapter 13
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
how true.
it is not self seeking.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Lord, this morning, assured me that He chose me, and will be with me for the rest of my life. I heard the comforting strands of sm singing to me from Him how he still loves me, and then i heard a verse - psalms 23.
"even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
(i don't have e actual paraphrase but this is probably the jist of it)
i am going into alot of valleys o shadows of death soon. it may be in school, in work, in anything - but i must believe that the rod is still there, even though i don't feel it at all. it seems so distant - i feel so alienated - but the rod IS still there.
"even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
(i don't have e actual paraphrase but this is probably the jist of it)
i am going into alot of valleys o shadows of death soon. it may be in school, in work, in anything - but i must believe that the rod is still there, even though i don't feel it at all. it seems so distant - i feel so alienated - but the rod IS still there.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
alright, i guess a part of me is just impatient - impatient for my real life to start. it's kinda in limbo, i don't know where i'm heading, really.
"But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall soar on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint."
isaiah.
Waiting has never been easy, huh. I mean, you can only wait if you have faith. But if you don't even have faith, your waiting is pointless, because waiting involves that you do believe that something good is going to happen, in the end; that's why the Lord in His Word said that if e Lord didn't rise from the dead, our faith would be useless - because ultimately there must be something good in the end - Jesus's Resurrection - amen, which is true, and real, and He is Lord of all - from now till forever. but then faith manifested itself in something real - that there is something good in the end (His resurrection), that's why we can really have faith, because we knew something good is going to happen in the end.
It's the same with me, i have to have faith that something good is going to happen, at the end of all this. in my life, though for the dearth of me i can't see it now. i gotta believe.
I'm trying to get rid of a stronghold man. this stronghold will not go away. but it must - for it is causing deep rebellion, inside. but even this is down to faith. it is really about faith - faith that e Lord will deliever me from this stronghold.
I used to blog much more - about who I am, finding myself. (this blog's been around for quite some time, incidentally. 2003). and i'm back to writing music again. i think when i'm writing, part of it is really self-exploration, a quite cathartic form of expression that releases what's inside me. and it's really about personal expression - it's not about being proud and trying to show off to the world "oh i'm such a super awesome songwriter", but it's really about personal expression, personal emotion, to release how i really feel inside. if not it's too unhealthy - keeping it in is only going to make it worse, really.
in law school, being an INFP is very difficult. absolutely.
because, one, law school is often always about who has the loudest voice, largest gestures, biggest opinions. an introvert shys away; law school is about logic - you win based on logic, but then i'm an emotional person who prefers to let my feelings do the talking. so again, no go. and it's not about intuition, because you can't use intuition to convince the judge, can you? it has to be based on details. and lastly, it's about the details, not the big picture; if you cared about the big picture, you'd be a politician. a visionary. an economist. or something. in fact those are really the things i wanna do, to be a steve jobs or something. create a new product. think of a new concept. but of course, vanity has brought me to law school, and the pain of living a life unhealthily not-suited to my own.
guess i'll work for a few years and then buzz off.
"But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall soar on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint."
isaiah.
Waiting has never been easy, huh. I mean, you can only wait if you have faith. But if you don't even have faith, your waiting is pointless, because waiting involves that you do believe that something good is going to happen, in the end; that's why the Lord in His Word said that if e Lord didn't rise from the dead, our faith would be useless - because ultimately there must be something good in the end - Jesus's Resurrection - amen, which is true, and real, and He is Lord of all - from now till forever. but then faith manifested itself in something real - that there is something good in the end (His resurrection), that's why we can really have faith, because we knew something good is going to happen in the end.
It's the same with me, i have to have faith that something good is going to happen, at the end of all this. in my life, though for the dearth of me i can't see it now. i gotta believe.
I'm trying to get rid of a stronghold man. this stronghold will not go away. but it must - for it is causing deep rebellion, inside. but even this is down to faith. it is really about faith - faith that e Lord will deliever me from this stronghold.
I used to blog much more - about who I am, finding myself. (this blog's been around for quite some time, incidentally. 2003). and i'm back to writing music again. i think when i'm writing, part of it is really self-exploration, a quite cathartic form of expression that releases what's inside me. and it's really about personal expression - it's not about being proud and trying to show off to the world "oh i'm such a super awesome songwriter", but it's really about personal expression, personal emotion, to release how i really feel inside. if not it's too unhealthy - keeping it in is only going to make it worse, really.
in law school, being an INFP is very difficult. absolutely.
because, one, law school is often always about who has the loudest voice, largest gestures, biggest opinions. an introvert shys away; law school is about logic - you win based on logic, but then i'm an emotional person who prefers to let my feelings do the talking. so again, no go. and it's not about intuition, because you can't use intuition to convince the judge, can you? it has to be based on details. and lastly, it's about the details, not the big picture; if you cared about the big picture, you'd be a politician. a visionary. an economist. or something. in fact those are really the things i wanna do, to be a steve jobs or something. create a new product. think of a new concept. but of course, vanity has brought me to law school, and the pain of living a life unhealthily not-suited to my own.
guess i'll work for a few years and then buzz off.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
I realised that i'm actually a very nuah person. i enjoy slacking. i enjoy bumming around, letting myself daydream, doing all sorts of slack things, lying in bed, on the couch, having lunch, then going back to sleep, oh it's dinner time, eat, then go back to nuah. or watch some tv. just something that doesn't need too much exertion.
I woke up at 1. life is good. tried to give myself a coffee "ban", you know, no coffee for a while. i think i shld do that more. it rejuvenates the mind.
i wonder how im going to get through working life next time.
I woke up at 1. life is good. tried to give myself a coffee "ban", you know, no coffee for a while. i think i shld do that more. it rejuvenates the mind.
i wonder how im going to get through working life next time.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
James 1:2-7
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
When I ask i better not doubt - because he who doubts will not receive anything from the Lord. But when he asks, HE MUST BELIEVE.
I MUST BELIEVE.
So HELP ME GOD.
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
When I ask i better not doubt - because he who doubts will not receive anything from the Lord. But when he asks, HE MUST BELIEVE.
I MUST BELIEVE.
So HELP ME GOD.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
i have problems really communicating i think, expressing how i feel really? like, sometimes, you want to say something but you just can't express it, or maybe you're too scared to say it.
and i have so many times been so afraid of finding myself by expressing myself so people think im really someone else. how sad is that?
i have resolved to blog more. it is cathartic.
anyway,
may the Lord Jesus's will be done in my life, on this earth, as it is in heaven, this is my prayer every day, and i'm glad when His will is done.
and i have so many times been so afraid of finding myself by expressing myself so people think im really someone else. how sad is that?
i have resolved to blog more. it is cathartic.
anyway,
may the Lord Jesus's will be done in my life, on this earth, as it is in heaven, this is my prayer every day, and i'm glad when His will is done.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Ive been listening alot, to the point of obsession, to Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No 2. It is a monumental, colossal, magnificent work, from the hands of God. The themes are so melancholic and so deep, and the development is stunning as well. I even tried to download the score to try to play it, but of course i am playing at like 1/8 of the speed, at the very most.
Do give it a listen
Do give it a listen
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I think people have very mistaken "impressions" of me, viewing me as an extrovert, flamboyant, old chum, or something like that. well, to tell you the truth, i am none of that sort.
many people think that all i want is a pretty girlfriend/wife. but really that's not what's on my radar. i really want someone who will last, who will love me enough to stay e distance with me, to go the distance with me. that's when i can put some of myself into that other person, to give off myself to that other person. to reach out, out of my shell, to her. but without that assurance of something lasting, it is merely impossible. i'm too afraid of being hurt.
The only person is Christ, who will do that for me. no one else has come close, so far.
i wonder who it will be. if there is that someone.
many people think that all i want is a pretty girlfriend/wife. but really that's not what's on my radar. i really want someone who will last, who will love me enough to stay e distance with me, to go the distance with me. that's when i can put some of myself into that other person, to give off myself to that other person. to reach out, out of my shell, to her. but without that assurance of something lasting, it is merely impossible. i'm too afraid of being hurt.
The only person is Christ, who will do that for me. no one else has come close, so far.
i wonder who it will be. if there is that someone.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
Hello 2010!
What will you bring?
Or what can I give?
What's in store?
I have been in limbo, really, but the Lord told me to wait on Him. Wait. Not to run off again and again. just wait.
"But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall soar up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint."
Isaiah something. i can't remember. Chapter 53 i think!
Im very tireed and a bit of a limbo. going to get my wisdom tooth plucked out tomorrow. means no eating. sigh. on that note, though, my food blog is updated! yippie.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Visiting Tampines again brings back so many old memories; memories of going to my old market, buying lanterns, of rickety school buses traipsing through tampines st 81, of the swimming pool with its large holes, of long rides visiting the piano teacher; i was young then, and earnest about the world; it was a nice kampung, it was home.
nostalgia brought me to go back towards the west (where i now live) using pretty much the whole stretch of east coast road. i remember my parents having plenty of friends who stayed in nice little houses along upper east coast road, all the church friends who owned houses there; i remember nice little family outings to katong to eat. or travelling in the car along the ECP; in fact i can still recall it very clearly: tanjong katong road, marine parade, marine vista, siglap road, bedok, bayshore, tampines! home!
oh well.
those days are gone i guess.
the west is very different. less neat. it's not quaint like the east is. everything is sprawling and vast and the roads curve here and there and there's plenty of forests and trees. the houses are much bigger. there are hills everywhere. it's great. but it's not like the east is.
i tried the most yummilicious cheng tng at bedok corner (ye lai xiang) which i will post about in my food blog, but it is really the works. absolutely amazing.
maybe we shouldn't have moved over to the west; we were happy in the east. sigh. my parents had real friends who treated them as friends. relocating, trying to find their roots again in the west, isnt' so easy. it just isn't the same.
sometimes when they say family lasts but friends don't, i'm not so sure; family is important, yes, but how can you say that long term friends aren't really like your family? isn't there just e same bond?
anyway the remaining of this post is going to be very technical but since blogging iz just for fun i will shout it out anyways;
many people ask me "how do you get so good at directions" and all that, and i explain to them that it's really quite simple. so i'll share with you a little secret.
singapore is a ridiculously easy city to navigate, really. because, just like all the other cities, the roads are all either north-south (longtitudes) or east-west (latitudes). so if you know how the roads are ordered, you can pretty much travel anywhere.
North-south roads (they travel from the NORTH to the south). so here's how they are ordered, starting from West moving towards East.
(Jurong)
Lim Chu Kang Road - Jln Bahar
Jurong Town Hall Road - Bukit Batok Road
Clementi Ave 6 (connecting the two highways)
Clementi Road - Upper Bukit Timah Road - Woodlands Road (to the causeway)
Buona Vista Road (in e south); BKE (in the north)
Farrer Road - Lornie Road - Upper Thomson Road - Sembawang Road
Thomson Road - Marymount Road - AMK Ave 6 - Lentor Avenue
CTE
(In the city):
Eu Tong Sen Street / New Bridge Road moving upwards: Hill Street / Victoria St;
(In the east)
Tanjong Katong Road - Paya Lebar Road - Upper Paya Lebar Road
Jln Eunos - Eunos Link - moving upwards to Hougang
(EAST WEST ROADS)
Moving from SOUTH to NORTH:
[in the West]
West Coast Highway - ECP
AYE - ECP
Jln Bukit Merah (not that long)
Commonwealth Avenue West - Leng Kee Road
Holland Road
Bukit Timah Road [links to Clementi Rd - upper bukit timah rd] - Rochor Road
PIE
SLE
(In the East)
(from the ECP)
Mountbatten Road - East Coast Road - Upp East Coast Rd
Sims Avenue - New Upper Changi Road - Upp Changi Road East
PIE
TPE
[moving north]:
Braddell Road - Bartley Road
AMK Avenue 1 - Boundary Road
AMK Avenue 3 - Houngang Ave 2
In fact, there are even diagonal roads: the most prominent being:
Upper Serangoon Road, moving diagonally from serangoon up till pongoll.
And there are ring roads:
the most famous and important being Queensway - Farrer Road - Braddell Road - Bartley Road - TPE
so if u know all this, you can find ur way around singapore+)
guaranteed.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
It's been so long since I've posted.
Hie guys.
Merry Christmas and celebrate Jesus's birthday. how cool is that.
Say Happy Birthday to Jesus if u haven't.
Hie guys.
Merry Christmas and celebrate Jesus's birthday. how cool is that.
Say Happy Birthday to Jesus if u haven't.
NYE is coming.
actually im not here to blog about serious stuff.
im just going to share some cool songs.
the first is:
liza minnelli - maybe this time
it's been on repeat for the longest time.
it's super cool.
and the other is
kristin chenoweth - taylor e latte boy.
and let me post the chords here. since u can't find them anywhere, i've attempted to decipher them.
haha
here goes:
A A#5
Maybe this time, I'll be lucky
A6 A7
Maybe this time, he'll stay
Maybe this time, he'll stay
(riff - E-D#-E-F-E-F-F#-F-F#-G)
D
Maybe this time
Maybe this time
D#5
For the first time
For the first time
D6 D#dim
Love won't hurry away
Love won't hurry away
(F#-F-F#-G-F#-G-G#-G-G#-G)
E E/D C#m F#7
He will hold me fast
E E/D C#m F#7
He will hold me fast
B B E7
I'll be home at last
I'll be home at last
A7 D7 G
Not a loser anymore
Not a loser anymore
A
Like the last time
Like the last time
F# B E
And the time before
And the time before
(Riff)
A A#5
Everybody loves a winner
Everybody loves a winner
A6 A7
So nobody loved me;
So nobody loved me;
D D#5
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
D6 D#dim
That's what I long to be
That's what I long to be
E E/D
All the odds are in my favor
All the odds are in my favor
A/C# F#m B7
Something's bound to begin
Something's bound to begin
A/E A#5/E
It's got to happen, happen sometime
It's got to happen, happen sometime
A6/E A
Maybe this time I'll win
F
Maybe this time I'll win
F
Bb [repeat it in Bb]
Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loved me;
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time
Maybe this time I'll win
So nobody loved me;
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time
Maybe this time I'll win
Monday, December 07, 2009
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
the Lord spoke to me, gave me A, and then said "put your helmet of salvation on."
i went off into the world, lost the plot, did stupid things, got myself entangled with the enemy.
came back to Jesus, apologised, He said he still loved me, things are great, i stayed there for a while.
forgot too easily, went into the world, lost e plot, did stupid things, got myself entangled with the enemy.
came back to Jesus, apologised, He said He still loved me, i said i love him, i stayed there for a while.
it went on and on.
tonite, i got home, Jesus said He still loves me, I said i love Him, was trying to mean it, was blessed with A and S that flowed very nicely, back to the magical moments and source, and then, i screwed up again. i went doubting, going to e enemy, and then, the blessings all stopped, and all i got was ruin.
went back to the Lord, the Lord said He still loves me, and i said i still love Him, and he blessed me again with A, S, with words of assurance, with life, with encouragement, and with assurances that A came from Jesus, "came from me", He said; so i said 'thankyou', i love you Lord.
and that was great.
now let me remain.
please God.
i still want to remain.
it's been too long out there fighting rainbows, being scared stiff coz of the enemy.
and i don't want to surrender.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Girls are superficial, men are worse.
So who am I to complain?
I used to think that, having a good heart is good enough. But no, you have to actually look like you can be brought out at dinner parties.
There is no girl here, mind, i'm just rambling.
So, time for a makeover. If you can't fight them, join them.
Ah, now, time to look for my biore pore pack. hmm.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
made too many mistakes in the past huh.
someone told me that singer-songwriters are often stalkers.
cue "hey there delilah " - was written for his crush (but never got to be together with).
taylor swift used to stalk her bfs.
coz songwriters are sensitive souls. and we don't go all out there to Flirt with people - so sometimes we can only stalk.
coz im not thick-skinnedenough to go talk to her right.
argh
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Just came back from prayer meeting.
Had a good talk with Uncle KF, i told him about the OCD which was getting bad. He said that all the great men of faith in the Bible all had some infirmity, and how Paul asked for his thorn of flesh to be removed but God didn't remove it - but he said that God has a reason why He didn't remove it. Likewise i have a thorn in my flesh, but i have to TRUST GOD that His non-removal of my thorn is for His own purpose, and for His own glory, and for His reasons, and will.
I learnt something today:
That I am to give the Father (GOD) glory - that's who I am. that's who i will be forever. yeah i'm happy with that.
My mind was prompted by the Holy Spirit to think "I'll give the Father glory/ I'll give my Father glory forever" - and I heard the Spirit say "that's who you are". yes. even in the midst of my infirmity.
For Jesus Himself CHOSE me, even though i am so unworthy. this can only equate to the work of the Father (logically speaking) = it must be the Father's work, and not mine. for Jesus Himself CHOSE me small minny me before i even chose Him, and thus it must be the work of the Father and it must be the Father's own will that it happens, so all glory be to the Father himself: may all the glory be given to the Father.
I love Jesus = but this is the Father's work. I love the Father = but this is the Father's work as well. So in all things, I am to give glory to the Father because it is His work; I am giving glory to the Father forevermore.
[and all the songs i've written are gifts from my Father above, through Jesus His Son. Cue James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows". => So the right response is to give the Father glory for His giving of songs to me, for His songs that he has bountifully and graciously given me. from "autumn", to "still madly in love", to all other songs, every song is from the Father THE LORD ALMIGHTY, and i just realised something as i meditated on this - is that He gave the songs to me even without me recognising that it was Him who gave it to me, in my ignorance and disbelief and rebellion, and without me even asking him specifically for these good gifts, so may I praise my Father and give my Father all the glory in the world and in the universe, and even more so because He still gave these gifts to me even though I did not recognise him or acknowledge him - so great is my Father's love for me!]
Note to myself: I need to be stronger mentally.
extremely weak in my mind still.
how do you be stronger mentality?
"put on the helmet of salvation" - because there are still evil forces in my brain. at all times, regardless of feelings.
the tendency for shawn is to live according to his feelings; but there are some times where you just have to "KEK" and say "NOOOO". "REN".
"ai bia jia wu nia" as my friend would say.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
inside me i've changed, somewhat; a bit more scared, i think i know i have to hold on to God but i'm not even sure what that really means, how do you hold on to Him? (yah i know they say He holds on to you) but i'm not even sure what you mean by you holding on to Him. i'm not even sure.
i think deep down i feel a bit inadequate, like i keep asking myself - why would God want me to enjoy life, or pursue my dreams? if it's my will, then it can't be His will, blah blah, absolutely didactic. i know it's not right but i can't help but feel this way sometimes.
but i believe - i must have faith - that Christ chose me, for His sake, and He will do His purpose in my life, in the things that i do, without me even realising that, which is good; i don't want to keep asking God - eh is this your will is it is it is it - but i want to be able to believe that, Yes it is.
hmms
faith faith faith.
and please put the helmet of salvation on because these thoughts are killing me. argh.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I write music to glorify Christ Jesus - this must be my main aim; it is an imperative (okay i've been reading too much of Kant).
But why? Because we were created to give Him glory.
So
"Still madly in love" is for Jesus Christ and His Glory
"Autumn" is for Jesus Christ and His Glory
So are all the other songs. All the songs.
The Westminster confession is right; we are created for the glory of GOD and our aim is to give Him glory.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
The emotional me is the real me actually; the rational logical me, is really not me.
thanks.
but it's okay to be emotional, even in law school.
i just have to be comfortable about who i am; emotional, unstable, up and down, intense feeling, INFP. Even though it may lead to many people judging me, who cares; i must be happy about who i am, about who God has made me.
and that he made me good. (an emotional)
feeling damn emo now;
i know it's technically my fault but emotionally i don't feel like it's my fault even though i know (if i want to be good) that i should feel that it's my fault but my soul is weak; but the Lord has forgiven me i better start forgiving; but UGH its really not my fault.
seriously, doing so much for law iv - but after a while everyone forgets me.
fine - i guess you all are sick of it - i'm sick of it too - maybe u are sick of me.
fine.
regina spektor is cool - i HEART "fidelity", and "us" - they are awesomely cool songs.
and there's no way i can find any sort of soulmate/gf right now; she'd have to read me intuitively. and know how i'm feeling; there are some girls who are uncanny at this. i used to be able to read some people like an open book; but no one really can read me eh. my mum can. but only her. everyone else i have to explain how i'm feeling; look friends look and listen with your heart, not with your earss..
sigh
everyone is too logical.
bleaghhdsgdsg0s
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sorry, i've just been listening to this song over and over and over again [pun intended]; this is rachael yamagata's "the only fault", super nice.
Extremely beautiful acoustic guitar plucking, great tune, unusual chords, and poignant lyrics.
Rachael Yamagata - The Only Fault [hidden track]
If i could have one wish
If i could have some say
I'd keep you far from home
I'd roll back both my sleeves
Dig under your skin
And fix your shattered bones
Hold on
This may hurt you when i tell you of the truth,
We don't get two lives to live
It's true,
The only fault i've found in you
Is not being free to take what i would give
If i could bend your pain
Into something good
Make you a prouder man
If i could rough you up
And save you with good luck
And show you hope again
Hold on,
Weren't meant to suffer so very long
Leaving love that's gone has never been a sin
Hang tight,
The only fault you have tonight
Is shutting down so cold till i break in.
Oh sad young man,
I think i need you.
For reasons i don't know
I pledge myself to winter season
So it's perfectly on course
But in the end it has to snow.
If i could make you stay
Convince you you'd be lost
If we were torn apart
If it remained unclear
Between the two of us
Which one would be the one
To break the others heart
Hold on,
This will floor me differently
Than any drug that's washed me into sleep
It's true
The only fault i'll take from you
Is how to run from what you wish to keep
Kinda autobiographical perhaps?
we are human;
not dancer.
[this is a really powerful exposition on the human condition, you crass dancers!]
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Jon sent me a link to Rachael Yamagata's "Elephants", which brought back memories of May, memories of my travelling down to the Esplanade to catch a glimpse of the singer-songwriter in all her yellow glory tell her funny sordid stories, as she pours her soul out to a packed esplanade concert hall in song. as her voice leaps over her tinkling ivories, or from time to time when she strums her guitar, she croons, growls, and wails, as her gravelly voice sings "over and over and over again...let it rain..."
Rachael yamagata is a really gifted songwriter; she has what you call craft, a craft that comes with much writing and playing, and her songs are so tuneful but more than just that there's a depth of emotion and warmth of soul that sucks you in and lulls you.
i especially like the hidden track from elephants (the second album), called 'the only fault', which i find frankly quite brilliant. other standout tracks are 'over and over', 'duet', 'elephants', and from the first album there are a whole shrew of favourites, such as quiet, 1963, be be your love, etc. it was a treat.
which reminds me of all the good concerts that i've been fortunate to catch in singapore; in fact most of the angmoh gigs i've gone to have all been standouts.
they include:
cranberries + no doubt - 2003 - amazing gig; 2 of my favourite bands; delores was just charming and so intense; gwen was a powerhouse and full of energy.
red hot chili peppers - an intense jam, coupled with naked sweating bodies.
suede - another awesome gig, at fort canning - with loads of charm, and brett anderson crooning his heart out.
jason mraz - he was just awesome; one of the best i've seen; his voice control was stunning.
rachael yamagata - enough said (just see above) - very enjoyable evening.
coldplay - another good gig; i didn't watch the viva la vida one, but the one before (2006) - that was still very enjoyable.
oh - just the one dud:
Oasis - just standing there and crooning isn't going to cut it - FAIL.
lea salonga is coming and it's going to be fun; anyone wanna watch? can sms me.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
i realised that it's okay really to be a geek.
I'm unabashed about it; I am a geek.
I used to code HTML the time before web editors came up.
i would do the <>
you know, all of that.
and java, for a bit.
i started my first blog in 1999; was just a stupid little geek then; still am!
there's nothing wrong with being a geek; just be comfortable who you are.
the girls don't like you, but i dont' really care; i find myself quite cute.
it's okay.
really.
anyway some nice songs i've been discovering are:
The Drums - Let's go surfing
Richard Hawley - for your lover give some time
Monday, October 19, 2009
I went for mass that very same Friday that the other post came about. CO invited me for mass and said it would mean much to her, so i went. i was very hesitant, but i was glad that i took the chance to go. we sat down there, sang the songs; was a bit uncomfortable with the 'mary' part, but then just kept it to myself. just wanted to see what it was like, but boy was it good! Like i told P, it is strange; we protestants often deride the mass as just being overly procedural, but in fact when i attended the mass there was a very deep sense of spirituality; you could feel the Holy Spirit's presence, the Heavenly Father's presence being there as everyone sang out to Him and like He was in the audience, and the very presence of the Lord Jesus Himself in the lecture theater where the mass was held. it was very strange; there was a deep sense of calm, a deep sense of spirituality. which was quite awesome. maybe a reaction to my previous post [which was posted just a few hours ago.]
Over the weekend, my walk has been... alright; some struggles, but mostly Christ Jesus staying close to me and allowing me [thank Him] to enfold myself in Him fully, to embrace Him fully, to snuggle in His arms as He embraces me. for He loves me dearly and i know that is true.
the problem with me, shawn, is that, often when the world hits me and tempts me, i am too greedy to say no to the things that will surely destroy me. may the blessed Holy Spirit give me discernment.
Friday, October 16, 2009
I wish GOD sometimes will manifest himself in a way that is more... REAL. Yes I do hear his voice, but sometimes they are plagued by the greatest doubts and uncertainty. And then it begs the question - how do we square experiences with faith?
You see, herein lies the issue: Faith is of course, commensurable with experience; but experience can either
a) destroy faith
or
b) strengthen it.
If b), then it happens so that one's 'experience' confirms what one believes, thus one sees the thing "hoped for" in one's life, in one's experience, so thus the faith is strengthened. but what happens if one doesn't experience what one believes, or, perhaps, even experiences the opposite of what was supposed to happen, then what does one do?
Can we then reach the stage where we can put our hope in GOD alone, apart from our experiences? That, in spite of our experiences, and our troubles, we base our lives on that unswerving faith in GOD? On that faith - that knowledge that the good promises are a reality - even in spite of experiences that tells you otherwise? Then it will be even better, for then what is left is just pure GOD, and none of yourself- pure faith, and no experience. Then one can see the fulness and greatness of God without getting your dirty human fingers into it.
indeed. it will be nice - the Lord has to help me. i can't feel this "help", but i know that it must come, for surely he hears.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
law school is damn stifling;
everyone does things for show; like, i will do "LOL" to provoke a reaction, or just laugh to get a reaction; or you know, be nice, when i'm like.....
it's not that i'm not nice or that i don't find it funny, but this "keeping up appearences" is SUPER STIFLING! super stifling!
"keeping up appearances" is not good for maintaining healthy friendships. trust me.
but law school is so bad. coz its so small and like the grapevine is everywhere.
i was quite happy being a weirdo.
Monday, October 05, 2009
The problem about me is that I am afraid of suffering.
But then, yesterday's CELL GROUP sharing has taught me some things about suffering; let me change my views O God!
"9For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, 30since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have."
It is a privilege, indeed, to suffer for Christ; Thus, it says, "consider it pure joy, when you undergo trials and temptations...". So I have to rejoice when I am facing suffering, and am suffering, and am going through all that, because I know that those are gifts from the Almighty God [since the Word has said so].
Indeed in this day and age it is apt to think of suffering as useless, or be bitter about it; or complain. but true maturity comes with accepting that suffering as a gift, and allowing it to change the inside of your soul.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Give Thanks to the LORD for He is good - His love endures forever.
LAW IV Today was awesome - and it couldn't possibly have come from anyone ELSE but the Lord Jesus, from whom all good blessings flow.
As it is written:
"All good gifts come from the Father, who does not change like shifting shadows."
I prayed with Edward today just before the thing, and throughout the performance I felt Jesus just beside my piano. He was with me (still is), and i was conversing with Him while playing. He told me to keep playing, to play for Him - that He still loved me and stuff, and I know that, even though I cannot see it, He made everyone sing well, made the performance awesome, and made everything good.
He said He would help and He did - I know that slowly slowly he is giving me more faith, and strengthening my faith again but letting me see.
I have to LOVE Jesus and REMAIN in Him. because i actually do love him a bit, but let it grow Lord.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
At the end of the day, we go back to God; for His love endures forever.
When we are tired and our lives have worn dry, and all that is left behind is begging to be embraced, we turn back to God, for His love endures forever.
When we need forgiveness and love, we turn to God, for His love endures forever.
Why run away?
Maybe because we want to be recognized by others.All the time - we do things to make ourselves popular. to grab attention.
how long shawn will you live in foolishness?
sigh.
law iv is nearly there; so many things to do, so many things yet uncompleted; not knowing what's going to happen, only knowing, hoping - not yet truly knowing - but soon to know - that God will be there when we perform, and may it be a show worth watching.
i will really miss the people who did law iv; the fun times in the audi. may we still remain friends after all that has gone away.
At the end of the day, we go back to God; for His love endures forever.
When we are tired and our lives have worn dry, and all that is left behind is begging to be embraced, we turn back to God, for His love endures forever.
When we need forgiveness and love, we turn to God, for His love endures forever.
Why run away?
Maybe because we want to be recognized by others.All the time - we do things to make ourselves popular. to grab attention.
how long shawn will you live in foolishness?
sigh.
law iv is nearly there; so many things to do, so many things yet uncompleted; not knowing what's going to happen, only knowing, hoping - not yet truly knowing - but soon to know - that God will be there when we perform, and may it be a show worth watching.
i will really miss the people who did law iv; the fun times in the audi. may we still remain friends after all that has gone away.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
It's sad when people lose all hope in mankind.
scared of being hurt, afraid to throw yourself out there again, scared of being taken advantage of, of being hurt;
then, there is nowhere to go but down.
can't God heal the hurts? can't God mend the pains?
then why be afraid of letting yourself go, to let yourself experience, be loved - for fear of being hurt?
sigh.
come on..
scared of being hurt, afraid to throw yourself out there again, scared of being taken advantage of, of being hurt;
then, there is nowhere to go but down.
can't God heal the hurts? can't God mend the pains?
then why be afraid of letting yourself go, to let yourself experience, be loved - for fear of being hurt?
sigh.
come on..
Monday, July 06, 2009
Im excited about law IV
things seem to be going well.
may my heart be with the Lord Jesus again!
yes i can say that it is with him right now
MAY IT BE WITH HIM FOREVER
BUT i have assurances from His Word. LET ME BELIEVE IT.
"For I know my sheep, and my sheep know me...I gave them eternal life and they shall never perish...no one shall snatch them from my Father's hands"
LET ME BELIEVE IT GODD!!
honeslty.
ive been down
and sick
and tired
but i must put my heart with my LORD JESUS
and trust His Plan for my life
things seem to be going well.
may my heart be with the Lord Jesus again!
yes i can say that it is with him right now
MAY IT BE WITH HIM FOREVER
BUT i have assurances from His Word. LET ME BELIEVE IT.
"For I know my sheep, and my sheep know me...I gave them eternal life and they shall never perish...no one shall snatch them from my Father's hands"
LET ME BELIEVE IT GODD!!
honeslty.
ive been down
and sick
and tired
but i must put my heart with my LORD JESUS
and trust His Plan for my life